If the problem is as widespread as stated, isn't the solution to a lot of these issues actually educating our sons and daughters?
1) Ensure our sons respect themselves and respect women, and don't got around sleeping with 1000s of women (a sickness of today's culture where such behaviours are celebrated), especially any person who may be impaired by alcohol/drugs.
2) Ensure our daughters respect themselves, and understand the nature/danger of men, by not trying their best to avoid putting themselves in a scenario where a man can do them harm.
I dislike point 2. It's education for the boys to try and tame their libido, but the girls get "avoid dark alleys and talking to strangers".
No, it's entirely a male education issue
I try to teach my kids the 'same' message re: strangers or dangerous areas etc ...
I'm sure you do too ...
I try to relay the same message to my kids, but some messages need to be stressed more to my sons than to your daughters (and the flip side is true too).
True, but I know a bulk of the energy and time should be spent teaching my son. Both will get taught safety when out, he'll be taught not to be a cunt
Yes - agree re: boys ... but that means we have to teach our girls to stay the fuck away from 'the cunts' as they'll always exist, no matter how well some of us try to keep our boys solid, good folk
Just because you don't take adequate care to not be attacked, doesn't mean that the blame should not be on the person who attacks. Sure, people should definitely be taught to avoid dangerous situations, absolutely. It's still the fault of the person that makes the situation dangerous though. If you were to decide on where to focus the education, you should spend 90% of your time on the attackers.
But I'll also tell my lad to stay away from the cunts. More often than not if someone's willing to rape they're willing to fight.
The importance is teaching the lads not to be cunts. The type that fight when they've had a drink, the type that can't control their anger, the manipulative rapist scumbags.
Just because you don't take adequate care to not be attacked, doesn't mean that the blame should not be on the person who attacks. Sure, people should definitely be taught to avoid dangerous situations, absolutely. It's still the fault of the person that makes the situation dangerous though. If you were to decide on where to focus the education, you should spend 90% of your time on the attackers.
I dislike point 2. It's education for the boys to try and tame their libido, but the girls get "avoid dark alleys and talking to strangers".
No, it's entirely a male education issue
I dislike point 2. It's education for the boys to try and tame their libido, but the girls get "avoid dark alleys and talking to strangers".
No, it's entirely a male education issue
I disagree. This is dangerous thinking, in my opinion. I'm genuinely in shock when people say things like this. Like LTW says, you'd educate any person to avoid dark alleys, especially people who are less likely to be able to defend themselves in such scenarios! It's OKAY to acknowledge that women need to take more precautions where they go, and with whom, than men.
No. Women should know what might happen if they're with a wrongun, and you ain't teaching a wrongun anything.
It's not an education issue at all. There isn't an obvious point of failure in the system either. You can't prove this without doubt. You can't convict unless you're certain.
Mendy is a sex case but unless he gets caught with his pants down, he's free to be one.
As you missed the point I made, where both men and women should be taught the common sense aspect; as men who rape are also likely to be violent as well (against any gender). whereas a lot more intense education needs to go in to men regarding consent, as it's (a majority of the time), men who rape, or struggle with the concept of consent
Totally agreeAs you missed the point I made, where both men and women should be taught the common sense aspect; as men who rape are also likely to be violent as well (against any gender). whereas a lot more intense education needs to go in to men regarding consent, as it's (a majority of the time), men who rape, or struggle with the concept of consent
It's not an education thing. It's all we ever hear about. Some men are just rapey
As you missed the point I made, where both men and women should be taught the common sense aspect; as men who rape are also likely to be violent as well (against any gender). whereas a lot more intense education needs to go in to men regarding consent, as it's (a majority of the time), men who rape, or struggle with the concept of consent
I understand and disagree. Yes we don't live in a utopian society and there will always be evil. But I'll be damned if i just accept it.I agree men need to hold other men accountable. Fathers doing so with sons. I think you'll only get such education with strong family structures, which I'm not sure is better done in a liberal or conservative household. Probably a balance of both.
But we also have to accept that the world is an unfair and evil place, at times. The fact the inequality exists, means you're always going to have a breakdown of the family structure, which means you'll get crazed men out there, who weren't raised in the same manner you and I may have been.
As a person of colour, I am well aware that I cannot dress however I want without people making assumptions, or even travel to wherever I want; not even in the UK. My parents had "the talk" with me about how to interact with police when I was young, and a large part of that was to avoid getting yourself in trouble, but also to dress and act a certain way, because like it or not, I've come to understand that it matters when you are out in the cold, harsh world.
Similarly, in a perfect world, everyone has educated their sons, and our daughters should have nothing to worry about. But that's not reality. Therefore, one must take extra steps to both protect and educate the most vulnerable. This isn't about victim blaming. No, it's about educating our daughters about the fact that evil men do exist, so she takes steps to reduce her chances of encountering one of them (however large/small; there are no guarantees). We do this so that there's less chance of them becoming victims in the first place, so no cunt on a forum can "blame" them.
I understand and disagree. Yes we don't live in a utopian society and there will always be evil. But I'll be damned if i just accept it.
To focus on this bit; we've heard from someone in this thread who knows a victim, and has clearly said they're not doing it for the money. And yet there's still the belief that a majority of these girls are doing it for money. It's that culture which allows rapists to get away with it. It's that attitude which cultivates rape culture.
I think the money thing is only when the accused is a celeb/sportsperson of some kind. People don't generally say that the average women accusing the average man of rape is money-motivated.
It's only when it's a sportsman or celeb where that's levelled at women. And heh, you are might be correct in that, this is what is allowing these celebs to continually get away with it, because of such thinking.
But let's hypothesise for a second and say that Mendy did in fact rape 2 women, but then 10 women come forward and say he raped them. Sure, in such a scenario, he'd be a rapist, but equally, you could also say the majority of the girls accusing him are doing it for money (jumping on a bandwagon), and they're actually harming the case of the people who actually did suffer, because it's clearly proven 8 out of 10 are lying, people will believe on the balance of probabilities that they are all lying, even if they are not.
I understand the theory that when one person is brave enough to speak out, it can lead to many others being brave enough to come forward. But the domino effect for Mendy was a little wild and in the end, there's not 1 charge that's stuck on the man.
See I think the opposite. Logically if a lot of girls come out, odds are stacked that he's definitely raped some, if not all. The problem is the legal grey areas of he said/she said. And without tangible evidence, it's impossible to prove.
I 100% believe that he is a rapist.
From a guardian article.
Jurors in the rape trial of Manchester City footballer Benjamin Mendy have been told to question the credibility of their accusers. Lisa Wilding KC, in her closing defence speech on behalf of Mendy’s friend and co-accused, Louis Saha Matturie, highlighted the evidence of one complainant, a 19-year-old woman, who told jurors from the witness box that both men had raped her. But during the 16-week trial, mobile phone video emerged of her having “enthusiastic” sex with Matturie on an occasion she claimed she was being raped. Jurors at Chester crown court were directed to find both men not guilty of those charges against her. Wilding said: “She sat in this courtroom and looked you in the eye and gave what would have, perhaps, been a compelling and convincing account of being raped multiple times by these two men. Like so many of the witnesses in this case, she is caught up in a tangled web of connections and contacts and knowledge. “Why is that important? Because of collusion. You have to consider in respect of each of the women who came to this courtroom to give evidence, is their evidence reliable? Is their evidence solid? “This case rests on the credibility of witnesses. People lie.” Two other complainants, who also knew each other, then made “remarkably similar” allegations that Matturie had raped them both while sleeping, Wilding said. Wilding cited the account of another woman, aged 23, who claimed Matturie raped her at 5.30am in Mendy’s Mercedes car while on a trip to a local garage to buy more alcohol for a party at the footballer’s house. She stayed at Mendy’s house afterwards and had sex with three other men, and as she stepped out of the gates at Mendy’s mansion at 10.03am, sent a text to a friend saying “Hahaha I have slept with Jack Grealish,” the jury heard. Such behaviour was “inconsistent” with an allegation of rape, Wilding said. Her case was “inextricably linked” to that of a 17-year-old who alleges she was raped twice by both Mendy and Matturie the same night, it is alleged. Wilding said the allegation against Matturie, that he raped her in a cinema room at Mendy’s house while others were present, then went to his flat in Manchester where he raped her a second time, made “absolutely no sense”. Voice messages sent to her friends later that same day, where she called the party, the “best night of my life” were, “not a reflection of someone who has been raped,” Wilding added.
https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news...e-trial-told-to-question-accusers-credibility
Make of it what you want
Clearly in the case of those girls the case fell apart. What about the others? It's also easy to say in one of those instances because there's video that she wasn't raped. Whos to say he didn't rape her that same evening? Whos to say Mendy didn't rape her still, as that video only shows his friend having sex with her.
It's easy to twist and change the narrative in some cases when you have all the money in the world, and it's a crime with a statistically low conviction rate