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Poor Craig

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gkmacca

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Sounds like he's going through a really bad time.

"Losing my best mate destroyed my marriage": Craig Bellamy reveals how his life fell apart after Gary Speed's death


Former Manchester City and Liverpool striker says he's going through "the worst time ever" and "doesn't give a s*** about football"

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Disillusioned: Bellamy leaves after three hours training with Cardiff City
Sunday Mirror
Football star Craig Bellamy has tearfully revealed how his marriage is over, saying: “It’s the worst time in my life ever.”
Speaking to the Sunday Mirror, the former Manchester City and Liverpool striker tells how the death of close friend Gary Speed left him so heartbroken it destroyed his relationship with wife Claire.
The Cardiff City player has now moved out the £2million home he shared with his childhood sweetheart and their three children, saying he no longer cares about football.
“I’ve been living on my own for eight weeks now,” he says. “There’s no one else involved. I wish there was. I wish I had someone and I wish she (Claire) had someone. That would make it easier.
“It’s hit me hard. It’s nothing to do with football and it’s nothing to do with me as a footballer. I couldn’t give a s*** about football.
“It’s about real people, human beings, kids and families. I can’t tell you how hard it is. It’s the worst time in my life ever.”
Speaking at the flat he has rented just outside the city, tears fill his eyes as he speaks about Speed, 42, who was found hanging in the garage of his home in Cheshire last November.


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Best mates: Gary Speed is congratulated by teammate Bellamy after scoring for Newcastle

The father of two was Bellamy’s former boss at Cardiff City and also used to play with him at Newcastle.
“Losing my best mate has affected everything,” Bellamy says. “I can’t believe how hard it is. It has had an effect on everything.
“He was the best mate I’ve ever had. It’s sad but unfortunately it got to my marriage. I’m here and she’s there.
“I don’t know if that’s it for us. All I know is that my best mate has gone. I’m struggling. I can’t lie.”
His comments come only weeks after he starred at the Olympics as captain of Team GB. He bravely put aside his personal heartache as he led the team as far as the quarter finals.
Bellamy, 33, known as the bad boy of football, first started going out with Claire, also 33, when they were schoolchildren and they married in 2006.
He has often spoken of how important his wife and three children are to him.
“I surround myself with family,” he said last August. “I have got the most incredible wife in the world and unbelievable kids.”

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Happier times: Craig and Claire got together when they were still at school

And in an interview last year he spoke revealingly about how he often suffered from homesickness while away playing for his team.
“I spent nights crying myself to sleep,” he said. “I look at everything I have. I look at my children and everything I have is due to that. Now even if I spend Friday night away in a hotel, just one night, I can’t wait to get home.
“Before I would spend all my hours at training, come home, sleep, eat, watch football, sleep and go back to training the next day. Now I do the school run, train, pick up my daughter. I am living in the real world. I am a father now. That has given me more satisfaction than football.”
But all that fell apart when his relationship with Claire broke down. He left the family home in a village just outside Cardiff after the couple had an emotional heart-to-heart.
A friend said: “Claire asked Craig to leave and he agreed. He’s really close to his kids, so to leave them and be on his own is a big deal. It all happened so suddenly.
“A businessman friend of his lives in a beautiful converted pub which he has agreed to rent to Craig. He told him he was in a desperate hurry and that he would have to leave all his furniture there for him.
“Everyone is hoping it isn’t the end for him and Claire but it doesn’t look good.”

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The family home: Bellamy's house in St Brides in the Vale of Glamorgan
Rex
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The rental: The place where Bellamy is believed to be staying in Penarthe near Cardiff
Sunday Mirror


On Friday morning he drove his car out of the property’s underground car park and spent three hours at Cardiff City’s training ground.
He spent last week looking for a more permanent new home. On Thursday, he was spotted at a Cardiff lettings agency just an hour before being seen carrying bags into a new apartment.
Meanwhile, earlier this week he was forced to deny online claims that he had retired “with immediate effect”.
He issued a statement saying he was “fully committed” to playing football and that he hoped to be fit for a match next Saturday.
Cardiff City boss Malky Mackay, forced to respond to rumours on Twitter that Bellamy was about to quit the game for “undisclosed reasons”, told reporters: “There are plenty of rumours going about, but I’ve told you, he’s torn his calf.”

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Team GB: Bellamy starred at the Olympics

Bellamy is one of football’s most controversial figures. In January 2005 he repeatedly clashed with former Newcastle boss Graeme Souness over his insistence on playing Bellamy in midfield.
In March 2007, the night before Liverpool’s Champions League final against Barcelona, an allegedly drunk Bellamy confronted teammate John Arne Riise armed with a golf club. Then, after equalising against Barca, Bellamy celebrated with a golf swing in a mocking reference to the night before.
Two years later, during a game for Manchester City against arch-rivals United, he slapped a pitch invader as stewards attempted to remove the man.
In March 2010, after scoring twice against Chelsea, Bellamy launched a scathing attack on Blues’ captain John Terry over his affair with the partner of teammate Wayne Bridge.
He said: “I know what JT is like. Nothing surprises me about that guy.”
And last January he was charged with common assault after inflicting facial injuries on two men during a night out in Cardiff. He was later released with a caution.
All this came after he insisted in 2006, after marrying Claire and signing for his boyhood idols Liverpool in a £6million deal, that maturity and marriage had made him a changed man.
 
I wonder if Craig's wife would corroborate his version of the breakdown of their marriage?
 
Don't know, but it's been clear he's been in a bad state since the death. It could also help to explain why he seemed to fade in the latter part of last season. He got very hyper over that sports psychology stuff he was raving about - it's not uncommon for someone in that frame of mind to embrace something like that, mainly out of a desperate need to believe in anything new, then become completely disenchanted soon after.
 
Presumably this was behind his insistence on going back to Cardiff when we were clearly in no hurry for him to go.

How desperately sad. I hope they can work it out or, failing that, he can find peace some other way.
 
It answers a few questions though.

One thing that puzzles me is this rather glaring contradiction about being fully committed, but does not give a shit

regards
 
Hmmmm.. I think he gives his all to everything, even if in his heart he doesn't quite believe in it.
 
I've got no gripes over Bellamy anyway, alot of people laid into the club for letting him go. I think Rodgers was quite open and honest about it, saying he was away from his family and finding it hard, I think this goes someway to confirming that.

He's been great for the game, despite his volatile nature, he's all heart and completely honest in everyway, sometimes rather brutally, but I like that.
 
Shit can get to all of us, from that interview he does sounds depressed lumping everything together like that.... I hope he can get back on track.

Lovely house that.... not tacky footballer style at all...
 
If what he said is true then his wife is well out of order. Would have thought after so long she would have been more supportive considering the circumstances. Unless she's just using it as an excuse to get out.
 
If what he said is true then his wife is well out of order. Would have thought after so long she would have been more supportive considering the circumstances. Unless she's just using it as an excuse to get out.

The forgotten victim of a depression sufferer is nearly always the partner. Speaking from personal experience, it was only when I actually sought help for my illness that I realised that my wife had been as much a victim from two points of view. One, she had to live with the illness and the person suffering for years and two, she didn't understand that I was ill until after I'd left and sought help.

I suppose what I'm saying is, its unfair judging his wife unless we know the full circumstances. Something only she and Craig will know.
 
The forgotten victim of a depression sufferer is nearly always the partner. Speaking from personal experience, it was only when I actually sought help for my illness that I realised that my wife had been as much a victim from two points of view. One, she had to live with the illness and the person suffering for years and two, she didn't understand that I was ill until after I'd left and sought help.

I suppose what I'm saying is, its unfair judging his wife unless we know the full circumstances. Something only she and Craig will know.
Yup. It's all well and good to judge, but if the sufferer can't admit it, how is the partner meant to help?
 
Yup. It's all well and good to judge, but if the sufferer can't admit it, how is the partner meant to help?
Indeed. Its only when I finally realised that I needed help and got diagnosed, that I realised that my behaviours for many years had been that of a depressed person.

My wife was no Florence Nightingale and indeed my depression became more severe due a series of difficult life events - sudden death of a very close friend, a serious redundancy risk and a back operation all in the space of 6 months. On the face of it, the death of Gary Speed has triggered things to become more difficult for Craig.

I really hope he gets the help and support he needs. And without people, who actually don't know him, judging him and damning him. Depression is an illness that affects as many people as cancer and yet its still massively understood.
 
I think as well for someone who is close by (yet still on the outside) it can often appear as though the person going through it all is unwilling to help themselves, and often does things that are actually damaging. From their perspective I suppose it probably reaches a point where they go "I've tried so hard to be there for you and to help you, but until you're willing to help yourself there's nothing I can do".

Like John says, they're as much a victim as the sufferer, but unlike the sufferer there is nothing they can do to remedy the situation - so they are *entirely* at the mercy of that person's volatile mindset.

Although for the sufferer it is easy to feel like they are a helpless victim also, in truth there are things they can do to make things better - they're just incredibly fucking hard at the time
 
I think as well for someone who is close by (yet still on the outside) it can often appear as though the person going through it all is unwilling to help themselves, and often does things that are actually damaging. From their perspective I suppose it probably reaches a point where they go "I've tried so hard to be there for you and to help you, but until you're willing to help yourself there's nothing I can do".

Like John says, they're as much a victim as the sufferer, but unlike the sufferer there is nothing they can do to remedy the situation - so they are *entirely* at the mercy of that person's volatile mindset.

Although for the sufferer it is easy to feel like they are a helpless victim also, in truth there are things they can do to make things better - they're just incredibly fucking hard at the time

Couldn't agree more. The ex wife still shows she doesn't understand it, by telling me what I need to do, or rather what she thinks I need to do. The thing is, I know where I need to take my life, its just that doing those things is incredibly hard. If it were easy, we wouldn't suffer from depression!

But yes, now that I have improved my self awareness, I now realise that the cause wasn't the perceived lack of interaction from my wife, it was as much my behaviours. When you are in the victim mindset it can become very hard to see that you're to blame for anything.

Thankfully, that's an area where I've made massive change and it has had some good results.

Good luck to Craig. The first step to most recoveries is knowing there is a issue to deal with, or not ignoring it anymore.
 
If what he said is true then his wife is well out of order. Would have thought after so long she would have been more supportive considering the circumstances. Unless she's just using it as an excuse to get out.

We don't really know Glen, so making presumptions is pointless. She may well have been supportive and it just hasn't worked for other reasons, he might be a nightmare to live with in other respects, it might just be a simple case of it just being one of those marriages that don't work out, like many. We don't know, but it's clearly, at the very least been a difficult year for both of them. Death effects friends and family in all sorts of ways, it can take years to get over.
 
More armchair psychology here but Bellamy's mood seems to be environment driven. It's entirely normal to question the point of everything and to be down and to risk other relationships when you've just lost someone close to you. That doesn't mean he's clinically depressed, he's grieving.
 
Top class discussion. I can empathize with Spion having fought depression myself and it having an effect on my marriage, but I have never had to go through what Craig is going through. Despite all the money footballers make (and it certainly makes some aspects of life easier), it does not make them happy and Craig and Gary Speed are living proof.

YNWA, Craig. And same to you, Spion. Good luck!
 
The forgotten victim of a depression sufferer is nearly always the partner. Speaking from personal experience, it was only when I actually sought help for my illness that I realised that my wife had been as much a victim from two points of view. One, she had to live with the illness and the person suffering for years and two, she didn't understand that I was ill until after I'd left and sought help.

I suppose what I'm saying is, its unfair judging his wife unless we know the full circumstances. Something only she and Craig will know.
That's fair enough i can't say Im an expert, and total respect to you for being able to talk about it now. I can't even imagine the hell you have been through but glad you're over the worst of it.
 
We don't really know Glen, so making presumptions is pointless. She may well have been supportive and it just hasn't worked for other reasons, he might be a nightmare to live with in other respects, it might just be a simple case of it just being one of those marriages that don't work out, like many. We don't know, but it's clearly, at the very least been a difficult year for both of them. Death effects friends and family in all sorts of ways, it can take years to get over.
But that's why i said if. Bellers made out he was in the perfect marriage only last year, so it just seemed a bit of a shock to go downhill so quickly.
 
That's fair enough i can't say Im an expert, and total respect to you for being able to talk about it now. I can't even imagine the hell you have been through but glad you're over the worst of it.

Thanks mate. Wasn't having a pop, just sharing a different perspective.
 
More armchair psychology here but Bellamy's mood seems to be environment driven. It's entirely normal to question the point of everything and to be down and to risk other relationships when you've just lost someone close to you. That doesn't mean he's clinically depressed, he's grieving.

That's a very fair point too.
 
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