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Just when you thought Newcastle have gotten their act together

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"With the budgets and what we've seen so far in the transfer market, the worst I would be looking at is finishing 10th," he continued.

"But we really need to be looking at pushing ourselves up with the Evertons, with the Liverpools and so forth and, in the next two or three seasons, make ourselves into a top-six side.

"Newcastle are a club that should be looking for bigger and better things. We have a fantastic fanbase, pobably the best in football, and they deserve it."
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Pressure starting to mount for Pardew!
 
`The thing is, that Newcastle are almost guaranteed to have a better season that last season. It will look like a good move, when in fact that were fairly unlucky quite often last season
 
I remember a few years back when Rafa was at war with the board and there was all sorts of nonsense being played out in public, some interviewer asked Sami how it felt having so much non football related headlines surrounding the club. His response was to the effect "Its not helping, we need to put an end to this soap opera, we are not Newcastle" Pretty much sums up how I feel about them, a ridiculous circus of a club with no concept of subtlety
 
Would be interesting if they keep up with their working tapping on the French market. Kinnear doesn't look like one who'll warm to such an idea to me.
 
gene hughes said:
So Ashley, in order to get his money back, gives Pardew a long multi-million pound contract but fiendishly keeps a portion back every month?

Yea, that sounds like something that could happen at Newcastle.
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It could, but I think this is Ashley's interpretation of best practice for football clubs
He's read the book, and is putting his own spin on it.

It's a bit like Dantes' judicial review
 
Rosco said:
It could, but I think this is Ashley's interpretation of best practice for football clubs
He's read the book, and is putting his own spin on it.

It's a bit like Dantes' judicial review
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Except Ashley has a couple of brain cells to fall back on, and one of those cells has never done anything more complicated than to help him identify the nearest chip shop. I have the opposite problem.
 
Jan Molby's column

http://uk.eurosport.yahoo.com/blogs...wcastle-return-recipe-disaster-154048179.html


The appointment of Joe Kinnear as Newcastle's director of football is very strange. I totally agree with the format of having a director of football or a sporting director overseeing matters at a club, but there is no history of it working in Britain.

There are too many examples of it around Europe where you see it works. But not in the UK. It is very much a British thing when so many managers get a sporting director and suddenly feel threatened.

I can see why chairmen would want that set-up. When you decide that is what you want to do, you have to get the best man for the job as if you are appointing a coach or a manager. But then you come up with Joe Kinnear. Is he the best man?

I think when you appoint a sporting director, you would maybe think of someone like Damien Comolli, whatever people think of him, or Frank Arnesen, who has just been sacked by Hamburg. Somebody with a bit of history in that role.

Joe Kinnear has come out and said he has the final say on transfers. But that job is about much more than just finding the right players. It is about being able to open doors. It is about being able to get the right people to take your phone calls. It is about being able to negotiate with people.

I don't know Joe Kinnear particularly well, but he has no history of doing anything like this. Can you imagine Joe Kinnear picking up a telephone to try to buy a player from Real Madrid and leaving a message. I don't imagine they will be quick to phone him back. I don't mean that to be disrespectful, but we all know how the world works.

You strike up relationships with people, and do each other favours. As big as the football world is, it is also a small village.

It is all about who you know. I don't see Joe Kinnear's qualifications in the role they have given him. I don't think he has been anything other than a football manager. He wasn't even a great success as a manager. He had a bit of success at Wimbledon and taking Luton Town up a division. That's about it.

This is a different role, and I just don't see it. Alan Pardew is probably on holiday somewhere in the world. This is the last thing he would have wanted.

It appears to have been done over his head. If it had been a respected director of football with history, I think Alan could have understood what they were trying to do. But this is almost like saying: "we want Joe back so let us create a role for him". He is unqualified for the role he has been handed, and you can rest assured Joe will get involved.

Everything we know about him suggests he won't be shy in coming forward to offer his opinions. The current set-up of Mike Ashley, Derek Llambias, Joe Kinnear and Alan Pardew working together won't last. In that current format within 12 months, it just won't work.

Pardew is going to feel very uncomfortable at the moment. They've not had a great season, but the basis of that squad is not too shabby. It is already a top-10 Premier League squad. There are one or two areas that maybe need tweaked. I don't see the need for dramatic changes.

They lost Demba Ba to Chelsea during the season, and are maybe one or two players away from being a better side next season.

Frank Arnesen has a fantastic record across Europe, but it didn't work for him at Chelsea or Spurs. It almost feels like Kinnear is a manager-in-waiting, like Gerard Houllier's involvement alongside Roy Evans at Liverpool proved to be, and Joe has done nothing in football apart from play and manage.

He is in his mid-60s, but will have to do things that he has never done before.

He would have spoken to his chief executive in his career, and told them to go and buy a player. Now he will have to do that.

You need a different set of skills in that role. You keep trying to look for positives in this appointment, and you can't see any.

He says he wants to make Newcastle successful as possible. Of course he will, but does he have the skills for the role in a world moving faster and faster?

I'd like to see Joe Kinnear's contacts book compared to somebody doing the same job at Borussia Dortmund or Bayern Munich. That in itself must be a handicap. It can be very difficult.

Also Joe being there before will work against him. He is not popular with the fans. People are looking at the fall-out from this. Joe Kinnear is not going to fill Newcastle with players who will get the club relegated. But neither is he going to be the answer to problems that obviously exist.

In Pardew, we could already be looking at a dead man walking. It is probably just about the right assumption to make.

Joe Kinnear has been out of football for five years. He is a great football man, but there are plenty of those going about. That doesn't give him the skills required for such a job.
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I just can't wait to see Kinnear now he claims he's 'in the best shape' of his life. Maybe he's got back together with his old stalker, Marina Sirtis.
 
cloggypop said:
Yohan Kebab!!! HA HA HA!!!


View: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kuAVjLpU9cU&feature=youtu.be
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Newcastle fans claim their club has been turned into a laughing stock after new director of football Joe Kinnear gave a cringeworthy defence of his job .

The former Toon boss gave a radio interview a day after he announced himself that he had taken the position at St James’ Park.

Kinnear took to the airwaves after the appointment was greeted with widespread criticism from the Magpies' fans.

But instead of clarifying his position, he launched into a gaffe-strewn rant against the fans and media, while repeatedly getting the names wrong of players and management wrong – including pronouncing Yohan Cabaye as ‘Cabab’.

He also claimed to have signed a player who had already been at the club for several years when he arrived.


He referred to managing director Derek Lambias as ‘Lambezee’, Yohan Cabaye as ‘Cababs’, Shola Ameobi as 'Amanobi', Jonas Gutierrez as 'Gaultierez' and Hatem Ben Arfa as both ‘Ben Afrie’ and 'Ben Afra'.

When asked about supporter unrest, he said on talkSPORT: “Look at my record. These people ask what have I done. Where have these people been - on another planet? I’ve played in five Cup Finals and won the lot. I played more than 400 games for Tottenham Hotspur.

“Already they’re jumping on the bandwagon and saying, ‘look out, Pards’. But I expect it, it’s water off a duck’s a**e.”

Kinnear, who actually made 258 appearances for Spurs, said he will meet manager Alan Pardew on Tuesday as both men attempt to establish some boundaries.

The 66-year-old, who managed the Geordies in the 2008-09 season - which ended in them being relegated from the Premier League - claimed to have brought keeper Tim Krul, who made his Magpies debut in 2006, to the club.

He also claimed to have paid £50,000 for striker Dean Holdworth when Wimbledon manager (actual figure: £720,000) and to have been Manager of the Year three times (he was LMA Manager of the Year in 1994).

Reliving his infamous rant at reporters in October 2008, Kinnear also claimed his Newcastle side had beaten Spurs that night, 2-1.

However, the incident happened on a Thursday, and the Magpies had not played since the previous Saturday - when they LOST 2-1 to Blackburn.

Newcastle fans immediately took to talkSPORT and social media to express their embarrassment and anger:

http://www.mirror.co.uk/sport/footb...e-return-mistake-filled-1959361#ixzz2WWN2sGGU
 
Has he always been like this? I remember him when he was at Wimbledon and I vaguely recall the last time he was at Newcastle but I don't remember him being this much of a clown.
 
Richey said:
Has he always been like this? I remember him when he was at Wimbledon and I vaguely recall the last time he was at Newcastle but I don't remember him being this much of a clown.
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I too vaguely remember his stint at Newcastle and yes he was a bit of a knob then as well. I believe he had a couple of infamous press conferences were he was swearing up a storm and treating the press like a jerk.
 
Modo said:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_kebabs#Others

Oh and Ben Afro.
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Kebab.png
 
Newcastle United have still officially to confirm Joe Kinnear's controversial appointment as their director of football but this omission failed to prevent him giving a shambolic and often contradictory interview on Monday night.
The installation of the club's former manager as, among other things, controller of transfers was expected to be rubber-stamped on Monday morning so, by the evening, the enduring silence from St James' Park hinted at a hitch. Kinnear, though, told Talksport he had signed his contract on Sunday night.
Yet that proved the least of the jaw-dropping moments of Kinnear's interview. During his conversation with Andy Goldstein and fellow former Wimbledon manager Bobby Gould, the 66-year-old claimed responsibility for signing Tim Krul [a goalkeeper recruited by Graeme Souness] as well as James Perch [bought by Chris Hughton], said "Derek Llambezee [Derek Llambias, Newcastle's managing director] had resigned as director of football [a position he has never held]and talked about Shola Amenobee, Yohan Kebab and Hatem Ben Afre rather than Shola Ameobi, Yohan Cabaye and Hatem Ben Arfa.
Kinnear also claimed that he has spoken to Alan Pardew on the phone and is meeting Newcastle's manager for lunch on Tuesday before then turning on the "negativity" of Newcastle supporters by insisting he had "more intelligence than them".
Then there was his claim that he has been named manager of the year three times when he has, in reality, won the award once, and the boast that his "worldwide" contacts were so extensive no door was closed to him.
"I heard a silly comment of 'what can I attract?' I can open the door to any manager in the world, anyone, that's the difference," said Kinnear. "I've spent my whole life talking to [Sir] Alex Ferguson, week in, week out. I can pick the phone up at any time of the day and speak to Arsène Wenger, any manager in the league. In all the divisions."
Despite Kinnear earlier maintaining that Pardew was "delighted" by his impending arrival, Newcastle's manager on Monday failed to supply any comment for draft versions of the club's official press release regarding the new director of football's arrival, thereby perhaps explaining the delay in its publication.
While Pardew was briefed in advance about the 66-year-old's new role and seemingly accepted it was "a done deal" – Kinnear variously said he was approached "three weeks" and "10 days" ago – it is understood the manager did not envisage the job's remit would be quite as extensive as the incoming director of football imagines. Nonetheless, Pardew was said to remain "relaxed" about the newcomer's advent.
Senior figures at Newcastle were apparently taken aback by the considerable sphere of influence that Kinnear claimed he will enjoy on Tyneside as he spoke to television and radio reporters on Sunday. With a club statement scheduled to be released on Monday morning and the former Wimbledon manager due in Newcastle on Thursday, it had been thought he would keep his own counsel until everything was finalised.
That has proved impossible but, having said on Sunday that he had the last word on player purchases, Kinnear backtracked on Monday night. Possibly accepting he had originally gone too far, he claimed: "We [he and Pardew] both have the final say."
Although Llambias – who is away on holiday – has been involved in transfer discussions with Kinnear, the decision to hire him was very much down to Mike Ashley, Newcastle's owner and the man who first recruited the former Tottenham full-back in 2008 following Kevin Keegan's departure.
Heart problems ended Kinnear's five-month stint as manager but, to the considerable dismay of the bulk of Newcastle fans – not to mention those he dubs "the snidey" local press – he is now en route back to the north-east to oversee football operations.
Many predict trouble ahead with Pardew but, in an interview with the Evening Chronicle, Kinnear – who also declared he would block the unsettled Cabaye's mooted move to Monaco – demurred. "Before I had a meeting with Mike, Derek said he's informed Alan, and Alan said, 'Great news. I'm delighted with that,' he claimed. 'At last I've got somebody who's a football guy.'
"Derek explained that I'm coming in as director of football. He [Llambias] is going to go on the finance side and anything to do with football is coming my side."
Based at the club's training ground, Kinnear – who also claimed he would shoulder virtually sole responsibility for communicating with Ashley – expects to travel with the squad during a pre-season trip to Portugal, accompany Carr on scouting missions and frequently watch first-team games from the stands.
Meanwhile, Fabricio Coloccini has announced that he intends to remain a Newcastle centre-half rather than seek a move back to his native Argentina. "I will stay," said the captain.
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Kinnear's Newcastle 11 for next season:

---------------------- Cruel ------------------------
Derbooty --- Taylor --- Colonkini --- Haridae
-------------- Kebabs --- Twatter ----------------
----- Shesocool ------------------ Ben Afro ----
------------- Sashay ----- Gofrance -------------
 
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