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Liverpool plan £250m field of dreams

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Dara O'Briain on the naming of stadiums

Jockstrap Park needs a proper name, not an email address

A child excreting Scrabble tiles could not have come up with a worse name for Newcastle United's historic stadium

Of all the legendary stadiums I've wanted to visit all my life – San Siro, the Maracanã, Fenway Park – the one that always stirred the imagination most was sportsdirect.com@St James' Park Stadium. Why do I love it so? Maybe it's the history. Maybe it's the famous passion of the local support. Or maybe it's because when I type it, it automatically gets underlined and highlighted by the word processor.

Even my laptop recognises that this is no mundane stadium. This is no ordinary place. No, this is an email address. One could debate for minutes the philosophical ramifications of having your home ground floating, untethered, somewhere in cyberspace. At the very least it'll change forever one of the hoariest cliches in sports punditry. Pundit one: "I see Newcastle are playing Barcelona in the next round." Pundit two: "Well, on paper, you'd have to favour Barcelona." Pundit one: "But Newcastle don't play on paper, do they? They play somewhere on the internet. Just left of Twitter, in fact, just before you get to Facebook."

It is a terrible, terrible name. It's difficult to think of how it could have been worse, short of getting a passing toddler to crawl across the keyboard towards a rusk; unless you filled the rusk with Scrabble tiles and then nervously waited for the child to excrete them out in some sort of order. No amount of monkeys with typewriters, working for any amount of time, could come up with something clumsier.

Maybe it's all the internal punctuation. I'm trying to think of any other place name that manages to ram in a full-stop and apostrophe and that @ thing into such a small space, but the only ones that come to mind are the offices of multimedia design companies called things like bRAIN-sPL@!, as in "bRAIN-sPL@! will make your vision of a connected e-retail future work for you!" Nobody should have to play football in a punctuation nightmare like that. Apart from MK Dons, who play at stadium:MK, but then they'll do a bit of website design for you on the side. And yes, I know Arsenal play at the Emirates, and that's not a proper stadium name either, but for some reason that's never really bothered me. Mainly because it's never been called anything else; and while Highbury might now be a block of flats, it's still called Highbury Square and looks as brilliantly unchanged as it possibly could.

Mainly, though, "Emirates" isn't a word I use very often and rarely think about the meaning of. I'm sure there must be an actual Emir somewhere, now that you mention it, but he rarely turns up, trying to get his ceremonial sword past security. There are many supporters who insist on calling the ground "Ashburton Grove" and, while I admire their integrity, I've lived on the Holloway Road and, frankly, can think of few places that less fit my image of a grove. A great place to pick up some fried chicken, though. I'd be less ambivalent if I was trudging over to the Singapore Airlines Stadium every couple of weeks, or God fear, the Ryanair SportsDome. You can insert your own Ryanair joke there, about paying extra for access to scoreboards, or the toilets, or to see both teams.

This is the rule then. The more commercial the branding, the more crass and unpleasant it sounds. Coventry can get away with the Ricoh Arena because few of us are in the market for a photocopier. Conversely, it doesn't matter if Rowntree-Mackintosh were a great local company, York City shouldn't be playing at KitKat Crescent. And Newcastle play at one the great stadiums. The third-biggest league ground in the country, the largest cantilevered roof in Europe and, in the farthest corner of the Jackie Milburn Stand, the highest point above the pitch of any stadium in England. This is what a stadium should inspire. Vertigo.

It should strike fear into the hearts of opposing supporters. They should be going: "I don't care if Ant and Dec are over there, this place scares the bejaysus out of me. We'll be lucky to get out of here alive." You shouldn't approach a stadium saying to yourself: "Ah, sportsdirect.com! That reminds me. I must go online and buy a jockstrap."
Click to expand...
 
[quote author=FoxForceFive link=topic=37009.msg982535#msg982535 date=1257682503]
The Apple Arena.
[/quote]

would be about as good a name as a corporate sponsored stadium could get.
 
[quote author=FoxForceFive link=topic=37009.msg982535#msg982535 date=1257682503]
The Apple Arena.
[/quote]

Hope not. I have had just about enough of new age apple fan boys.
 
I couldn't give a fUck if it was the Manchester Utd are no1. stadium if it means we get 250M.

We are in dire need of this if we want to stay close to the top of English football.
 
[quote author=Dreambeliever link=topic=37009.msg982619#msg982619 date=1257688930]
I couldn't give a fUck if it was the Manchester Utd are no1. stadium if it means we get 250M.
[/quote]

I could.
 
[quote author=Sheik Yerbouti link=topic=37009.msg982159#msg982159 date=1257636911]
The "Do You Know Who I Am?" stadium sounds dead menacing to opposition teams I reckon.
[/quote]


Hahaha
 
[quote author=Sheik Yerbouti link=topic=37009.msg982633#msg982633 date=1257690013]
[quote author=Dreambeliever link=topic=37009.msg982619#msg982619 date=1257688930]
I couldn't give a fUck if it was the Manchester Utd are no1. stadium if it means we get 250M.
[/quote]

I could.
[/quote]

I'm sure you get my point.
 
The Viagra stadium. Actually, that should be Everton's cos they always manage to stay up no matter how old & shit they are.
 
I just googled the top 10 Brands (figuring it would need to be one of them to get 250 mill from them?)

Coke (we could have Robbie snorting the line on the logo)
Microsoft
IBM
GE
Intel
Nokia
Toyota
Disney (please God no)
McDonalds (We were the first team to have a McD btw!)
Mercedes


and 11-20 as a possible

Citi (Would be cool down the East Lancs Though!)
Marlboro (No Chance with the smoking Advertising laws now)
Hewlett Packard
American Express
BMW
Gillette
Louis Vuitton
Cisco
Honda
Samsung
 
[quote author=Asbo link=topic=37009.msg982580#msg982580 date=1257685857]
With all the glasswork from the plan, its obviously 'Windows Arena'
[/quote]

Would it get updated every 2 years?
 
'Top 10 brands' based on what?

Recall?
Popularity?
Average yearly ad spend?
Penetration?

All I fucking care about is how much money they have to give us, give a fuck about anything else really
 
Is it really likely that we'll be able to get anywhere near £250m for the naming rights? The gooners got £100m for theirs + shirt sponsorship.
 
[quote author=Rafa4PM link=topic=37009.msg982850#msg982850 date=1257708085]
Is it really likely that we'll be able to get anywhere near £250m for the naming rights? The gooners got £100m for theirs + shirt sponsorship.
[/quote]

Why not? The one good thing about G&H is how they can extract the maximum money out of people.
 
[quote author=Red Mullet link=topic=37009.msg982852#msg982852 date=1257708192]
[quote author=Rafa4PM link=topic=37009.msg982850#msg982850 date=1257708085]
Is it really likely that we'll be able to get anywhere near £250m for the naming rights? The gooners got £100m for theirs + shirt sponsorship.
[/quote]

Why not? The one good thing about G&H is how they can extract the maximum money out of people.
[/quote]

I don't know if it is or isn't possible mate, it just seems such a huge difference between the two deals.
 
[quote author=Rafa4PM link=topic=37009.msg982855#msg982855 date=1257708417]
[quote author=Red Mullet link=topic=37009.msg982852#msg982852 date=1257708192]
[quote author=Rafa4PM link=topic=37009.msg982850#msg982850 date=1257708085]
Is it really likely that we'll be able to get anywhere near £250m for the naming rights? The gooners got £100m for theirs + shirt sponsorship.
[/quote]

Why not? The one good thing about G&H is how they can extract the maximum money out of people.
[/quote]

I don't know if it is or isn't possible mate, it just seems such a huge difference between the two deals.
[/quote]We are far more marketable in the huge markets (asia and america) than Arsenal. I read somewhere that only United and Madrid are bigger commoditys in the global market. Obviously i dont know if thats 150m but still.
 
[quote author=Herr Onceared link=topic=37009.msg982859#msg982859 date=1257708639]
[quote author=Rafa4PM link=topic=37009.msg982855#msg982855 date=1257708417]
[quote author=Red Mullet link=topic=37009.msg982852#msg982852 date=1257708192]
[quote author=Rafa4PM link=topic=37009.msg982850#msg982850 date=1257708085]
Is it really likely that we'll be able to get anywhere near £250m for the naming rights? The gooners got £100m for theirs + shirt sponsorship.
[/quote]

Why not? The one good thing about G&H is how they can extract the maximum money out of people.
[/quote]

I don't know if it is or isn't possible mate, it just seems such a huge difference between the two deals.
[/quote]We are far more marketable in the huge markets (asia and america) than Arsenal. I read somewhere that only United and Madrid are bigger commoditys in the global market. Obviously i dont know if thats 150m but still.
[/quote]

Yeah i think what you say there is all true Oncy.

I just can't quite see us getting £250m (i hope i'm wrong) for the naming rights, when the gooners got £100m for that and their shirt sponsorship.
 
[quote author=Rafa4PM link=topic=37009.msg982862#msg982862 date=1257708868]
[quote author=Herr Onceared link=topic=37009.msg982859#msg982859 date=1257708639]
[quote author=Rafa4PM link=topic=37009.msg982855#msg982855 date=1257708417]
[quote author=Red Mullet link=topic=37009.msg982852#msg982852 date=1257708192]
[quote author=Rafa4PM link=topic=37009.msg982850#msg982850 date=1257708085]
Is it really likely that we'll be able to get anywhere near £250m for the naming rights? The gooners got £100m for theirs + shirt sponsorship.
[/quote]

Why not? The one good thing about G&H is how they can extract the maximum money out of people.
[/quote]

I don't know if it is or isn't possible mate, it just seems such a huge difference between the two deals.
[/quote]We are far more marketable in the huge markets (asia and america) than Arsenal. I read somewhere that only United and Madrid are bigger commoditys in the global market. Obviously i dont know if thats 150m but still.
[/quote]

Yeah i think what you say there is all true Oncy.

I just can't quite see us getting £250m (i hope i'm wrong) for the naming rights, when the gooners got £100m for that and their shirt sponsorship.
[/quote]

Well we've had more time to secure the sponsorship for the naming rights so, maybe it can happen. TBF though, £250m does sound a lot and I'll be happy with £200m.
 
[quote author=Red Mullet link=topic=37009.msg982843#msg982843 date=1257707515]
[quote author=Asbo link=topic=37009.msg982580#msg982580 date=1257685857]
With all the glasswork from the plan, its obviously 'Windows Arena'
[/quote]

Would it get updated every 2 years?
[/quote]
Yup.

And the scorebaord would be called the "Blue Screen of Death"
 
[quote author=Brendan link=topic=37009.msg982847#msg982847 date=1257707703]
'Top 10 brands' based on what?

Recall?
Popularity?
Average yearly ad spend?
Penetration?

All I fucking care about is how much money they have to give us, give a fuck about anything else really
[/quote]

Oh It was the Top 100 Global Brands.


Here is the link for any interested http://images.businessweek.com/ss/06/07/top_brands/index_01.htm
 
[quote author=FoxForceFive link=topic=37009.msg982713#msg982713 date=1257696906]
The Viagra stadium. Actually, that should be Everton's cos they always manage to stay up no matter how old & shit they are.
[/quote]

Viagra tablets are also, famously, blue. Works for me.
 
[quote author=Asbo link=topic=37009.msg982837#msg982837 date=1257706485]
I just googled the top 10 Brands (figuring it would need to be one of them to get 250 mill from them?)

Coke (we could have Robbie snorting the line on the logo)
Microsoft
IBM
GE
Intel
Nokia
Toyota
Disney (please God no)
McDonalds (We were the first team to have a McD btw!)
Mercedes


and 11-20 as a possible

Citi (Would be cool down the East Lancs Though!)
Marlboro (No Chance with the smoking Advertising laws now)
Hewlett Packard
American Express
BMW
Gillette
Louis Vuitton
Cisco
Honda
Samsung

[/quote]

Citi, no way as we have Std Chartered Bank on our shirts
 
[quote author=DHSC link=topic=37009.msg983448#msg983448 date=1257747593]
The Louis Vuitton Stadium.

Fucking hell, the seats will be well posh.
[/quote]

And get nicked by the scalls.
 
800px-Red_Bull_Arena_logo.svg.png
 
[quote author=Rafa4PM link=topic=37009.msg982850#msg982850 date=1257708085]
Is it really likely that we'll be able to get anywhere near £250m for the naming rights? The gooners got £100m for theirs + shirt sponsorship.
[/quote]

Arsenal's was over 10 years. The figure of £250m is supposedly for a period of 20 years.
 
[quote author=TheBunnyman link=topic=37009.msg983806#msg983806 date=1257773437]
[quote author=Rafa4PM link=topic=37009.msg982850#msg982850 date=1257708085]
Is it really likely that we'll be able to get anywhere near £250m for the naming rights? The gooners got £100m for theirs + shirt sponsorship.
[/quote]

Arsenal's was over 10 years. The figure of £250m is supposedly for a period of 20 years.

[/quote]

It was 15 years i think Bunny, but still that might explain some of the difference.
 
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