Slicker Than Your Average
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Are you talking about the teeth marks?
My kid's mates have all got these haricuts... but when they aren't doing their hair or out shagging and drinking they're in the gym... so they're all dead hard.
I often think it would be much easier to take, getting the shit kicked out of you by a load of skinheads, than by a load of botters who get through a can of lacquer every few days.
I often think it would be much easier to take, getting the shit kicked out of you by a load of skinheads, than by a load of botters who get through a can of lacquer every few days.
They're too vain to fight properly though. They'd worry too much about their looks and the next thing they know some 5ft 5 madman is biting their ear off or ripping at one of their many piercings.
I saw that Demichelis or however you spell it at Liverpool airport today. He was in double denim wearing a black and white spotted bumbag and has either got highlights in his fringe or it's all gone conveniently Dave Vanian... He looked like he was in Gwar a few months ago. The lizards are defo putting gay molecules in the north west water supply.
I didn't know you were a cutter, Athens.
He always looked as though he was just emerging from, or entering, Tina Turner's twat.
Thread-worthy indeed, nice one Daveed.
Y'see, the problem with the Giroud cut (and it shall be henceforth knows as the Giroud cut, cos he wears it with such a brilliant lack of self-awareness) is that that cunt, and 99% of the other gormless idiots in the football who sport that atrocity, aren't sporting that atrocity of a do out of some post-ironic pisstake, but cos they actually believe it to be fucking cool. They genuinely believe that they've aligned their elite sporting status with an elite, urban, edgy cut to go with it.
No doubt cos they pay 200 quid (every fucking fortnight too) to some one-sleeved, furry-bearded, lensless-glass'd hipster cunt on portobello rd called Tristan - who convinced him that the organic agave treatment he put in before the 'styling' (cos no one gets a fucking 'cut' these days dah'ling) allowed the roots to thicken and therefore the style to 'take' to the head in a much richer fashion.
That cut, and the countless versions of it's ilk embody today's footballer; completely fucking oblivious to style, self-awareness, panache, effort, or comfort. Garish, hideous, fat-headed watches, obscenely shit cars with even more obscenly shit hubcaps, suits from Hugo Boss and fucking Valentino, and a sense of fashion straight out of 90's eastern europe. That they paid thousands for. Have a look at Alberto Moreno's get-up's on any social media account. The cunt is unbelievable. He's not the only one mind you. Imagine TopMan charged 10 grand for each item of clothing - that's where these dumb cunts would shop.
Anyway, as for haircuts. I fucking hate that syrupy side-shave and on-top flop. It's a fucking abomination. My mate's a hair stylist (grrr) and he's been trying to adorn my head for years with that shite. He'll get a chop to the cunt if he ever gets close to it. He tells me the next effort every cunt in football will be sporting is the high short ponytail which Becks did a couple of years back...
Imagine the above with the backs and sides shaved, that's what's coming. Sweet mother of fuck.
I should have given up caring about footballers style years ago really. A decent rule of thumb is to acknowledge that not one single English footballer knows how to dress or select a hairdresser. Not a single one of them. Even the referee's - looking at you Clattenburg - are getting in one the act. No cunt's safe.
There's cunts in Italy and Spain - especially the older ones - with something to offer, but by and large football is a hotbed of cultural ambivalence.
Y'see, the problem with the Giroud cut (and it shall be henceforth knows as the Giroud cut, cos he wears it with such a brilliant lack of self-awareness) is that that cunt, and 99% of the other gormless idiots in the football who sport that atrocity, aren't sporting that atrocity of a do out of some post-ironic pisstake, but cos they actually believe it to be fucking cool. They genuinely believe that they've aligned their elite sporting status with an elite, urban, edgy cut to go with it.
No doubt cos they pay 200 quid (every fucking fortnight too) to some one-sleeved, furry-bearded, lensless-glass'd hipster cunt on portobello rd called Tristan - who convinced him that the organic agave treatment he put in before the 'styling' (cos no one gets a fucking 'cut' these days dah'ling) allowed the roots to thicken and therefore the style to 'take' to the head in a much richer fashion.
That cut, and the countless versions of it's ilk embody today's footballer; completely fucking oblivious to style, self-awareness, panache, effort, or comfort. Garish, hideous, fat-headed watches, obscenely shit cars with even more obscenly shit hubcaps, suits from Hugo Boss and fucking Valentino, and a sense of fashion straight out of 90's eastern europe. That they paid thousands for. Have a look at Alberto Moreno's get-up's on any social media account. The cunt is unbelievable. He's not the only one mind you. Imagine TopMan charged 10 grand for each item of clothing - that's where these dumb cunts would shop.
Anyway, as for haircuts. I fucking hate that syrupy side-shave and on-top flop. It's a fucking abomination. My mate's a hair stylist (grrr) and he's been trying to adorn my head for years with that shite. He'll get a chop to the cunt if he ever gets close to it. He tells me the next effort every cunt in football will be sporting is the high short ponytail which Becks did a couple of years back...
Imagine the above with the backs and sides shaved, that's what's coming. Sweet mother of fuck.
I should have given up caring about footballers style years ago really. A decent rule of thumb is to acknowledge that not one single English footballer knows how to dress or select a hairdresser. Not a single one of them. Even the referee's - looking at you Clattenburg - are getting in one the act. No cunt's safe.
There's cunts in Italy and Spain - especially the older ones - with something to offer, but by and large football is a hotbed of cultural ambivalence.
Y'see the issue I have with Becks' do's Daveed, is the 10-year rule.
Ergo... When you look back on it in 10 years time, is it going to hold the test of time? Are you going to be mortified by looking at it?
I don't think Becks has a style per se, he just flip-flops between whatever's en vogue at the time. And he often manages to mismatch as bad as anyone I've seen. There's no flow to his overall schtick. He'll don a fabulous Tom Ford ensemble, and then team it up with a pair of fucking Timberland's on his feet.
Those haircuts aren't going to stay true over time. Like most of his chops. Look back at his history of cuts - they're all fucking diabolical in retrospect. Same goes for those ones above. They'll look shite in 2 years, nevermind 10.
Ergo... When you look back on it in 10 years time, is it going to hold the test of time? Are you going to be mortified by looking at it?
I don't think Becks has a style per se, he just flip-flops between whatever's en vogue at the time. And he often manages to mismatch as bad as anyone I've seen. There's no flow to his overall schtick. He'll don a fabulous Tom Ford ensemble, and then team it up with a pair of fucking Timberland's on his feet.
Those haircuts aren't going to stay true over time. Like most of his chops. Look back at his history of cuts - they're all fucking diabolical in retrospect. Same goes for those ones above. They'll look shite in 2 years, nevermind 10.
I've seen a good few hipster cunts donning that shaved sides with a ponytail on top look that Ryan is on about. I've never been so pissed off by people as I have in the last few years. Everyone is turning into a bad bell end. I'm not sure if it's a generational thing and I'm getting older and thus pouring scorn on the next generation coming through, but - and please excuse the cliché - the kids are getting worse now. It's not just footballers, the majority of people seem to be becoming these pretentious, snotfaced hipsters. I think Woland is right with that Mumfordisation term.
The sooner the apocalypse comes the better. It's all gone to the dogs.
The sooner the apocalypse comes the better. It's all gone to the dogs.
The moderate hipsters I can stand. Generally, things are ok in moderation.
It's the ultra hipsters that really annoy me.
The ones who:
- drink locally brewed beer/ale .. & by local I don't mean booze from your own country or city (a brand most would recognise) ... I'm talking about some piece of shit brew literally some random cunt up the street has brewed in their bathtub & bottled up in re-used glass bottles and is on sale as the local hipster bar.
- suddenly have plants every-fucking-where in their house ... and no, these are not plants in normal plant pots ... these plants have been taken out of the pots they came in & re-planted into a plastic bucket or empty nutella/vegemite container.
- ride a bike everywhere they go ... but no, they can't be seen on a normal mountain bike ... it's got to be a piece of shit bicycle from the 60's that someone threw out in their rubbish bin.
- wear shoes that are cheap knock offs of already cheap shoes ... eg: some random brand no one has heard of which looks exactly like a Converse Chuck Taylor or Vans shoe (those brands are just too mainstream man)
It's the ultra hipsters that really annoy me.
The ones who:
- drink locally brewed beer/ale .. & by local I don't mean booze from your own country or city (a brand most would recognise) ... I'm talking about some piece of shit brew literally some random cunt up the street has brewed in their bathtub & bottled up in re-used glass bottles and is on sale as the local hipster bar.
- suddenly have plants every-fucking-where in their house ... and no, these are not plants in normal plant pots ... these plants have been taken out of the pots they came in & re-planted into a plastic bucket or empty nutella/vegemite container.
- ride a bike everywhere they go ... but no, they can't be seen on a normal mountain bike ... it's got to be a piece of shit bicycle from the 60's that someone threw out in their rubbish bin.
- wear shoes that are cheap knock offs of already cheap shoes ... eg: some random brand no one has heard of which looks exactly like a Converse Chuck Taylor or Vans shoe (those brands are just too mainstream man)
I can't answer the question "how would Sir like his hair cut" with a straight face any longer sadly, however if powdered wigs ever return I'll be 'en vogue' for sure.
Seriously, there's some right Jessie's in here. It's like an episode of the Fast Show's Suits You Tailors.
Seriously, there's some right Jessie's in here. It's like an episode of the Fast Show's Suits You Tailors.
Some of his do's throughout his career have been shocking but I'm sure he knows that too.
I like the old fashioned Mad Men hair styles btw.
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