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Divorce... WTF?!?!

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I have to say that my immediate thought, like Krump, was that she must be in love with (aka getting rodgered by) someone else. You should try and check the phone records, if there's another man she will have called him shortly after you told her you wanted out. Of course, she may have a second phone you don't know about but you can get a kit for locating cell phones in most surveillance stores, so if you get one of those you can see where she hides all her personal stuff too, like the letter about that massive inheritance she never told you about and she's now going to share with her lover.

Anyway, this is just my imagination running wild, I'm sure the woman you're in love with isn't an actress that your wife hired to seduce you so she could engineer this whole thing and I'm even more sure that I'm not actually her right now telling you this because that makes no sense even if it kinda rocks as a plot twist.

Although I did have a MASSIVE croissant for my breakfast this morning, which I don't really understand.
 
I think as always on these boards, I need to clarify. Definitely, if people are being horrid and arguing and there's an overall scenario of unhappiness, separation is better. But if someone decides to run off with someone else, leaving behind a really good/loving person (Partner), and a lovely young family, then it says more about them.

Sometimes people run, because of stuff in their own past. Sometimes people fall in love with others, because they couldn't handle the intimacy of a young family, and their great partner - and they'll have issues with the next person not too different. Things change when you move in with the person you had an affair it. Becomes a little more real.

For me, if someone does this, leaving a really good partner and a nice family situation (and this might not be anyone on these boards), I just don't get it. A young family, is a fantastic time, a joyful time (assuming one partner isn't horrid!). And frequently, there's something wrong with them rather than the person they are leaving.

Generalizing of course, but there is a point in there.
 
[quote author=localny link=topic=46147.msg1369954#msg1369954 date=1311613466]
I think as always on these boards, I need to clarify. Definitely, if people are being horrid and arguing and there's an overall scenario of unhappiness, separation is better. But if someone decides to run off with someone else, leaving behind a really good/loving person (Partner), and a lovely young family, then it says more about them.

Sometimes people run, because of stuff in their own past. Sometimes people fall in love with others, because they couldn't handle the intimacy of a young family, and their great partner - and they'll have issues with the next person not too different. Things change when you move in with the person you had an affair it. Becomes a little more real.

For me, if someone does this, leaving a really good partner and a nice family situation (and this might not be anyone on these boards), I just don't get it. A young family, is a fantastic time, a joyful time (assuming one partner isn't horrid!). And frequently, there's something wrong with them rather than the person they are leaving.

Generalizing of course, but there is a point in there.
[/quote]

*cough* bunnyman *cough*
 
Nah this isn't directed at anyone. So let's not go there. I don't know anyone enough, just talking through what i have seen in life..!
 
lol @ Gene.

Thanks Spion.

Ross - yes.

Krump - I'd be (honestly) very happy if she had found someone else. But she thinks I should stay in our house when I come back to see the kids (I'm going to be living in America part-time) so it seems unlikely.

Skully - all love songs seem suddenly meaningful when you're in love, even shit ones like that.

Localny - generalising is generalising. I don't think you're offering any special insight there.
 
[quote author=TheBunnyman link=topic=46147.msg1369965#msg1369965 date=1311614300]
lol @ Gene.

Skully - all love songs seem suddenly meaningful when you're in love, even shit ones like that.

[/quote]

they honestly don't to me.
 
[quote author=TheBunnyman link=topic=46147.msg1369965#msg1369965 date=1311614300]
lol @ Gene.

Thanks Spion.

Ross - yes.

Krump - I'd be (honestly) very happy if she had found someone else. But she thinks I should stay in our house when I come back to see the kids (I'm going to be living in America part-time) so it seems unlikely.

Skully - all love songs seem suddenly meaningful when you're in love, even shit ones like that.

Localny - generalising is generalising. I don't think you're offering any special insight there.
[/quote]

Ah I think I am. And there is a point. But anyway, no matter.
 
[quote author=Skullflower link=topic=46147.msg1369968#msg1369968 date=1311614417]
[quote author=TheBunnyman link=topic=46147.msg1369965#msg1369965 date=1311614300]
lol @ Gene.

Skully - all love songs seem suddenly meaningful when you're in love, even shit ones like that.

[/quote]

they honestly don't to me.
[/quote]

I'm not sure it's possible to fall in love with a Pot Noodle.
 
[quote author=localny link=topic=46147.msg1369970#msg1369970 date=1311614632]
[quote author=TheBunnyman link=topic=46147.msg1369965#msg1369965 date=1311614300]
lol @ Gene.

Thanks Spion.

Ross - yes.

Krump - I'd be (honestly) very happy if she had found someone else. But she thinks I should stay in our house when I come back to see the kids (I'm going to be living in America part-time) so it seems unlikely.

Skully - all love songs seem suddenly meaningful when you're in love, even shit ones like that.

Localny - generalising is generalising. I don't think you're offering any special insight there.
[/quote]

Ah I think I am. And there is a point. But anyway, no matter.
[/quote]

So you really think all partners are either 'good and loving' or 'horrid'? That there are no grey areas? And what is a 'young family'? And do you really think all 'young families' are joyful?
 
[quote author=TheBunnyman link=topic=46147.msg1369972#msg1369972 date=1311614727]
[quote author=Skullflower link=topic=46147.msg1369968#msg1369968 date=1311614417]
[quote author=TheBunnyman link=topic=46147.msg1369965#msg1369965 date=1311614300]
lol @ Gene.

Skully - all love songs seem suddenly meaningful when you're in love, even shit ones like that.

[/quote]

they honestly don't to me.
[/quote]

I'm not sure it's possible to fall in love with a Pot Noodle.
[/quote]

well i've never left it for a newer model.
 
[quote author=Fabio link=topic=46147.msg1369977#msg1369977 date=1311615453]
*imagines cum filled moldy pot noodle*
[/quote]

That's not the normal ingredients?
 
[quote author=Fabio link=topic=46147.msg1369977#msg1369977 date=1311615453]
*imagines cum filled moldy pot noodle*
[/quote]

it makes sense when you're in love.
 
[quote author=TheBunnyman link=topic=46147.msg1369974#msg1369974 date=1311614929]
[quote author=localny link=topic=46147.msg1369970#msg1369970 date=1311614632]
[quote author=TheBunnyman link=topic=46147.msg1369965#msg1369965 date=1311614300]
lol @ Gene.

Thanks Spion.

Ross - yes.

Krump - I'd be (honestly) very happy if she had found someone else. But she thinks I should stay in our house when I come back to see the kids (I'm going to be living in America part-time) so it seems unlikely.

Skully - all love songs seem suddenly meaningful when you're in love, even shit ones like that.

Localny - generalising is generalising. I don't think you're offering any special insight there.
[/quote]

Ah I think I am. And there is a point. But anyway, no matter.
[/quote]

So you really think all partners are either 'good and loving' or 'horrid'? That there are no grey areas? And what is a 'young family'? And do you really think all 'young families' are joyful?
[/quote]

I'm talking about specific situations, which most of us have seen where one partner has a good situation, but can't keep it in the pants, and does a runner - leaving a good person behind, with nice kids. Yeah, and I do think, at those early ages the experience is joyful, unless of course there's unusual problems with the child, But under 9, when the kids are that age, its' the golden age IMHO.
 
It's certainly a time in the life of a family where, normally, things are far more enjoyable than they are tough...

Though our two have their moments, they are at a wonderful age, full of energy and innocence and wonderment and love, and compared to what surely awaits us during their teenage years, these really are the good times.

I do often wonder how, when people walk away, without 'defendable' reason - my sister's husband, for example, just told her one day that "this is too hard and I can't do it anymore", and fucked off, leaving her with a three year old and an 11 month old, at Christmas - they expect to cope with life when it really get's tough.

Not a comment on anybody's specific situation in this thread, of course. Nobody knows what happens between two people, except them.
 
Surely it's harder when you have kids? Instead of heading out and having fun all the time, the two of you sit down at 9.30pm when the kids are finally in bed and the housework is done to watch another episode of CSI inbetween arguing about money. Plus there's a qualitative difference in the flavour of a woman's armpits after she's breastfed a few kids.
 
Life is harder with kids than without, yes. But it's also far more rewarding too. And at close to 40, my days of going out very often are behind me now.

Unfortunately, many I have encountered in my situation become so obsessed with not being "just" a parent and a spouse at this stage of their lives that they act in such a way as to become neither... I know many 40+ year olds who act far more immaturely than 25 year olds, and have it has cost them their marraiges.

And armpits are overrated anyway.
 
Definitely hard work but as you say WP but I wouldn't want it any other way. To quote someone when accepting an Oscar "I'd like to thank my kids for saving me from a life of terminal selfishness"
 
I was never into the idea of having kids, when Scrote 1 appeared I didn't know if he was my worst enemy or my best friend, but I reckon his presence was the only thing that kept me from joining the 27 club. Well, that and a lack of musical talent and charisma.
 
[quote author=Krump link=topic=46147.msg1370245#msg1370245 date=1311676579]
I was never into the idea of having kids, when Scrote 1 appeared I didn't know if he was my worst enemy or my best friend, but I reckon his presence was the only thing that kept me from joining the 27 club. Well, that and a lack of musical talent and charisma.
[/quote]

Fuck yeah, I've often said that Luke killed my social life, but the side effect of that was that I stayed alive. I have one mate the same age without kids who used to play out with us, he still does those 4/5 day benders, but as result has a tolerance for cocaine that means he spends a fortune on it, & a part time job as he cant hold down full time hours thanks to his recovering from aforementioned sessions.

Kids turn your life upside down, & take away all those things you thought you lived for, but then give you new things to life for, making those other things pale, but your appreciation for them increase, as you have them less often.
 
[quote author=FoxForceFive link=topic=46147.msg1370488#msg1370488 date=1311703801]
[quote author=Krump link=topic=46147.msg1370245#msg1370245 date=1311676579]
I was never into the idea of having kids, when Scrote 1 appeared I didn't know if he was my worst enemy or my best friend, but I reckon his presence was the only thing that kept me from joining the 27 club. Well, that and a lack of musical talent and charisma.
[/quote]

Fuck yeah, I've often said that Luke killed my social life, but the side effect of that was that I stayed alive. I have one mate the same age without kids who used to play out with us, he still does those 4/5 day benders, but as result has a tolerance for cocaine that means he spends a fortune on it, & a part time job as he cant hold down full time hours thanks to his recovering from aforementioned sessions.

Kids turn your life upside down, & take away all those things you thought you lived for, but then give you new things to life for, making those other things pale, but your appreciation for them increase, as you have them less often.
[/quote]

Odd you should mention that as my eldest (aged 10, going on 23) is turning me even more alcoholic. My liver doesn't know what has hit it - Rum + / gin is the answer.

The 2 year old is fine. For the moment.

Enjoy Luke while you can..... it gets worse.......
 
I've got the reverse case to most. I wasn't interested in their formative years. Little kids are stupid. I don't find their awe in new stuff at all inspiring, I find it boring. But once they got to about 7 or 8 and started becoming people with ideas and plans they've been ace. Now Scrote 1 is 16 we do loads of stuff together all the time and he's never given me a hard time or gone off the rails, possibly because we're into the same kinda stuff. Mind you, Scrote 2 at 12 looks likely to go off like a ten bob rocket at any minute.

They're human shields for my escapism now. I love going away with my missus but I love getting away with the lads too and, for example, 'Mrs Krump, I'm just off to somewhere ace for the weekend for a party, see you Tuesday' doesn't go down very well, whereas 'Mrs Krump, I'm just off to somewhere ace for the weekend with one of the binlids, see you Tuesday' is mucho acceptable - and great fun. I'm under the impression that Scrote 1 will still enjoy this behaviour pattern until he's through uni, got a job and can finally get rid of me, at which point I'll still have another 4 years of Scrote 2s shielding skillz.
 
I'm sure No1 will get better with age, but he's been like this since he was 6 or 7 and it's wearing thin.

No2 is equally inquisitive & but more amusing as he is still cute, can't argue back & pick holes in your flawed logic.

I'm off for a drink.......
 
Heh. Maybe mine were horrors when they were small, my memory is only good for the past couple of months
 
So, this weekend was fun...

Amy took the girls to the beach without me (of course), which was hard enough in itself. THAT'S when I thought that it was just Amy and some of her girlfriends, and all of the respective kids. Then I found out that it was actually all of her girlfriends and their husbands / parters, etc... and the respective kids.

So, basically, practically everybody who's been in my life for the past 14 years nearly, partying it up and having a whale of a time, without me. Everybody acting like the fact that somebody who's been around for nearly 14 years has suddenly vanished from the scene is completely normal. Brilliant stuff. I genuinely don't know how they do it. I couldn't. It will never cease to amaze me how people who once told me that they longed for a man who loved them like I love Amy, suddenly cannot even acknowledge my existence because she left me. How the fuck does that work?

And yes, I knew it was coming, but it still fucking sucks.
 
That stinks. All I can offer by way of comment is that perhaps some of them weren't happy about the idea but felt they had to go along with it for one reason or another. Maybe give it a while and see if any of them, the fellas especially, contact you?
 
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