He'd get sent off on his debut, no doubt.
THEO WALCOTT has yet to convince Arsene Wenger that he deserves a new bumper deal at Arsenal.
And that news puts the England winger’s long-term future at The Emirates in real doubt – and a host of top clubs across Europe on major transfer alert.
Premier League rivals Chelsea and Liverpool are both watching developments closely as are big-spending French outfit Paris St-Germain and Italian giants Juventus.
Arsenal ace Walcott, 22, has only 18 months left on his current contract and, back in October, said he was ready ‘to listen’ to what Arsenal had to offer.
But negotiations are moving slowly, with the club reluctant to give the player the £85,000-a-week, four-year deal he wants.
Much of that appears to be down to Gunners manager Wenger.
According to sources close to the club, the Frenchman is still unsure if Walcott will ever fulfil his true potential in N5.
An Arsenal insider told the Daily Star Sunday: “Arsene remains uncertain about Theo developing into a top, world-class player. He thinks he runs in straight lines too much.”
As long as that scenario persists then a bid of around £15million – either in the current window or next summer – would seriously test the Gunners’ resolve to keep the ex-Southampton starlet.
Walcott became the world’s most expensive teenager in January 2006 when Wenger blew £12m on the then 16-year-old to beat off interest from Manchester United.
But throughout his time in north London, Walcott’s inconsistency on the flanks has been a major source of frustration for everybody at the club – and, in particular, Wenger.
Last summer, the Gallic coach was ready to sell Walcott – only for the exits of Samir Nasri and Cesc Fabregas, along with Jack Wilshere’s ankle injury, to force a rethink.
Our source added: “Arsene did tell the board that Theo could go at the right price. But all the upheaval at the club meant he ended up staying.”
Despite getting another chance to prove himself and, arguably, producing some of his best displays in an Arsenal shirt during the first half of this season, it seems Walcott is still to win over his boss.
That situation was highlighted last month in Arsenal’s 1-0 defeat at Manchester City when Walcott was visibly upset with Wenger after being subbed in the second half. And many predict he will be the one, from the current starting line-up, to make way once fellow England star Wilshere returns to first-team action in February.
With teenager Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain (left) also signed from Southampton, now waiting in the wings, Wenger already has a replacement should Walcott leave.
Much depends on whether the Three Lions star, capped 21 times, is willing to lower his wage demands to a more realistic figure of £75k a week.
If he does, Wenger will retain his services in the hope he finally delivers on a regular basis. If not, then Walcott looks sure to go, sparking a major transfer scrap.
Chelsea boss Andre Villas-Boas is expected to lead the chase, having been impressed with Walcott in Arsenal’s 5-3 win at the Bridge earlier this season.
He faces plenty of competition, though. New PSG coach Carlo Ancelotti is a big admirer, with cash to burn and Juventus have been on the player’s trail since last summer.
Liverpool boss Kenny Dalglish is also a fan of the playmaker but may have more pressing transfer priorities at Anfield.
CHRIS SAMBA is set to ask for a move from Blackburn, with QPR boss Neil Warnock about to make a £6million bid.
Tottenham and Liverpool are also monitoring the 27-year-old centre-back, who has been in outstanding form despite Blackburn’s miserable run.
Rovers do not want to sell for less than £10m but it is believed Samba will ask for a move if no fee can be agreed for his sale.
Arsenal are believed to be preparing a £10 million transfer bid for Lukas Podolski, amid reports the FC Cologne striker has fallen out with the club's director of sport, Volker Finke.
Podolski, 26, has scored 14 goals in 16 Bundesliga games this season and is in some of the best form of his career, but the Germany international has hinted that he may leave Cologne as his contract expires.
The reported bust-up with Finke could hasten Podloski's exit and Claus Horstman, the German club's managing director, virtually confirmed the rift, saying: "The two don't have to love each other, but they must respect each other and trust each other."
Arsene Wenger has already signed up New York Red Bull's striker Thierry Henry on a short-term loan deal in order to add more fire power to the Arsenal attack, but Podolski would provide a long-term partner for Robin van Persie.
And Arsenal defender Per Mertesacker thinks fellow German international Podolski would be perfect for the Gunners. "He scores a lot of goals, he's a good striker with a very good left foot," he said.
"His left foot is unbelievable and I'm a fan of his. This year, he has scored a lot of goals. He is powerful as well he's a great player."
Cologne have reportedly slapped a £12.5 million price tag on Podolski, but with his contract due to expire in June 2013 there is room for negotiation.
The Aston Villa striker has scored against every current Premier League team except Swansea and QPR and stands on 97 goals from 222 games.
His goals-per-game ratio is up there with the likes of Michael Owen, Wayne Rooney and Robbie Fowler, too. He is ninth on 0.44.
Bent’s best season was his first at Sunderland in 2009-10 with 24 goals from 38 games, accounting for 50 per cent of their goals that season.
Lukas Podolski has ruled out making a move during the January transfer window for fear of losing his Euro 2012 place with Germany.
The Polish-born, naturalised German has been heavily linked with a switch this winter to one of a number of clubs, with Arsenal and Lazio thought to be the front-runners in negotiations.
However, reiterating his agent’s claims that a move could jeopardise his chances of making Germany’s European Championship squad this summer, Podolski has confirmed he is not leaving Cologne until at least the summer.
“I have always said that I have not been dictated by the pressures of time when deciding my future. I do not believe in lightening strikes, I must be clear. I believe that I will see everything in the summer.
“With Cologne I hope to get as high as possible, I want to exceed the number of goals I scored last season. With the national team I want to play in the European Championships in Poland, my homeland.
“We are among the favourites and our dream is to win the trophy, we cannot hide.”