I know we get much tastier bites at the Spastic Aquarium that is Blue Fume, but I do keep an eye out on a Monday for the doomed, wizened old flids over at Grand Old Team, especially after another Bitters capitulation.
(Seven points after seven games, just fyi)
Current hot topics: Jordan Pickford (yet again), who veers from "great" to "a big-headed midget with tiny arms" with alarming regularity. Current consensus is that Everton should cash in, as he has no presence and thinks he's better than he is. Lots of speculation that he may have ADHD and is a jittery grinning Mackem gobshite and should probably fuck off.
Siggurdsson is currently (as ever) an overrated fraud who cost them £20m too much, and the value of recent signing Iwobi is also under severe scrutiny, as he apparently can't play more than 50 minutes and they got robbed.
Poor old Calvert-Lewin is their top scorer, but still belongs in the Championship - which, coincidentally, is also where Everton will end up if they don't sack Silva/ Brands/ everyone.
And Silva.....oh dear Marco Silva. The current mood has actually veered off the usual path of vindictive spiteful hatred, almost into a weird kind of resignation that maybe he's as good as Everton deserve? ie not really?
But actually no, FUCK Silva and his Just For Men fucking hair, the cunt! What Everton really need right now is......
.......Brendan Rodgers!
Big Character, great personality, top coach.