Re: Xabi Alonso will stay at Anfield, says Rafa Benitez
Perez's obsession with thinking he can ignore our asking price and fob us off with unwanted players is really tiresome. Does he do it with any other club? He says he wants the Alonso situation sorted out as soon as possible. Okay: 'He's not for sale'. How long did that take, you twit?
RAFA: I wish to register a complaint.
PEREZ: Oh, yes? What seems to be the problem.
RAFA: When I sold Owen to you some time ago you gave me this fine creature in return.
PEREZ: Ah yes, the Antonio Nunez! Beautiful thing, eh? Lovely!
RAFA: It was rubbish.
PEREZ: What?? Are you joking?? The Nunez was much-coveted all over Europe!
RAFA: No. The Nunez was rotting in your reserves.
PEREZ: How DARE you!
RAFA: Anyway, what are you trying to offload this time?
PEREZ: I can barely bring myself to part with this absolute gem. Really. My heart is breaking...
RAFA: Get on with it.
PEREZ: I have out the back...some money...a box of chocolates...and...Alvaro Negredo!!
RAFA: Good bye.
PEREZ: No, wait! What about no money...TWO boxes of chocolates...
RAFA: Feck off!