I'm usually quite measured and analytic in my assessment of players, preferring a systemic and evidence-based approach, before giving any kind of definitive opinion, and this has served me well so far, but Emre Can defies even my scientific method.
I can't recall a player that I've been so conflicted about, almost to the point where I don't feel I could give any opinion with any confidence - and I've seen the multiple threads about him over the last few years in which there doesn't seem much consensus.
Because he's just so infuriatingly inconsistent. Not just the quality of play, but what his actual attributes are. He's been hindered by injury, and has played with lots of different players (and two managers), in various positions, so it's reasonable to suggest he hasn't been able to settle and show his best form for any length of team in a fixed position.
But it's not even that. Sometimes he looks like he can't play football. His passes are all over the place, his movement and positioning woeful, he clumps around the pitch looking like his joints are made of wood.
And then at other times he can look a genuine colossus, with more nimble feet than you might expect, real attacking threat and also making his physicality count, with ball-winning and interceptions.
And there's no rhyme or reason to it. It isn't where he's playing. Or the quality of opposition. Or even form. You simply don't know what you're going to get. He's been awful and impressive in the space of consecutive games. Sometimes even the same game.
Bewildering. It's not even what you might call a "normal" level of inconsistent and consistent displays, that evens out to an acceptable mean of competence. His form since he joined looks like a three year ECG scan of someone having the world's longest cardiac arrest.