Drinkies: The chronicles of the sober man
Well where the hell do I begin? A few have posted their version of the weekend events so I
thought I would throw in my 2 cents worth. And for once I’ll actually try and type something
semi coherent.
Thursday 31st
: Got the last Ryanair flight from Dublin, which ran an hour behind schedule. Arrived at
the international Inn at 1230AM. For the last place available in Liverpool for the weekend it
was a lot better than expected (little did I know Vlads mate owns it!)
Once the bags are dropped, it was straight out to concert square to begin the weekend.
Surprisingly, the place was very busy, ended up in a darkish dance club, where the men
showed more flesh that ladies (No singlerider there was no anal fisting!) managed to start
talking to a local lass who wanted me to escort her home to her to gaff beside Anfield.
Having previously been told that that area of town was dodgy and the fact she was more
interested in looking at the 20£ notes in my wallet than me, I decided to call it a night.
Not before I had the worst kebab in history down by lime st station.
All in all not a bad start to the weekend, but it was just the beginning.
Friday 1st
: Woke up to a deserted hostel room at 11ish. Then out of the shower came what
can only be described as a semi retarded Geordie. Between the wall punching, bed kicking
and random shouting he seems like a decent lad. Kinda like ILD on Crack. But once he
started muttering to himself (“not again, I can’t do that again or I’ll be running for lifeâ€)
as he ironed his Newcastle top, I knew it was time to get out of the room.
A quick stop off in the internet café let me know a few things notably,
IJG was going to get a Wedgie if he wore his boxers showing.
Everyone thought nobody would show up
And that RILSC (Joe) wasn’t returning Igy’s txts or calls.
A couple of pm’s and a very incoherent phone call later I was going to pick Igy up at lime
street station at 5:30. Joe having promised for months that he’d put Igy up and pull every
fit bird in sight suddenly had dropped off the face of the earth leaving a 17 year kid with
nowhere to go on his 1st major trip away from home. WANKER!
Passed the next few hours by window shopping and trying the accent out on some
unassuming shop assistants, evidently the no 33 and 44 were going to be used as much
as possible when trying to pull later on.
Meet Igy at 530 off the train. Lovely lad, really down to earth and incredible mature for a
lad of 17. Although the Voodoo doll with a needle in Joe’s Crotch did worry me enough to
decide I was going to treat him extra nice! After dropping or gear off and yet another dodgy
take away (is there a good one in Liverpool) we settled in Weatherspoons to await the
arrival of Ross and Pete. It was now 6:50PM.
After lengthy discussion on everything from 6cm to the nightlife in “Notts†the boys finally
turned up at 9.10Pm (I have 4 “we’ll be there in 20mins†txts from Pete still on my phone).
This was where the weekend really started. It was brilliant. Obvious awkward silencing for
the 1st few mins, where Pete and Jamo (who turned up) talked about the Liverpool nightlife
and me and Ross talked about Potatoes sheep and such. But once we got going it was brilliant.
Really really top lads all round. We talked women, football, Rafa, the scum albeit briefly as
Pete “I FUCKING HATE THOSE TWATS†wanted the subject dropped!
And anything else that came to mind. The pints were flowing and even Igy had a Coruna.
As for the lads themselves.
Ross: I was expecting a 6ft plus fat bastard, instead I was met by a 5 9 built like a
Mini digger horse of a man. Incredibly sound (for a southsider) 😛 and very easy to get on
with.
Also it must be noted he has hands that are bigger than shovels, at one point he was
carrying four pints with nothing bar the palm of his hands. And never ever steal anyone’s
glittery Cowboy hat in his presence EVER! (More on this later)
He knows his footie and his rugby and is one smart f*cker with the books. Drinkies the
Dublin leg is definitely an idea.
The Loch ness Monster: Didn’t know too much about this lad before I met him apart
from his wonderful tales of Pete’s fat bird shagging disease. For me one of the biggest
and best surprises of the weekend, just as sound as Pete and easy to identify with although
I’ll leave the hair sniffing to you mate! 😉 His stories would make even the most miserable
cnut laugh out loud. People will talk about the Irish double act of God_23 and ILD (and rightly
so) but these two brothers mad my weekend, never ever a dull moment.
As for his appearance well it’s more of the scouse look I was expecting, tallish skinhead and a
hoodie! And if he could score goals like he can sniff girl’s hair without getting caught he’d bag
50 a year. I think he was on something like 50 sniffs and only caught once in Hebbie Jebbies.
LEGEND. Although your shit at blackjack mate!
Jamo: OMG!!! I’m still in shock, for all the stuff this lad posts and for the length of time he’s been
on 6cm and Koptalk I was expecting a big arrogant hard looking man.
Instead I was introduced too (I was convinced it was a windup) a kid that looked no more
than 15. He looked like David Platt’s younger brother. I thought he was going to blow away
when someone opened the door in weatherspoons! He was that light. When he turned
sideways I thought he had left!
Having said all that and the posh accent aside, another top bloke, Up for a laugh, well able to
chat and not half as miserably as he makes out on the site. Pity he didn’t come on Saturday
as I’m convinced he would have only added to the night. Very glad I’ve met him.
Shit back to work.
I’ll continue the post later…….
Igy:
For a lad I never spoke to before we got on very well. Due to Pete’s lack of time keeping, 20 mins
turned into 2 hours of waiting in weatherspoons so I got to know the wee man very well. You
wouldn’t believe he was only 17 by talking to him. Really glad he came up despite rilsc going
AWOL. Smoothest dresser this side of Milan and well able to put a bit of chat on the ladies in
Popworld. Very worthy wingman for the night.
Lee:
A bluenose. Nuff said, ah no true gent and not bothered that we were all either paddy’s or Pool
fans. Hilarious lad in Popworld and well able to talk footie. Considering he was hoping on a bus at
12 the next day to watch neverton you had to take your (Cowboy) hat off to him. If he could
Poledance he’s be Pete in disguise!
And Finally for Friday night
Pete:
Absolute F*CKING LEGEND! This lad would have gotten on well Hitler. Sound out, funny as f*ck,
unassuming, cheeky, talkative (not nearly as bad myself though) and some man for getting
chatting to a fit bird only to disappear again 5 mins later in search or a err… a larger conquest!
(I’m still convinced that big red belt held it all in Pete!!)
For a man from the “posh†part of Liverpool he has shit taste in jumpers! 😉
Thank God someone put a hole in that pink thing dangling from his shoulders.
POPWORLD:
And after losing Jamo to “me college mates†we headed to a club for cheap booze cheesy music
and slutty birds. No it wasn’t Brendan’s family reunion it was indeed popworld.
I had my concerns before entering as normally I’d head to Albert Dock or Concert square but Pete
assured me of the craic to be had. And he didn’t mean Igy crack on show with his Pants hanging
off. Once we climbed the Everest like stairs we were in. And God it couldn’t be cheesier. Westlife
followed Backstreet boys, Take That and then 5ive. All classics of course for this place.
Almost immediately after getting a drink and being introduced to the snooker girls ( more to
follow….), I was off to the dance floor. Almost got raped by some Spanish lass on the floor because
my top said “your mother is a hoar 69†in Spanish apparently. Got chatting to the 6 birds with the
Spain girl and duly brought the other lads up for introductions. Now none of the lads bar Lee
remember the fact we chatted these girls for 2 hours. There was everything from drunken
attempts at a quick snog to the purchase of previously mentioned large glitter colored Cowboy
hats. (And Pete wondered why his niece was asking him “why have you glitter on your face?†the
next day.)
Lee had his hat nicked by a little blonde beauty, something which made everyone laugh bar Ross,
who knocked half the club over chasing her to get it back. Reports of her ending up on the floor
haven’t been confirmed yet but Ross did look smug with the hat back on his head covering his err……. Tight haircut 😛
Then of course it was the turn of the supersized Glasses (we have a pic). Pete wore them with
aplomb, before jetting off to the poles for some fireman dancing. The boy really can swing. Never
mind the 4 or 5 girls he clattered on more than one occasion. Or the fact he routinely got me to
approach girls while verbally declaring he’s preferred choice of the bunch. Normally he chose the
fittest one but for some reason only known to God himself he’s always end up chatting the fatty! 🙂
During the course of the night I must have half kissed and chatted most of the women in there
with Igy as my able wingman, He scored a nice blonde towards the end. I settled on a young girl
(She was legal) simply because she had the best hot pants ive ever seen.
In the mean time there was time for Ross to throw drink at me and the snooker girls. That was a
pretty hairy experience (Ha ha ha) **winks at Pete**
And the most amazing phenomenon of the night. I introduced Pete and Ross to two birds who
were friends of the hot pants girl. Literarily 5, mins later no sign of the lads. I txt Ross to which I
got an instant reply saying he and Pete had left and he was in bed.
I now am convinced he’s superman. How he got that far in such a short space of time only God
knows. It was like a 15 min walk at least. Maybe he was chasing a burger or a Cowboy hat. Who
knows?
Pete left with a very tidy and sweet girl. She worked a snooker hall. Pretty fit body and talkative.
Jon reckons she thought she was fat on the inside while I’m sticking with my idea that her
oversized belt was holding it all together. But in fairness hats off Pete. IMO she was a cracker. Really nice girl.
Then all that was left was for me and Igy to escort the girls (hot pants and Blondie) to their taxi.
I was surprised my one was still talking to me after Pete abused her solid for 2 minutes. What
could I do but laugh me head off. Classic stuff not to be repeated on here. We stopped chips and
I’m afraid the bright lights of the chippy convinced Igy to leave his bird as she was and head home.
I think the term beer goggles hit home for him or else he has very high standards as I thought she
wasn’t bad at all.
As for the rest of the night lets just say I got the bus back from Hope university campus at 11 the
next day, Good laugh but crazy crazy girl. God I love POPWORLD…..
Saturday to follow after work.
Shit back to work.
I’ll continue the post later…….
Ran out of room on this post so put Saturday in a new post at the end of the thread.
