That was probably the funniest weekend of my life.
Met the big man for tea in Caesars place, which for £14 quid, was pretty shite. The look on Ross’s face when the steak came over with SALAD on the plate (the cheeky bastards) was priceless. Then it was off to the Philharmonic, just so that Ross could look at the toilets? Strange boy. Then Mr Jamo decided to make an appearance! He does look about 12, and yes, his shirt did need ironing but on the whole he is a good kid. He necked a pint of Stella in about 5 minutes when he got there. Nervous jamo? I swear to god, he thought he was gonna get raped of something. After a couple, he loosened up a bit, and decided it was a good idea to try and take the piss out of me!
Onto Wetherspoons to meet Pat and Ijg, who were a couple of crackers. Ive gotta be honest, the highlight of my weekend was meeting Pat. The guy is a fucking legend. You have to meet him to believe it. He sounds so simple on the site, but actually knows a lot and is excellent with the women. Throughout the course of the night, he got me talking to dozens of girls, none of which I remember. POPWORLD! Anyone who has never been to this place, has to go. I love it. Its cheesy as fuck, wall to sluts.
I don’t remember a thing about it really, but I was pole dancing with a glittery cowboy hat on, and starry glasses (IJG, I don’t care if you put that picture on here mate). Oh, and Ross had a go at the old pole as well. DB says that at one point, there were 4 girls around the pole, I walks over and says DB, “Move those fuckers out the way mate, that pole is mineâ€.
How the hell I pulled that bird, I’ll never know. I wasn’t in any state to speak, never mind try and charm her. Im so glad Pat is a non-drinker, cos if it wasn’t for him, me and Ross wouldn’t have even known anything about those 3 hours in there. So, I took this bird home anyway, she wakes me up 8AM and asks me to drop her off home. Me Mum catches us creeping down the stairs. Disaster.
Saturday in the Harry was class too. Think I might make that my new boozer. It was very strange at the start when we met in there, but after a bit everyone was getting on like a house on fire. Meetin Mark Mc was class, first thing I said to him “Are you comin to town tonight Mateâ€, Reply was “Only if you’ve got a pair of scissors to get this fuckin tag off ladâ€. Brilliant!
Think I was still pissed from the Friday night, so Saturday is very very hazy indeed. But this is a little summary of what I managed to pick up:
Mr VQ. It was an absolute pleasure, and im so glad he stayed out. We are going to have to arrange a pint in the Rose of Mossley with Jamo sometime? Cant believe you know Dave Dance as well!
Sheikhy saying to me every 5 minutes “How Surreal is this†and then giving me this manic looking stare like he was gonna fucking kill me. Im convinced you are evil.
The two Irish lads – They had me crying laughing in wetherspoons. Literally tears running down my cheeks. Jan Molby, jokes about Batman and Robin (think we will leave that one eh lads), me pushing Aiden over whilst David was crouched behind him, and many many more. Im just gutted I missed the breakdancing whilst me and Pat were off on a covert op (aka minge hunting).
Singlerider – What a gent. I couldn’t believe how posh and well spoken you were. And he isn’t as dirty as everyone would presume. He didn’t try anything at all. And I was that fucked, I was there for the taking!
Our Kid – Fuckin legend. The hair sniffing was amazing. He must have sniffed about 30 different girls, and only got caught once. Standing there at the top of the stairs watching this was an education.
Jay and Sunny – Brilliant job, getting us into heebies. Sunny led from the front, whilst me and Jay ushered everyone up the rear making sure no-one got lost. Just walking right in there whilst there were loads of pretentious twatty lads in the queue was fucking great. We felt like VIP’s. Thanks Guys. Plus Sunny is Mr Tickle.
Peatch – Im made up he turned out, cos I didn’t think you were coming mate. It was weird meething you, cos we probably live about 500 yards from each other, and we’ve never met before. Good job on getting VQ home!
Rouge – Nice tank top! And they were saying I had a twat of a jumper on Friday night! Only messing mate, you looked smart. Put me to shame anyway.
Andy – Finally met the man. I vaguely remember apologizing for never replying to your texts, and also trying to decipher were your accent was actually from! Oh, and taking the piss out of you smoking Marlie Lights! Cheers for remembering the Mel Gibson film for me, even if the wind up didn’t work!
IJG – Great Kid, and Ive got a lot of respect time for considering what happened about his accommodation. That jumper wasn’t pink though! I don’t remember if you got any action on Sat night, but I heard about this 45 year old that you were chatting up! Nice one!
Foxy – Im gutted I never got to speak to you more, I suppose we were the hosts, and we were just making sure everyone was ok. Plus, you’ve got a baba on the way now, so me and you cant go off pulling anymore! Im still not having that you have to shave everyday though. Oh, and how did it feel being the smallest member at drinkies?
Dreambeliever – This guy is class. Ive never seen anyone charm the ladies as much. His tongue is deadly. Fair enough, I cant understand him very well, especially when drunk, but I don’t need to. I can just look at him and laugh. Had to head back into town yesterday just to see him off. Try and get over for the Derby game as discussed mate, and we will make a weekend of it.
Spion – I thought there would be trouble when I saw Spion/Irish Lads/Anti Rafa brigade talking, but he managed to keep his head! I cant believe how bladdered you were though mate! You were fucked in the taxi on the way into town! Saying that, I think I was too. Remember me telling the Evertonian taxi driver how Lescott got his scar??
Swiss Tony – Is it just me, or does anyone else think he looks like Cesc Fabregas? Quiet, but that’s to be expected. At least he made the effort, and he travelled an awful long way! I had a drink with him yesterday afternoon in O-Neills, and had a little chat anyway. Nice bloke!
And Finally, my good old pal Ross – Fucking legend of a weekend as always mate, as we were saying yesterday though, I probably enjoyed Friday more than the Saturday (Not cos of the company, more cos im not that keen on Heebies – Lots of pretentious twats). You know you are welcome over whenever mate, try and do that Man City game if you can and we will hit the world of pop again for more Pole Dancing, stealing of cowboys hats, and just weird stuff in general. Me and our Lee were talking last night about trying to get over to Leopardstown sometime this year, so we’ll let you know and you can take us to the Dublin equivalent of Popworld.
So basically, it was a superb weekend, as others have said, there were no wankers, no arguments, no fighting, and just hilarity in general. We should make this a regular meet up lads, cos it really was a night to remember. It shows how tight a community we have, if we can all meet up with people you have never really met before, and have such a good night.
And finally, can I change my status to 6CM Slag now? I was working this out yesterday, and I have now shared a double bed with 5 members of this site. And im not even gay.
