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I am Gareth Cheeseman, England Manager - Hear Me Roar!

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England has lots of good players and a very good league, with plenty of excellent sides.

That means England are often among the tournament favourites, but that doesn't mean there's any genuine expectation of winning it. The fact is that England almost always under-achieve, considering the talent and resources available, and that often IS easy to blame the manager for.

We never really employ the right kind of manager. I mean, it's difficult to find a manager who will create a mindset and tactical set up that will sustain success, ala Germany or Spain, but we put yes men in charge of qualifiers and they usually do well enough (Southgate, Hodgson, Eriksson), but then when it comes to a tournament we lack someone as vocal and able to rouse team spirit, like a Venables. We usually fall flat on our faces when we get to a competition because no one wants to take charge and lead us, for fear or being the scapegoat if it goes tits up, no one takes responsibility. As shown by that comical last press conference from that cowardly cunt, Hodgson.
 
As a 'neutral' who often finds himself cheering on England at the big tournos (because of the obvious Liverpool links), I really find it annoying you seem more or less incapable of hiring even a half decent manager.

You may not have the best of squads at the moment but at Int. level you still have more than enough to compete. Build a homogenous team around Kane and Alli and you'd instantly have a competitive squad for years to come.

Look at Portugal with their one star player and loads of water carriers to boot. You have two, albeit not exactly Ronaldo class, but still two very talented young players with a potential marvellous future ahead of them. Then add the always upcoming talents and you could easily be one of the teams to beat in future years.

But you really need better than the Southgates, Hodgsons or McLarens. It's all so incredible mind-boggling to watch from the outside, especially when you look at all the managerial talent in your Premier League.

Is it perhaps because your FA don't want foreigners in the seat? That would explain part of it I guess..
 
As a 'neutral' who often finds himself cheering on England at the big tournos (because of the obvious Liverpool links), I really find it annoying you seem more or less incapable of hiring even a half decent manager.

You may not have the best of squads at the moment but at Int. level you still have more than enough to compete. Build a homogenous team around Kane and Alli and you'd instantly have a competitive squad for years to come.

Look at Portugal with their one star player and loads of water carriers to boot. You have two, albeit not exactly Ronaldo class, but still two very talented young players with a potential marvellous future ahead of them. Then add the always upcoming talents and you could easily be one of the teams to beat in future years.

But you really need better than the Southgates, Hodgsons or McLarens. It's all so incredible mind-boggling to watch from the outside, especially when you look at all the managerial talent in your Premier League.

Is it perhaps because your FA don't want foreigners in the seat? That would explain part of it I guess..

They've tried Johnny Foreigner before. That didn't work either.

They've tried disciplinarian, man-motivator, friend of the players, pragmatist, tactical expert and safe pair of hands. It's a cycle of failure.

Now they're trying FA-approved, cliche-spouting automaton again.
 
They've tried Johnny Foreigner before. That didn't work either.

They've tried disciplinarian, man-motivator, friend of the players, pragmatist, tactical expert and safe pair of hands. It's a cycle of failure.

Now they're trying FA-approved, cliche-spouting automaton again.
It'd be mad to try a good manager

Proper outside the box thinking, as garth would say
 
Also

Felt unerringly at ease during his prostate exam, but will never tell a soul
 
It'd be mad to try a good manager

Proper outside the box thinking, as garth would say

One of the factors has always been that the likes of Klopp, Mourinho, Ferguson, Guardiola, Benitez et al usually prefer to be club managers when they're still "in their prime", and many managers and football associations would also stick to their own nationality.

But that's ignoring the fact that the manager isn't the only factor.
 
One of the factors has always been that the likes of Klopp, Mourinho, Ferguson, Guardiola, Benitez et al usually prefer to be club managers when they're still "in their prime", and many managers and football associations would also stick to their own nationality.

But that's ignoring the fact that the manager isn't the only factor.

Well yeah, England not being shite would help too like.

We've had enough mercurial talents though to fluke a competition you would have thought though
 
It's not really a surprise that the most meh England side ever has Manager Meh and Captain Meh running things.

It's weird but maybe England Meh would have beat that side everyone thought looked half decent ten years ago.
 
Well yeah, England not being shite would help too like.

We've had enough mercurial talents though to fluke a competition you would have thought though

That last sentence isn't as flippant as it might seem. It's a big factor. But heaven forbid anyone says "we've been dead unlucky!"
 
It's not really a surprise that the most meh England side ever has Manager Meh and Captain Meh running things.

It's weird but maybe England Meh would have beat that side everyone thought looked half decent ten years ago.

Is Cheeseman still rotating the England captaincy?

Just give it to Harry Kane.
 
Henderson has it again tonight. We're through the looking glass when that guy can be Liverpool and England captain. I'm gonna apply the 'It's such a crazy plan it might just work' logic to it. Nothing else applies.
 
That last sentence isn't as flippant as it might seem. It's a big factor. But heaven forbid anyone says "we've been dead unlucky!"
Yeah there's obvious times when luck has a factor. But half the time you make your own luck. They've always been a negative side, regardless of who the manager or players are
 
Henderson has it again tonight. We're through the looking glass when that guy can be Liverpool and England captain. I'm gonna apply the 'It's such a crazy plan it might just work' logic to it. Nothing else applies.

I suppose the varying importance with which you view the importance of a captain will have an impact on this, but there's only a few types of football captain:

Leader Of Men - John Terry, Bryan Robson, Graeme Souness

Talent/ Ability - Wayne Rooney, David Beckham, Steven Gerrard

Been Around For Fucking Ages/ Old - Phil Jagielka, Michael Carrick

And there is that other category, which is "Role Model/ Clean Cut" and that's deffo Henderson. He's been touted as a future club and England captain since he was a kid at Sunderland. In some ways, he does seem a perfect England captain, but Harry Kane also scores higher on "Talent/ Ability"
 
If we had a really good manager when we had Sven I really think we could have won something (Rio, Neville, Seaman, Campbell, Terry, Scholes, Gerrard, Owen, Lampard, Cole, Rooney etc)
In 1998 under Hoddle we played brilliant football, and after Venables in 1996 we were 100% going in the right direction.
Hoddle dropped Beckham and Owen. And left a fading Gazza out. Everyone went apeshit and we played the best football ive seen England play in my lifetime (we were shit in 1986 but played a good system, and 1990 we had a few good players) Thats the only tournament I still feel aggrieved about us going out of, even though as a nation we seem to moan about all of them.

Then Sven came and the modern era of England we see now began.
Now we have neither a good manager or good players.

We coach the skill out of them.
 
These players are a lot worse technically than then golden generation who underachieved getting to a few quarter finals. So it's not surprising to see the current players struggle so much and bore us to tears. when you factor in the really weak mentality / pressure, these players will struggle further.
 
If we had a really good manager when we had Sven I really think we could have won something (Rio, Neville, Seaman, Campbell, Terry, Scholes, Gerrard, Owen, Lampard, Cole, Rooney etc)
In 1998 under Hoddle we played brilliant football, and after Venables in 1996 we were 100% going in the right direction.
Hoddle dropped Beckham and Owen. And left a fading Gazza out. Everyone went apeshit and we played the best football ive seen England play in my lifetime (we were shit in 1986 but played a good system, and 1990 we had a few good players) Thats the only tournament I still feel aggrieved about us going out of, even though as a nation we seem to moan about all of them.

Then Sven came and the modern era of England we see now began.
Now we have neither a good manager or good players.

We coach the skill out of them.

If you leave out Allardyce's 100% record (!) Hoddle's win percentage is second only to Capello's (yes, I know, shows the shortcomings of stats, but there you go) in the job. It was a pity he went off the deep end with that non-football bo11ocks that got him the sack, because the job did actually suit him.
 
If you leave out Allardyce's 100% record (!) Hoddle's win percentage is second only to Capello's (yes, I know, shows the shortcomings of stats, but there you go) in the job. It was a pity he went off the deep end with that non-football bo11ocks that got him the sack, because the job did actually suit him.

He was a bit of a weirdo, that's for sure.
 
England has lots of good players and a very good league, with plenty of excellent sides.

That means England are often among the tournament favourites, but that doesn't mean there's any genuine expectation of winning it. The fact is that England almost always under-achieve, considering the talent and resources available, and that often IS easy to blame the manager for.

...and that is exactly what I mean. How many tournaments does it take for the English people to realise that they are not underachieving?
You are just not as good as you think you are.
 
Drank Earl Grey tea once by mistake in a cafe. Complained to the waitress that the cup must not have been rinsed properly.
 
You'd expect them to be in the last eight just based on how much interest and investment there is, and how many people play at a decent level. If they don't get there you can see why it's said they've underachieved.
 
...and that is exactly what I mean. How many tournaments does it take for the English people to realise that they are not underachieving?
You are just not as good as you think you are.

That's exactly what you mean?

You made a post about England fans thinking they are "world beaters" and blame the manager for everything.

I said that hardly any England fans genuinely think they can win a World Cup, or Euro, but that when England under-achieve - and by that I mean failing to get out of their group and losing to fucking Iceland - then it is fair to apportion blame and sack the manager, because England should be good enough to reach the later knock-out stages at the very least.

That's hardly delusional. Nobody in the media or the fanbase thought we'd win that competition. NOBODY.
 
Exactly. "Should" is the key word there - we know we're a long way from where we ought to be with the resources at our disposal.

Modo represents the lunatic fringe of that school of thought, but it seems he's not its only Scando adherent around here.
 
I'll bet some media person / former English footballer tipped England to win Euro 2016
 
...and that is exactly what I mean. How many tournaments does it take for the English people to realise that they are not underachieving?
You are just not as good as you think you are.
Who the fuck thinks we are good?
We were beating MALTA 1-0 until the last 3 minutes.

Nobody. NOBODY thinks we are good.
Adam Lallana has been our best player for the last 2 years!! What does that tell you.
Liverpools 4th best player is Englands best.

We are and will always be in the top 8 favourites for any tournament and thats about right. We are about the 8th best team in Europe, maybe even the world.

Thing is, its a LOOOOOONG gap between Spain, Germany, France and the rest.
 
I literally have no opinion of him. He's emptier than a pre-storm supermarket. He offers as much footballing insight as anyone who claims their 'nan would have scored that with her eyes closed' even though she's both dead and always lacked any focal dexterity
 
I'll bet some media person / former English footballer tipped England to win Euro 2016
I think the only thing worse than being an England fan and knowing you wont win shit is the rest of the world telling you that you always think youre gonna win shit.

Sucks. We suck. You suck.
 
I think the only thing worse than being an England fan and knowing you wont win shit is the rest of the world telling you that you always think youre gonna win shit.

Sucks. We suck. You suck.

Everyone seemed to tip France, Spain or Germany. Can't find one that even suggested we'd make the semi-finals.
 
I think the only thing worse than being an England fan and knowing you wont win shit is the rest of the world telling you that you always think youre gonna win shit.

Sucks. We suck. You suck.

Well, it just seems to be the usual mongs, given that nobody seems to have actually said or thought England would win.
 
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