Is it worth doing my RAAAAATTTTIIINNNNGS? Seems ages ago now. Ah, fuck it. HERE THEY ARE!!!!!
We won. Yes, yes that is all that counts, I know. But there was still quite a bit to be concerned about, not least injuries, squad size and also form. But without dwelling on things we can't control, it's certainly worth discussing how very haphazard, sloppy and worrying that game was. Conceding three goals at home to fucking Palace?! Really? And we had to rely on some totally spasticated goalkeeping from Speroni, not to mention a couple of spawny deflectiosn of our own.
Three points, yeah. But not a good three points. At this stage of the season we need to start racking up clean sheets aswell. This was haphazard and sloppy at times.
Alisson (5) Palace didn't have many chances, but Alisson let them all in. So no, not a great display. They were hit low and hard, but he should have done much better with the the last one. Distribution was good.
Milner (5) Really tough this one. He was indefatigable as usual, and charged forward to great effect, supplying dangerous crosses and some excellent passing too. But defensively, he was pulled to pieces by the coruscating skills and speed of Zaha; rinsed for the goal and then rightly sent off for two despairing, bad late tackles. So 7 in attack, and 3 in defence. If Moreno had performed like that he'd have been RUINED by the fans.
Matip (6) Not in a great position for the first goal, but a decent performance, although he and Van Dijk never quite managed to look in total control. Missed a good chance with his 50p head, as usual.
Van Dijk (6) Spawny assist was nice, although like Matip he had chances to score himself. Not sure what happened with the awful marking for Tompkins' goal, as there was some bumping and impeding going on to leave the Palace defender totally free.
Robertson (8) Another tediously effective and efficient display; almost faultless in defence and a non-stop threat in attack, as he pounded up and down the line for 90 minutes. Relentless.
Fabinho (7) Smart display of defensive awareness - often slotting into space that had been left by defenders moving forward - and he was also probing and adventurous with his passing. Has improved a lot since his first tentative displays and is now a first-choice for me. Hope he is fit after that knock, as he gives us solidity and authority in midfield. Likes a tackle too.
Henderson (7) Impressive overall (although that sloppy, slow square pass to end Milner's day was annoying), Henderson was close to his best level here: sharp in and out of possession, drove the team forward and put in a Sisyphean midfield shift. This is what we need from him every week.
Keita (4) A fucking passenger. Not sure the left midfield/ winger/ inside forward position suits him - or indeed if that's where he was supposed to play, as he seems to gravitate away from the action - but he was shit yet again. Replaced by Shaqiri, and shouldn't be starting games for Liverpool at the moment.
Mane (6) Hmmmmm. As ever, an extra point for the vital goal that made the points secure (ish), but God Almighty his decision-making and final ball was all over the place like the proverbial mad woman's piss as the game progressed, as his desperation for a goal seemed to make him greedy and wasteful. He's so vital to the way we play, with his pace, aggression and direct approach, but he needs to be a bit less tunnel-vision and careful with the ball.
Firmino (7) At times he was as wasteful and frustrating as Mane, over-elaborating and coughing up the ball, but he was as prodigious as ever with his harassment of the Palace defenders (and midfielders and attackers), covering lots of ground and always looking to create something. Scored again, with the help of a deflection, but you have to shoot to have a chance and he's doing just that more often lately.
Salah (8) Cute, quick-thinking finish for the first goal, and there was another huge slice of luck for the second, which he smashed in from 0000.1mm out after Spazoni decided to try and score from a Milner cross. Embarrassing dive aside, this was another top quality display, with some mesmerising close control and punishing ball skills that are not designed to impress the cameras or wow the crowd, but to inflict maximum damage on the opposition.