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Lucas - he's off ! - Oh no he Isn't

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Where is the Lucas? Is he wearing a bib? Anyone on bin duty with a camera to see if he's clearing out his locker?
 
Where is the Lucas? Is he wearing a bib? Anyone on bin duty with a camera to see if he's clearing out his locker?

Has been told to train alone after rejecting Galatasaray move.

lucas-leiva-of-liverpool-during-a-training-session-at-st-louis-on-1-picture-id585041648
 
He's not clearing it out, he's just moving eveything in the locker aimlessly from one side to the other and back again.
 
... and in other news today from around the solar system, after yesterday's nuclear destruction of Earth, everything seems to have died except for a few cockroaches, Cher & Lucas.
 
Lucas is like one of those stains you get on your new clothes after a night out, You know those ones only you see. No matter what you do to try and shift it, it just won't go. You eventually accept it is there, however it does your head in knowing it is there so you don't wear the clothes for best anymore, but they do have their occasional good uses..
 
Lucas is like one of those stains you get on your new clothes after a night out, You know those ones only you see. No matter what you do to try and shift it, it just won't go. You eventually accept it is there, however it does your head in knowing it is there so you don't wear the clothes for best anymore, but they do have their occasional good uses..

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Andy Carroll knows what you mean.
 
It's so fucking depressing. Fucking Lucas.
9 Fucking years of it! I don't want to hate him because he doesn't pick the team, he doesn't dictate transfer policy, he's a good guy who does lots of work in the community etc BUT if someone told me 7 years ago that I'd still be watching him in a LFC shirt all these years later I'd have topped myself.
 
Lucas is like one of those stains you get on your new clothes after a night out, You know those ones only you see. No matter what you do to try and shift it, it just won't go. You eventually accept it is there, however it does your head in knowing it is there so you don't wear the clothes for best anymore, but they do have their occasional good uses..

I'm a bit lost. Is Lucas the stain or the new clobber?
 
In the summer when transfer fees went mad , we can't even give Lucas away

You'd think a top quality defensive midfielder with the most interceptions and tackles in the Premiership, who is still only 29 and has spent nearly a decade at a great club like Liverpool, would be slightly more in demand!

It's utterly mystifying, it really is.
 
Out of contract next summer. Surely it cant go wrong then??!

At least it gives us a year to line up a new fall-guy. We'd be struggling to find one before the season kicks off otherwise. This way we can sign one in Jan which gives us six months to work on withering put-downs to use for the following season.
 
Out of contract next summer. Surely it cant go wrong then??!

I hope there's a DVD!

"Lucas - An Entire Decade Of Shite"

Although highlights of his Liverpool career will at least ensure it's not a very long DVD. Certainly won't require two discs, unless one is footage of him falling over, fouling people and passing to the opposition
 
I hope there's a DVD!

"Lucas - An Entire Decade Of Shite"

Although highlights of his Liverpool career will at least ensure it's not a very long DVD. Certainly won't require two discs, unless one is footage of him falling over, fouling people and passing to the opposition

This will be the opening sequence from the DVD;

 
So, he didn't even give away two fouls a game last season in the PL.

83.5% passing accuracy in the PL, 79.6% in the opposition half.

Aerial duels won 62 out of 105, 59%.

Yeah, he is shit and the stats is imagined up by the club.
 
This will be the opening sequence from the DVD;



Souness, Gerrard, Alonso, Mascherano, McDermott, Whelan, Hamann, McMahon, Molby and now.......LUCAS

The Pantheon of Liverpool Midfield Greats!

We've already established that Lucas is by far the worst player to ever play so many games, or stay so long at Liverpool - NINE YEARS AND COUNTING! - but where does he actually sit in that list of LFC midfielders of the last 20-30 years, if we remove the games played/length of service factor?

He's probably better than Poulsen isn't he? And Spearing?
 
So, he didn't even give away two fouls a game last season in the PL.

83.5% passing accuracy in the PL, 79.6% in the opposition half.

Aerial duels won 62 out of 105, 59%.

Yeah, he is shit and the stats is imagined up by the club.

G'Arn!
 
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