I will say outside of this scenario body cams on officers are a good send for he said she said and once you advise you see recording everything changes in a heartbeat. I’ve had teams use them for years.
Mendy not guilty
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That's the thing, lots of us of have had sex with our fair share of women. Not all of us have expected that anyone coming into our home was guaranteed sex. Of course, I agree that there are gold diggers out there, and nobody coming to my place was there for gold, but if you are systematically funnelling young women into your house for sex, then that's a whole different scenario. Some women will say no. Not for a future payday. Cos they didn't fancy it.
I have questioned my own sanity in this thread after reading your responses.
Like "Did I really say that?". "How can someone infer such a thing, like we're victim blaming, based on the fact that a man was found not guilty and I believe him". So yes, you have actually been gaslighting.
But heh, I'm not going to respond to you after this post, because life is too short and you appear to be too emotionally invested in this topic, even going so far as bringing your own daughter into a hypothetical situation.
I can't debate with you on hypotheticals and how disgusted you feel reading our responses.
Once we start talking about our feelings, it's really a debate into the abyss.
Here's an example of what we're talking about:
Woman charged with fraud in Neymar rape case
https://www.bbc.com/news/world-latin-america-49656582
Woman charged with fraud in Neymar rape case
https://www.bbc.com/news/world-latin-america-49656582
You really think this is the same thing Modo?
Not specifically the Mendy case, no. But what it shows is that women aren't always that innocent.
So did I gaslight you? Or do you use a word you didn't understand? There's one answer.
Who the fuck is arguing women are always innocent? No fucking body.
Exactly my point. As soon as you inform someone they are being recorded, they change up their behaviour quickly.
You might not be touching them, but they can be screaming to high heaven that you're assaulting them, so the neighbours can hear and think to call the police.
But if you tell them they are being recorded, all of a sudden they stop. It's an amazing pacifier.
Maybe we're just in different circles, but unfortunately, I've met (and heard of) a few women who have had mental health issues, or poor upbringings, and they are prone to bending the truth on matters. So I think going forward, many more men will start to take steps to protect themselves (so we can all see the truth).
Imagine going to a woman's house, as you suggested. Nah. For me, that's too risky, unless she's your actual partner. Hell, she could even hire guys to rob you and set you up. I've seen crimewatch cases where this has happened.
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That's what I'm getting from your post.
None of us are saying that all women are guilty either.
You're getting from my post that all women are innocent? How? I'm saying that women are frequently manipulated into situations they didn't expect. Unlike some here, I do not think a woman going to a footballer's house for a party is saying someone will fuck me. That appears to be accepted by a bunch of posters on this forum.
Yet another gross oversimplification. Do you really think the jury gave a not guilty verdict based on your one sentence precise of what happened? It was a lot more convoluted. It doesn't mean he didn't rape them or that they aren't gold diggers, just that as I said it really isn't provable however on the weight of the evidence the jury quickly (almost record time) decided there was no case to answer.
Do yourself a favour and go and read up a little on it. It was not a one way street as you seem to be suggesting. And yet again you're conflating the Mendy case with every other party/footballer. Why is that?
I’ve met many many ‘unstable women’ but in those situations I become someone they can talk to and feel safe with and sex is off the table.
Maybe thats the issue. I don’t see women as just an object to fuck and never did even in my younger days. Sure I went out like any lad hoping to pull but it wasn’t the be all and end all. Granted I was finished dating by the time Tinder rolled around so who knows it’s probably all changed now.
I'd imagine 95% of us on here were done dating by the time tinder came around.
I’d also imagine if you felt the need to set up a video camera in your lounge to protect yourself against random woman that you met via a dating app and brought home for casual sex going mental… there’s a few questions you should be asking yourself about your life choices and needs.
If you think that’s being smart there’s probably a whole host of other questions that need asking and answered.
Call me old fashioned and all that…. but wouldn’t you just be a bit more selective and less needy for sex?
If you think that’s being smart there’s probably a whole host of other questions that need asking and answered.
Call me old fashioned and all that…. but wouldn’t you just be a bit more selective and less needy for sex?
If I was filthy rich and wanted to fool around , I would inform the gold diggers that my whole house is wired up and cameras up every angle and corner with a time stamp so any false claim of rape could be easily thrown out of the window. The same cameras are protected them from any misbehaviour on my part so a win win consent and contract signed.
They also have to have valid documents that they are over the legal age and show it on camera.
They also have to have valid documents that they are over the legal age and show it on camera.
I thought you were going to say you've experienced it or known someone that had. Odd thing to bring up if you've just seen it on TV. I've seen cases of people getting murdered and put in suitcases on TV... I don't let it alter my world view.
I agree that women all too regularly find themselves in situations they feel uncomfortable and / or afraid in and it sucks that this is the world we live in.
In terms of the bolded bit, it's a tricky one because the argument skates a little too close to "look at what she was wearing, she was asking for it"... but... male or female, we have to assess certain situations to determine whether they are safe. When it comes to celebrities, people are often so keen to be involved that they end up in situations doing things that they normally wouldn't.
And unfortunately shitbags will take advantage of that to varying degrees of predatoriness.
I don't know how to put it, but I feel like many times we just forget about accountability.
These are adult women.
Yes, in an ideal world you should be able to go to a stranger's house at 10 PM on a weekend and just play Yatzy. But if the guy is Mendy and you're woman no 5367, you kinda should know what's going on in that house?
I know people have been set up and robbed at knife point.
I don't know people have been set up and murdered personally, but that's likely because they don't fight back when they're in such a situation.
So yeah, for me, it does alter my world view. It's not wise to be going over to women's houses unless you really know them well.
I think you've made an assumption that a camera in your lounge can be just used for setting up hookups. That's one usecase, and heh, if a young man wants be partake in the current hookup culture FAD (he's doing so with eager, willing women), sure I can advise him he should do better as a young man, but I am also realistic and tell him to be careful inviting random women over, because you never know which psycho you're going to meet along the way (it only takes 1 to ruin your life; you may very well have 99 other smooth experiences). In the real world, the current dating market is filled with people (men & women) who's life choices & needs you might not personally agree with. That doesn't mean you can't advise them both to do better and understand that it's smart to take steps to protect yourself. It's no different to telling someone, don't have sex until you're 18, but if you do decide to have sex, to use protection because you don't know what diseases are out there. So yeah, a man should probably takes steps & precautions, as should a woman who is going to visit a man. (She should tell a friend exactly where she's going, who's she meeting, check in with them periodically, hell, take self-defense spray, even if necessary).
Moreover, like I said, that's just one potential use case of a camera in your lounge. It can be used to ensure a hired cleaner doesn't steal from you or to monitor your kids. It can also be used to protect yourself accusations even from your own spouse. Someone I know found himself in a physically/mentally abusive relationship with his missus. When they split up, the woman made all sorts of accusations against him. Now I don't know exactly what happened, no one does, but I do know the women seemed a bit strange whenever I met them both. But guess who the court/three judges believed when the waterworks came out and a child was on the line in their custody hearing? I bet my guy had wished he had some video evidence then (of the amount of times she "apparently" attacked & swore at him in their own house; but no one will ever know) and he now has to book sessions to see his child with a counsellor present because somehow they believe he's manipulative & abusive, despite having never ever being convicted of committing any crime.
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Adult women that agree to go to a party, but that doesnt mean that they agree to or have the intention to have sex. Thats a very weird thing to say that one is a definitive for the other.
https://www.ucl.ac.uk/news/2023/feb/juries-convict-defendants-rape-more-often-acquit
Women generally get better outcomes when it goes to trial.
But like I said previously, I do agree that most rapists get away with it because it never gets to trial, especially in countries outside of the "first world". There, it is rampant, as law & order doesn't exist.
And as such, I advise my sisters to take extreme precaution when meeting up with men they're meeting for the first time on these dating apps. Even if they've gone on 2 or 3 dates previously and think he's a nice fella, I want to know his name, age, occupation and address, and whether you've told him you're a Christian who doesn't believe in sex before marriage. (which usually sorts the wheat from the chaff).
But I also know we live in a world where both men and women lie about their intentions.
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This is a slippery slope - yes I advise my daughter not to be out alone at night and not to go to random guys houses, but the above philosophy very quickly turns into "she was asking for it" and, as I said before, victim blaming. Obviously I don't think that is what you mean Modo, but there are loads of people who would pick up this argument and use it to blame the victim & excuse the aggressor.
Absolutely, if it's the way you're describing it, sure. But it's not really that kind of party and they know it. I also believe that no one is forcing them to stay.
About 1 in 70 actually get to trial. So you could say this was the one in seventy rape cases the police and cps actually believed theyd get a result in. But as the judge said, if there's any doubt whatsoever you can't convict.
The good side of that is that hardly any men will ever be wrongfully convicted. The terrible side is that this case makes the point that if a girl goes back to someone's house, no matter how many of them it happens to, if she and others are raped in similar circumstances, no matter how probable that makes it that a dude is systematically abusing them, then sorry, there is no justice for you.
Exactly and I'm definitely not victim blaming here, but it'll sound like it whichever way I put it.
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