Andy Hunter
@AHunterGuardian 56s56 seconds ago
Newcastle are trying to re-sign Jose Enrique from#LFC. Defender considering short-term deal (out of contract in summer).
DO IT ENRIQUE!!!
Deadline Day Shenanigans
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DO IT ENRIQUE!!!
If a suitable offer goes out, more like.
'suitable offer' is a tautology here.
I fucking hate this cunt. I can't even picture him wearing more than underwear these days.
Stupid sexy Enrique
@doctor_mac - whats the latest on Icardi ?
Apparently we are in for both Icardi and Koke.
James Pearce Looks like Jose Enrique will be staying put at
That'll go down nicely
My sources specialise on the Texeira deal, which is still our number one priority.
Quiffer.
Guillem Balague @GuillemBalague 6m6 minutes ago
Denis Cheryshev to Valencia on loan till end of season. Confirmed: http://futbol.as.com/m/futbol/2016/02/01/primera/1454346954_337651.html …@diarioas
Denis Cheryshev to Valencia on loan till end of season. Confirmed: http://futbol.as.com/m/futbol/2016/02/01/primera/1454346954_337651.html …
Tragic Manchester United Fan Actually Believes Neymar Transfer Rumour
February 1, 2016
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A SERIES of increasingly tragic events have played out in the home of one Manchester United fan this transfer deadline day, WWN has learned.
Simon Doran, a physiotherapist based in Dublin, has remained glued to his television set operating under the impression that it is only a matter of time before Barcelona forward Neymar’s €110 million transfer to Manchester United is announced.
“My heart is jumping out of my chest, honestly, we’re actually not that far off the top of the table either, and Neymar will give us that boost we need to secure the league title,” Simon explained, in full belief his outlandish claims were making sense.
The 26-year-old’s family has found the recent transfer deadline day delusions hard to deal with.
“For all intents and purposes, Simon looks and acts like Simon but he is utterly detached from reality. Once the subject steers towards football, he starts drooling and discussing the joy that Neymar will bring to Old Trafford,” Michael Doran, Simon’s father explained.
“I knew something was wrong when he said the move would revitalise Rooney. He’s just not all there anymore,” a concerned Michael added.
Simon is expected to watch Sky Sports News for the next 12 hours before falling into catatonic shock when Neymar’s move fails to materialise.
February 1, 2016
905SHARES
Tweet on Twitter
Share on Facebook
0Add Comment
A SERIES of increasingly tragic events have played out in the home of one Manchester United fan this transfer deadline day, WWN has learned.
Simon Doran, a physiotherapist based in Dublin, has remained glued to his television set operating under the impression that it is only a matter of time before Barcelona forward Neymar’s €110 million transfer to Manchester United is announced.
“My heart is jumping out of my chest, honestly, we’re actually not that far off the top of the table either, and Neymar will give us that boost we need to secure the league title,” Simon explained, in full belief his outlandish claims were making sense.
The 26-year-old’s family has found the recent transfer deadline day delusions hard to deal with.
“For all intents and purposes, Simon looks and acts like Simon but he is utterly detached from reality. Once the subject steers towards football, he starts drooling and discussing the joy that Neymar will bring to Old Trafford,” Michael Doran, Simon’s father explained.
“I knew something was wrong when he said the move would revitalise Rooney. He’s just not all there anymore,” a concerned Michael added.
Simon is expected to watch Sky Sports News for the next 12 hours before falling into catatonic shock when Neymar’s move fails to materialise.
I found myself unintentionally in a car with a baboon a few months ago.
Horrible bastards they are.
Enrique's inability to sense the danger he's in there with that baboon explains a lot about his positioning when crosses come in from the other side.
Hansen would have closed that window before anyone else had even seen a fucking baboon.
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