Brendan's still banned, we're gonna save the site and we squeezed back into the champions League. Now we just need to huddle round the campfire for a player we probably won't sign and then we can be just like the old times.
Let's review all the players shall we. It's the last appropriate bit of football chat until we see Tsimikas do well in preseason and proclaim him like a new signing.
Ali - 8.5
He made a couple of mistakes im sure, but overall he's calm, assured and way better than anyone else we've had in goal since games were in black and white. Without him we'd struggle, as we see every time we have to play Adrian.
Adrian - 4.5
Good cheerleader, shit keeper. Say no more.
Kelleher - 6
Had a good debut game or two then went off the radar. Hopefully more chances to impress next season.
Trent - 8
Imagine giving the best RB in the world a summer off. Southgate is an idiot but his loss is our gain. Trent started slow, injuries and covid making him look like a passenger, but in the last months he's been one of our best players and we can't do without him. Also the Scouser in our team.
Neco - 5
Not good enough, or at least not yet. We need him to be better or to find someone who can be able to feature against the Newcastle's of this league.
Virg - 10
He gets a ten for going out to run through the pain every time we lost so the social media team could post cheer-up content.
Gomez/Matip - 6
Interchangably annoying injury problems mean neither are reliable. We shouldn't rely on them again.
Nat King - 10
Honestly who can begrudge him the fairytale. The headed king, the Kirkby kisser, Zidane's idol and everyone's hero journey. Practically the only reason we finished 3rd was the magnet head of this unexpected icon.
Rhys - 7
He gets the good enough grade for these last few games, clean sheets, and improving every week. He's not good enough yet, but he got us over the line.
Kabak - 6.5
Wouldn't complain if he stayed but we can do better. So we should. Filled a hole.
Davies - 0
Worse than Ilori. Hasn't even played for the reserves!
Robbo - 8.5
Down by his usual standards, our LB version of Dirk Kuyt and less ugly was the only one to make all 38 league games for us. Dependable like Milner he was off the boil at times and we need better backup to give him rest. Still, he's one of the best LBs we've ever seen and he remains that level of quality we need to win the league again.
Tsimikas - 0
Worst signing of the season for us, raising the question of 'what was the fucking point'. He's not even good looking or interesting enough to be a social media darling like Ox.
Fabinho - 9.5
Our shiny headed rock was a monster back in midfield. Who knows how high we could have finished if Klopp got over his blind spot sooner and just kept the world's best DM in position. Hope he gets his new deal soon, let's not let him Gini away.
Thiago - 7
He came expecting to win stuff and he took a while to show he is capable of lifting the team. Tried to do too much at first and then of course got crocked by that bitter cunt. Next season there should be much more to come. Being left out of both Madrid games may have been the kick up his ass he needed.
Hendo - 7
We always miss him when he can't play. Off the pitch he was incredible for us in another tough season, but he misses too many games to get a higher score.
Milner - 7
Milner always gets a 7. It's just what he does.
Gini - 7
His Brexit midfield slowness was the symptom not the cause of our slowdown from December to March, as like all our players, he hit a big wall. He's done so much for us and he will be missed, but this was not his greatest season. Still showed many moments of top class.
Jones - 6.5
Didn't kick on as much as it looked like he would which is a shame. We all want him to succeed but he needs to find consistency and add greater impact to games on a regular basis. I hope he can become the fourth midfielder next season but Klopp doesn't fully trust him yet.
Keita - 0
I'm not even getting started.
Salah - 8.5
It's a difficult score to give him. Top scorer but guilty of missing so many chances to win games (Madrid will haunt me). Still, I hope he never leaves and beats every scoring record. Maybe we need him more than he needs us. Two years on his deal and no hint of a renewal.
Bobby - 6.5
He woke up near the end of the season but it was too late to reignite our dying title hopes. He needs more competition, since Origi is pointless. A poor season by all of his standards.
Mane - 6.5
Scored some important goals, but what a fall from grace! If he is not an automatic starter next season he can have no complaints. I do love him though, even if his star is waning. 2 years left for him too and suddenly he looks the most expendable.
Jota - 8
For his surprise impact, he gets the second highest rating of our forwards. What a player he could be for us. Scores in big games, adds a new dimension, and overall our best signing since Allison. Here's to seeing what he can do next season.
Shaqiri - 4
One great pass to Salah against West Ham, and one great pass to Jota, also against West Ham. Too ugly to be a cheerleader, his time is done.
Ox - 3
One great goal and a bunch of social media content. Almost useless. Contributes less than Lallana ever did.
Origi - 0
One terrible miss against Burnley was the sole memorable contribution to this mess of a season. We need better.
Did I miss anyone?
Let's review all the players shall we. It's the last appropriate bit of football chat until we see Tsimikas do well in preseason and proclaim him like a new signing.
Ali - 8.5
He made a couple of mistakes im sure, but overall he's calm, assured and way better than anyone else we've had in goal since games were in black and white. Without him we'd struggle, as we see every time we have to play Adrian.
Adrian - 4.5
Good cheerleader, shit keeper. Say no more.
Kelleher - 6
Had a good debut game or two then went off the radar. Hopefully more chances to impress next season.
Trent - 8
Imagine giving the best RB in the world a summer off. Southgate is an idiot but his loss is our gain. Trent started slow, injuries and covid making him look like a passenger, but in the last months he's been one of our best players and we can't do without him. Also the Scouser in our team.
Neco - 5
Not good enough, or at least not yet. We need him to be better or to find someone who can be able to feature against the Newcastle's of this league.
Virg - 10
He gets a ten for going out to run through the pain every time we lost so the social media team could post cheer-up content.
Gomez/Matip - 6
Interchangably annoying injury problems mean neither are reliable. We shouldn't rely on them again.
Nat King - 10
Honestly who can begrudge him the fairytale. The headed king, the Kirkby kisser, Zidane's idol and everyone's hero journey. Practically the only reason we finished 3rd was the magnet head of this unexpected icon.
Rhys - 7
He gets the good enough grade for these last few games, clean sheets, and improving every week. He's not good enough yet, but he got us over the line.
Kabak - 6.5
Wouldn't complain if he stayed but we can do better. So we should. Filled a hole.
Davies - 0
Worse than Ilori. Hasn't even played for the reserves!
Robbo - 8.5
Down by his usual standards, our LB version of Dirk Kuyt and less ugly was the only one to make all 38 league games for us. Dependable like Milner he was off the boil at times and we need better backup to give him rest. Still, he's one of the best LBs we've ever seen and he remains that level of quality we need to win the league again.
Tsimikas - 0
Worst signing of the season for us, raising the question of 'what was the fucking point'. He's not even good looking or interesting enough to be a social media darling like Ox.
Fabinho - 9.5
Our shiny headed rock was a monster back in midfield. Who knows how high we could have finished if Klopp got over his blind spot sooner and just kept the world's best DM in position. Hope he gets his new deal soon, let's not let him Gini away.
Thiago - 7
He came expecting to win stuff and he took a while to show he is capable of lifting the team. Tried to do too much at first and then of course got crocked by that bitter cunt. Next season there should be much more to come. Being left out of both Madrid games may have been the kick up his ass he needed.
Hendo - 7
We always miss him when he can't play. Off the pitch he was incredible for us in another tough season, but he misses too many games to get a higher score.
Milner - 7
Milner always gets a 7. It's just what he does.
Gini - 7
His Brexit midfield slowness was the symptom not the cause of our slowdown from December to March, as like all our players, he hit a big wall. He's done so much for us and he will be missed, but this was not his greatest season. Still showed many moments of top class.
Jones - 6.5
Didn't kick on as much as it looked like he would which is a shame. We all want him to succeed but he needs to find consistency and add greater impact to games on a regular basis. I hope he can become the fourth midfielder next season but Klopp doesn't fully trust him yet.
Keita - 0
I'm not even getting started.
Salah - 8.5
It's a difficult score to give him. Top scorer but guilty of missing so many chances to win games (Madrid will haunt me). Still, I hope he never leaves and beats every scoring record. Maybe we need him more than he needs us. Two years on his deal and no hint of a renewal.
Bobby - 6.5
He woke up near the end of the season but it was too late to reignite our dying title hopes. He needs more competition, since Origi is pointless. A poor season by all of his standards.
Mane - 6.5
Scored some important goals, but what a fall from grace! If he is not an automatic starter next season he can have no complaints. I do love him though, even if his star is waning. 2 years left for him too and suddenly he looks the most expendable.
Jota - 8
For his surprise impact, he gets the second highest rating of our forwards. What a player he could be for us. Scores in big games, adds a new dimension, and overall our best signing since Allison. Here's to seeing what he can do next season.
Shaqiri - 4
One great pass to Salah against West Ham, and one great pass to Jota, also against West Ham. Too ugly to be a cheerleader, his time is done.
Ox - 3
One great goal and a bunch of social media content. Almost useless. Contributes less than Lallana ever did.
Origi - 0
One terrible miss against Burnley was the sole memorable contribution to this mess of a season. We need better.
Did I miss anyone?
