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Losing It

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I watched the Norwich game with my daughter's (5) princess ring on my finger. She'd jammed it on just before the game started, somehow forcing it over the knuckle, and my finger immediately turned a shade of purple.

Of course, Sterling scored almost immediately so I couldn't take it off for the rest of the game. I had to cut it off seconds after the final whistle. The swelling has just gone down by tonight.

Still, I made sure we won again.
 
If we'd lost it like Maureen we'd be feigning 'losing it' as part of a scheme to simultaneously devolve ourselves from blame, and ensure we get maximum credit for anything that goes right, whilst also making our wives wear a mask of our own face when we shag them.

isn't that what woland does for a living?
 
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