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Laughing my fffffffffffucking arse orf.

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By ROB BEASLEY, 13/06/2009

MICHAEL OWEN has sent a glossy 34- page brochure about HIMSELF to eight Premier League clubs in a desperate attempt to find a new team for next season.

It is believed to be the first time in Premier League history that a player has produced his own prospectus to prompt a transfer.


The one-time golden boy of English football and former European Footballer of the Year has been reduced to hawking himself around after suffering the ignominy of relegation with Newcastle.


The brochure - circulated by Owen's management company Wasserman Media Group - has been sent to eight top-flight clubs, including Aston Villa, Everton, Portsmouth and West Ham.


In it, WMG boast about the benefits of signing the ex-England striker, his clean-cut image, commercial value and goalscoring prowess and include a medical report.


The brochure rivals any produced by top-end estate agents to advertise multi-million mansions.


Just imagine, folks - For Sale: A magnificent, luxury two-legged footballer, set on a picturesque plot in the North East of England.


Backs on to racecourse (at every opportunity). High maintenance, but must be seen to be appreciated. £80,000 per week, or nearest offer, subject to contract.


But WMG have dropped a brick in trying to allay fears about the 29-year-old's injury-prone record.



The sales details state Owen, who signed for Newcastle in a £16m move from Real Madrid four years ago, has appeared in 77 per cent of the Toon's games in the last two years.


But that's a bit of a sales clanger considering Mike Ashley's Magpies have suffered the shame of dropping out of the Premier League despite Owen's involvement.


Sam Rush, WMG's chief operating officer, explained the brochure, saying: "Although there's been interest from abroad, Michael told us he'd prefer to stay in the Prem.


"So after the season ended, we prepared a document showing all the information an interested club would require and this was circulated to a select group.



RELEGATED - Toon owner Mike Ashley
"We have provided a complete analysis of every Newcastle first-team game in the previous two years, knowing that Michael had appeared in 77 per cent of them.


"We also included a medical report and answers to frequently-asked questions, as well as a review of his commercial benefits and international name awareness.


"Our aim is to ensure Michael secures the most appropriate career move before the end of the transfer window."


Owen's current four-year £105,000-a-week Toon deal ends at the end of this month, so he would be available to any prospective buyer on a free. Everton, Villa, Tottenham and Manchester City are the leading contenders ready to offer Owen a fresh start.


But he has been dogged by hamstring and groin problems since he left Liverpool five years ago and has started just 58 league matches for Newcastle.


He was ruled out for five months after breaking his metatarsal in December 2005; then in June 2006 he tore his anterior cruciate ligament in the World Cup and his knee was rebuilt by world-famous surgeon Dr Richard Steadman.


Horse-lover Owen makes no secret of the fact he wants to become a trainer and owner at his Cheshire stables when he hangs up his boots.
 
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Oh Mikey..

Agents offer Michael Owen to clubs with help of 34-page brochure
• Striker would be 'priceless' but for injury and Real Madrid spell
• Former England international wants to play in Premier League

guardian.co.uk, Sunday 14 June 2009 01.43 BST
Article history

Michael Owen's management company has been shopping their client to various clubs with the help of a 34-page brochure that talks up the Newcastle striker.

In the document, Wasserman Media Group says: "Were it not for an unhappy spell at Real Madrid and two injury-scarred years at Newcastle, he would be spoken about in the same breath as Torres and Ronaldo and valued in the priceless figures that only match-winning goalscorers ever justify."

Owen is out of contract on 30 June and available as a free agent. The Wasserman brochure, reported in the Sunday Mirror, reveals the player would prefer to stay in the Premier League. It says that, in choosing his next move, Owen "is about to make the biggest decision of his football career", and explains that the 29-year-old is "good looking" and "charismatic".

Sam Rush, the group's chief operating officer, said: "As one of the world's leading sports agencies, Wasserman regularly utilise comprehensive documentation and audiovisual material to illustrate the benefits of our clients."

He's not a very charismatic guy at all, is he?

I say we save him..
 
This is my contribution to this week's 'let's all take the piss out of one of Liverpool's alltime greatest goalscorers' thread:

I don't need a brochure to convince me he's still worthy of a place in our squad.
 
It really is a great mystery why Michael has made such shockingly awful decisions when it comes to his representatives. He's a decent lad from a decent family, yet time and again he's signed up with some of the shabbiest agents and PR people in the business.
 
[quote author=leftpeg link=topic=34153.msg887800#msg887800 date=1244978902]
This is my contribution to this week's 'let's all take the piss out of one of Liverpool's alltime greatest goalscorers' thread:

I don't need a brochure to convince me he's still worthy of a place in our squad.
[/quote]

Yeah, does it say how good he is at running down contracts?
 
If he doesnt mind sitting on the bench, then yeah I don't mind bringing him back.

He's still a much better scoring option than Ngog or El Zhar.
 
If I was Owen, I would truly feel embarrassed by the latest, in a long line of utterly ridiculous stunts by his so called management.
 
He should have just asked to train with Liverpool or even the toon for that matter in this off season. Offers would have come.

I'm sure Rafa and Liverpool would have gladly offered him the opportunity to train at this club. He has been a great player for us. If he had left on better terms, not many would argue that he was a legend for this football club.

He has made a fool of himself, by doing this.
 
Looks like Fiorentina are looking at him.

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Michael Owen Open To Fiorentina Switch – Report

With the Newcastle United forward in search of a new club, a move to the Viola would certainly be of interest to him…

Following reports that Michael Owen’s agent has sent out a brochure to a number of clubs to highlight his client’s abilities, it now appears Florence is a possible destination for the player who has been lacking a vast number of admirers in recent years.

According to British tabloid The S**, Owen would welcome a switch to the Viola, despite the fact a move to Italy would almost certainly mean a drop in income.

Although he has an impressive CV that includes the 2001 Ballon d’Or, it is incredible how quickly Owen has fallen off the radar since he signed for Real Madrid in 2004.

With Fiorentina seemingly well equipped in the forward department, it is actually extremely unlikely that the Della Valle family would be interested in making an offer for the 29-year-old former Liverpool striker.

Another case of don't believe what you read in the tabloids, then.

Stefano Federici, Goal.com
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Or not...who takes time to write this bullshit!!
 
[quote author=Terrier link=topic=34153.msg887900#msg887900 date=1244987673]
If I was Owen, I would truly feel embarrassed by the latest, in a long line of utterly ridiculous stunts by his so called management.
[/quote]

This sort of thing is common in baseball where the biggest agent, Scott Boras, is well known for putting together folders on his clients which get distributed to teams when the player is available. I'm guessing Owen's agent copied him.

I think it's safe to presume their wasn't a huge amount of interest in Owen.
 
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