Given the difficulty of being England manager - "The Impossible Job" - coupled with a laughably inglorious and ill-starred managerial career to date, it's all too easy to mock Gareth Southgate.
So let's get to it.
It seems weird that, even by the wildly varying standards of recruitment for the role, he is actually England manager. He's only ever had one job outside of the England cocoon, and that ended up with teh sack, after getting relegated with Middlesbrough.
But if your predecessor was Roy fucking Hodgson, then I suppose anything is possible.
However, what were the criteria involved in deciding this mewling, mealy-mouthed yes man was the right choice? And, inadvertently, I've answered my own question; he's a mewling, mealy-mouthed yes man, who has read a handful of middle-management business books, and as such, is considered some kind of fucking intellectual.
I used to enjoy taking the piss out of Brendan Rodgers for his risible attempts at 2005-era, public sector middle-manager-attempting-to ape-corporate language-with-shit-PowerPoint charts (which made him seem even stupider than he actually is) but I fear Gareth Cheeseman is on his way to surpassing even that (and let's not forget Rodgers has actually enjoyed some success and achievement as a manager)
Cheeseman doesn't even attempt to talk like a normal human being.
"I was having some interactions with Julen Loptegui.."
What? You mean you were talking to him? Cunt.
"We’ve always relied on one or two of those individuals. Now we’ve got to think about a collective."
A fucking "collective". You hapless fucking whopper.
"The questions around us principally come down to character, the essential ability to withstand events that go against you. I have to focus on the actions of the team coming back from adversity. In more general terms it is decision making under pressure, calmness, focus and that applies across the board.....we have to avoid conceding free-kicks"
It's about adversity, character, calmness and focus...but actually mainly about giving away free-kicks.
I fucking hate him. Bellend Cheeseman Whopper cunt.
So let's get to it.
It seems weird that, even by the wildly varying standards of recruitment for the role, he is actually England manager. He's only ever had one job outside of the England cocoon, and that ended up with teh sack, after getting relegated with Middlesbrough.
But if your predecessor was Roy fucking Hodgson, then I suppose anything is possible.
However, what were the criteria involved in deciding this mewling, mealy-mouthed yes man was the right choice? And, inadvertently, I've answered my own question; he's a mewling, mealy-mouthed yes man, who has read a handful of middle-management business books, and as such, is considered some kind of fucking intellectual.
I used to enjoy taking the piss out of Brendan Rodgers for his risible attempts at 2005-era, public sector middle-manager-attempting-to ape-corporate language-with-shit-PowerPoint charts (which made him seem even stupider than he actually is) but I fear Gareth Cheeseman is on his way to surpassing even that (and let's not forget Rodgers has actually enjoyed some success and achievement as a manager)
Cheeseman doesn't even attempt to talk like a normal human being.
"I was having some interactions with Julen Loptegui.."
What? You mean you were talking to him? Cunt.
"We’ve always relied on one or two of those individuals. Now we’ve got to think about a collective."
A fucking "collective". You hapless fucking whopper.
"The questions around us principally come down to character, the essential ability to withstand events that go against you. I have to focus on the actions of the team coming back from adversity. In more general terms it is decision making under pressure, calmness, focus and that applies across the board.....we have to avoid conceding free-kicks"
It's about adversity, character, calmness and focus...but actually mainly about giving away free-kicks.
I fucking hate him. Bellend Cheeseman Whopper cunt.
