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Divorce... WTF?!?!

[quote author=Skullflower link=topic=46147.msg1374595#msg1374595 date=1312474361]
if you thought your wife was boss and now you think she's an utter twat then you need to learn to be a better judge of character.
[/quote]

That is something that's been on my mind a lot over the past year...

Theoretically, you're spot on, of course. But the woman who left me is not the woman I married. She's changed. A lot. And yes, I saw those changes then, and I see them now. And then, I hoped for the best, hoped that she would change back into the woman that I fell in love with, and always thought that she would snap out of it when she saw how much t was hurting me, and hurting us. And I always thought that she would 'get it' eventually because I knew that she loved me deeply, and that she always would. Becuase she told me repeatedly that she did and she would. And when you see the bad in somebody you love, and they love you back, you persuade yourself that it's not that bad, and it'll all be ok again soon.

Then, she announced that she didn't, hadn't for "years and years and years", and wouldn't ever again. And now I look at it from the perspective of somebody who's been lied to and treated very poorly for a long time now, but no longer has the hope that the underlying love she has for me will bring her around. Because it's not there. And so I can no longer pretend that I don't see it. And can no longer hope that she'll change back. And so my perspective is vastly different.

You're right, to an extent... Love can illicet very poor decision-making. And that's a part of this, for sure. But it's not nearlly as big a part as the enormous change in my wife over the past 5 or 6 years. She's just not the same person. Which is a big shame. 'Cos she was a wonderful girl.
 
[quote author=Herr Onceared link=topic=46147.msg1374415#msg1374415 date=1312455986]

You need to accept things and just move the fuck on Del. The longer you sit in the why me why phase the longer it will take to start being a human being again.
She doesnt love you and doesnt want to be with you anymore. Thats the end of it. So hard as it may be you have to respect that shit and move on, as im sure you would rather her be happy than stay with you and pretend to be?

[/quote]

This is good advice. A day will come when you have an epiphany about all this. Whether that day is 1 month or 5 years depends on you.

And don't act like a wuss in front of a woman who's holding the cards; the callous fucks feed off it. As soon as you stop giving a shit, she will start questioning the decisions she's making.
 
[quote author=gene hughes link=topic=46147.msg1374713#msg1374713 date=1312495342]
I think it's fascinating the way people approach ths very American concept of 'closure', or just moving on as we used to say. Delete your facebook or don't delete your facebook.... accept and respect or only one of them or maybe neither.... shake yourself off or let it work its way through your system... ultimately only time will take the edge off I reckon.

Unless you break into her house and take a shite on her pillow. That's what I'd do.
[/quote]

I heard a better one recently, a guy who recently broke up with his wife broke back into the house and stole one shoe out of every pair of shoes she owned.
 
[quote author=LarryHagman link=topic=46147.msg1374743#msg1374743 date=1312502397]
[quote author=Herr Onceared link=topic=46147.msg1374415#msg1374415 date=1312455986]

You need to accept things and just move the fuck on Del. The longer you sit in the why me why phase the longer it will take to start being a human being again.
She doesnt love you and doesnt want to be with you anymore. Thats the end of it. So hard as it may be you have to respect that shit and move on, as im sure you would rather her be happy than stay with you and pretend to be?

[/quote]

This is good advice. A day will come when you have an epiphany about all this. Whether that day is 1 month or 5 years depends on you.


[/quote]

Spot on. But easier said than done.

Also - it's SOOOO obvious Skully's single and never had a relationship.
 
[quote author=Ryan link=topic=46147.msg1374756#msg1374756 date=1312525599]
[quote author=LarryHagman link=topic=46147.msg1374743#msg1374743 date=1312502397]
[quote author=Herr Onceared link=topic=46147.msg1374415#msg1374415 date=1312455986]

You need to accept things and just move the fuck on Del. The longer you sit in the why me why phase the longer it will take to start being a human being again.
She doesnt love you and doesnt want to be with you anymore. Thats the end of it. So hard as it may be you have to respect that shit and move on, as im sure you would rather her be happy than stay with you and pretend to be?

[/quote]

This is good advice. A day will come when you have an epiphany about all this. Whether that day is 1 month or 5 years depends on you.


[/quote]

Spot on. But easier said than done.

Also - it's SOOOO obvious Skully's single and never had a relationship.
[/quote]

Oh yes !
 
[quote author=Herr Onceared link=topic=46147.msg1374719#msg1374719 date=1312495892]
That plus id sit around in my pants a lot sliding my finger between my nutsack and my upper thigh and smelling it.
[/quote]
Genius
 
[quote author=Whaddapie link=topic=46147.msg1374729#msg1374729 date=1312497900]
[quote author=Skullflower link=topic=46147.msg1374595#msg1374595 date=1312474361]
if you thought your wife was boss and now you think she's an utter twat then you need to learn to be a better judge of character.
[/quote]

That is something that's been on my mind a lot over the past year...

Theoretically, you're spot on, of course. But the woman who left me is not the woman I married. She's changed. A lot. And yes, I saw those changes then, and I see them now. And then, I hoped for the best, hoped that she would change back into the woman that I fell in love with, and always thought that she would snap out of it when she saw how much t was hurting me, and hurting us. And I always thought that she would 'get it' eventually because I knew that she loved me deeply, and that she always would. Becuase she told me repeatedly that she did and she would. And when you see the bad in somebody you love, and they love you back, you persuade yourself that it's not that bad, and it'll all be ok again soon.

Then, she announced that she didn't, hadn't for "years and years and years", and wouldn't ever again. And now I look at it from the perspective of somebody who's been lied to and treated very poorly for a long time now, but no longer has the hope that the underlying love she has for me will bring her around. Because it's not there. And so I can no longer pretend that I don't see it. And can no longer hope that she'll change back. And so my perspective is vastly different.

You're right, to an extent... Love can illicet very poor decision-making. And that's a part of this, for sure. But it's not nearlly as big a part as the enormous change in my wife over the past 5 or 6 years. She's just not the same person. Which is a big shame. 'Cos she was a wonderful girl.
[/quote]

i think the naivety is in ever letting people take you for granted: the more you do the more reinforcing it becomes. it is hard to act on it after being with someone for a long time but that is also when it's most likely to happen. it sounds paradoxical but i think always being prepared to leave a relationship, no matter how entrenched it is, is more condusive to a healthy one.
 
[quote author=TheBunnyman link=topic=46147.msg1374709#msg1374709 date=1312494278]
[quote author=Skullflower link=topic=46147.msg1374692#msg1374692 date=1312489772]
cheers, sheik.
[/quote]

He just wants you for sex, skully - surely you can see that?
[/quote]

that's fine cos i have complete perspicacity about it and accept his terms.
 
[quote author=Rosco link=topic=46147.msg1374752#msg1374752 date=1312520812]
[quote author=gene hughes link=topic=46147.msg1374713#msg1374713 date=1312495342]
I think it's fascinating the way people approach ths very American concept of 'closure', or just moving on as we used to say. Delete your facebook or don't delete your facebook.... accept and respect or only one of them or maybe neither.... shake yourself off or let it work its way through your system... ultimately only time will take the edge off I reckon.

Unless you break into her house and take a shite on her pillow. That's what I'd do.
[/quote]

I heard a better one recently, a guy who recently broke up with his wife broke back into the house and stole one shoe out of every pair of shoes she owned.
[/quote]

How's he gonna wear them if he only took one?
 
So anyway, I see a polar bear ate someone today. I wonder how many people are eaten every day by an animal.

Bears
Sharks
Crocodiles/alligators
Dogs
Lions
Tigers
Piranhas
Monkeys

I would have thought that between that lot we're losing at least five people a day, or could it be fewer?
 
With the earth's growing and unsustainable population we need the animals to up their game considerably.
 
Apparently hippos kill more people than all the other animals in Africa combined. They're like the Stewart Downings of the animal kingdom, they don't look the part but the stats are great. Of course hippos don't eat people they just kill them which rather belies the whole 'Hungry Hippos' thing. If I listed the animals that just kill people I suppose it would be very long. I reckon about 1000 people are killed by animals every day (not counting things like mosquito borne diseases or parasites). I suppose I mean that every day about 1000 people get their head kicked in by animals, to use the vernacular. But as you say Doc, they would still need to really up their game.
 
I doubt animals are killing 1000 people a day (if you discount wee critters). It isn't good enough. No wonder we wiped Bears and Wolves out in most of the Western world. Fucking hippies.
 
Some good advice in here; eventually we all have to find a way to move on and see what's next.

It's not as easy as some on here would have you think, judging by some posts.
 
[quote author=Avvy link=topic=46147.msg1375207#msg1375207 date=1312597196]
Some good advice in here; eventually we all have to find a way to move on and see what's next.

It's not as easy as some on here would have you think, judging by some posts.
[/quote]It well is though.
 
[quote author=doctor_mac link=topic=46147.msg1375188#msg1375188 date=1312587303]
I doubt animals are killing 1000 people a day (if you discount wee critters). It isn't good enough. No wonder we wiped Bears and Wolves out in most of the Western world. Fucking hippies.
[/quote]The other big problem these days is with the EU and UN and what not moving in and stopping despots, dictators and genocide. I doubt we'll see another population manager like a Pol Pot.
 
[quote author=Herr Onceared link=topic=46147.msg1375221#msg1375221 date=1312617734]
[quote author=doctor_mac link=topic=46147.msg1375188#msg1375188 date=1312587303]
I doubt animals are killing 1000 people a day (if you discount wee critters). It isn't good enough. No wonder we wiped Bears and Wolves out in most of the Western world. Fucking hippies.
[/quote]The other big problem these days is with the EU and UN and what not moving in and stopping despots, dictators and genocide. I doubt we'll see another population manager like a Pol Pot.
[/quote]

"Population manager" LOLPOT
 
[quote author=Herr Onceared link=topic=46147.msg1375220#msg1375220 date=1312617506]
[quote author=Avvy link=topic=46147.msg1375207#msg1375207 date=1312597196]
Some good advice in here; eventually we all have to find a way to move on and see what's next.

It's not as easy as some on here would have you think, judging by some posts.
[/quote]It well is though.
[/quote]

I used to think that.
 
[quote author=Avvy link=topic=46147.msg1375224#msg1375224 date=1312619504]
[quote author=Herr Onceared link=topic=46147.msg1375220#msg1375220 date=1312617506]
[quote author=Avvy link=topic=46147.msg1375207#msg1375207 date=1312597196]
Some good advice in here; eventually we all have to find a way to move on and see what's next.

It's not as easy as some on here would have you think, judging by some posts.
[/quote]It well is though.
[/quote]

I used to think that.
[/quote]

I think Oncy's joking, Avvy. Anyone who's lived and loved and had their heart broken knows how hard it can be - and how long it can take - to get over it. Time is the only healer. The problem is that, to start with, every hour seems to last about a week. A bit like watching the second half of our CL match against Chelsea in 05 over and over again, but without the happy ending.

Just walk on...
 
I just want to point out that dozens of people are probably killed everyday by being kicked by horses and cows.

I pity the fool who thinks 1000 lives a day aren't taken by animals.
 
[quote author=gene hughes link=topic=46147.msg1375294#msg1375294 date=1312635455]
I just want to point out that dozens of people are probably killed everyday by being kicked by horses and cows.

I pity the fool who thinks 1000 lives a day aren't taken by animals.
[/quote]

Let's say that the deaths in the US equals a hundredth of the total deaths by animals in the world each day- the US has much more than a hundredth of the world's population. It actually has a 30th of the population- and OK, it is considerably safer than African and Asian countries but less safe than European when it comes to risk of animal death. Probably.

Death by Animals in US per year:


Bitten or struck(?) by a dog: 26

Bitten or struck by other mammals: 65

Bitten or crushed(?) by other reptiles: 31

Other and unspecified animate mechanical forces: 12

Total: 134

So deaths per day= .367

So in the US one person dies approx. every 3 days from an animal caused death. If that is a hundredth of World deaths then 37 people die per day in the whole world from animal related deaths. Fuck it- let's say the world is seriously much more dangerous than the US- being crushed by a reptile might be more likely in the Galagapos Islands for instance with those giant tortoises and shit- multiply animal deaths in the US by a 1000 for the world figure. 367. Just over a third of this incredible figure of 1000.

Fool's taken you to school.
 
So in the US one person dies approx.every 3 days from an animal-caused death.

He must be well p!$$ed off with it by now.
 
I don't understand why Bunnyman is posting in this thread. Should he not start one called Divorce... FTW?!?!
 
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