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Ayre Of Panic
PUBLISHED: 21:46 GMT, 12 September 2014 | UPDATED: 00:43 GMT, 13 September 2014
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Ian Ayres plan to install a cricket scoreboard for Saturdays vital clash with Premier League high fliers Aston Villa looked in doubt today after the box of Yorkies demanded by the crane driver was found, to be missing. This has lead to the crane driver refusing to lift the scoreboard into place and it is now left lying on some pallets at the back of The ‘Arry. This is particularly embarrassing for the clean shaven biker hard man as he was done a favour by local cricket club “The Tosser’s” by being allowed to borrow their scoreboard for the day.
A sexist Yorkie yesterday
Brendan Rodgers said, “I haven’t a fuckin’ clue now get off my bonnet” when asked about the Yorkies by this reporter. Colin Pascoe said, ”Mmpphfh Munch Mphfhh Munch” when confronted face-to-face by telephone and hurriedly hung up his iphone, which he picked up at a bargain price from Carphone Whorehouse immediately after Apple announced this years overhyped shit last Thursday.
Emergency plans to keep the score down to single figures were secretly been prepared by someone at the club today. But a source close to a man who cuts the grass for some people who live a few kilometres away has revealed some of the measures to used if Liverpool are starting to make it look like a cricket score, these include:
● Not giving Rickie Lambert a tissue to wipe his eyes after hew scores a few in front of the kop
● Wiring Balotellis stimulus vest to the atmosphere in the corporate boxes
● Flashing ‘that picture’ of Bar Rafaeli stretching her starfish, from last weeks ’The Fappening’, on the big screen if Sterling is baring down on goal
The possible facial expression on Raheem upon seeing Bar Rafaelis stretched starfish
Read more: http://www.dailyfail.co.uk/sport/football/article-2754116/Brendan-Rodgers-says-stop-Liverpool-star-Raheem-Sterling-burning-out-Aston Villa.html#ixzz3DCHAUvtV
Follow us: @FailOnline on Twitter | DailyFail on Macebook
- Ian Ayre is prepared to call in everyones Mum to get a confession
- Liverpool supremo is adamant the perpetrator(s) will be found
- Crane is on site, driver is on strike
- Liverpool face embarrassment after favour from local cricket club
PUBLISHED: 21:46 GMT, 12 September 2014 | UPDATED: 00:43 GMT, 13 September 2014
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Ian Ayres plan to install a cricket scoreboard for Saturdays vital clash with Premier League high fliers Aston Villa looked in doubt today after the box of Yorkies demanded by the crane driver was found, to be missing. This has lead to the crane driver refusing to lift the scoreboard into place and it is now left lying on some pallets at the back of The ‘Arry. This is particularly embarrassing for the clean shaven biker hard man as he was done a favour by local cricket club “The Tosser’s” by being allowed to borrow their scoreboard for the day.
A sexist Yorkie yesterday
Brendan Rodgers said, “I haven’t a fuckin’ clue now get off my bonnet” when asked about the Yorkies by this reporter. Colin Pascoe said, ”Mmpphfh Munch Mphfhh Munch” when confronted face-to-face by telephone and hurriedly hung up his iphone, which he picked up at a bargain price from Carphone Whorehouse immediately after Apple announced this years overhyped shit last Thursday.
Emergency plans to keep the score down to single figures were secretly been prepared by someone at the club today. But a source close to a man who cuts the grass for some people who live a few kilometres away has revealed some of the measures to used if Liverpool are starting to make it look like a cricket score, these include:
● Not giving Rickie Lambert a tissue to wipe his eyes after hew scores a few in front of the kop
● Wiring Balotellis stimulus vest to the atmosphere in the corporate boxes
● Flashing ‘that picture’ of Bar Rafaeli stretching her starfish, from last weeks ’The Fappening’, on the big screen if Sterling is baring down on goal
The possible facial expression on Raheem upon seeing Bar Rafaelis stretched starfish
Read more: http://www.dailyfail.co.uk/sport/football/article-2754116/Brendan-Rodgers-says-stop-Liverpool-star-Raheem-Sterling-burning-out-Aston Villa.html#ixzz3DCHAUvtV
Follow us: @FailOnline on Twitter | DailyFail on Macebook
Calm down.
We'll still win.
We'll still win.
Lambert with a hat trick in front of the kop, each one set up by sterling, whilst he gets his third just after Lambert gets his, leading to a playful fight over who should get the match ball, only ending when Rodgers points out that there's more than one match ball, whilst groping both of them.
That's what they'd like you to think.
There's only one 'active' match ball allowed at any time. It's sometimes changed at half time.
Chelsea fans showing their class singing that Stevie song again.
Must be fun singing about a rival winning the title whilst another rival finished above you.
Must be fun singing about a rival winning the title whilst another rival finished above you.
Fucking Costa. Fucks sake.
Great, another bloody nut job conspiracy theorist!
I told you Swansea would run those missed chances. Knew it Costa them.
Bad pun. Wrong thread.
I can stomach them singing it when we play them, as obviously it happened against them, but why on earth would they sing it when they're playing Swansea?!
Dammit.
Twas correct aswell
GWAN THE LAD
No Sterling? Wathafuck?
BR in 'the team before the star' gamble.
BR in 'the team before the star' gamble.
It's the fact they're doing it whilst playing Swansea. It just highlights their sad obsession.
I'm going to have to follow this ITK bugger now !
Had I known this beforehand I would have predicted a 0-1 loss to us.
Aye
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