I have to say I was always enormously impressed by Merv Hughes. A proper role model of masculinity.
THE ASHES... 2009
- Thread starter The Nomad
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I was amused by Merv Hughes when he talked about sledging Mike Atherton. "He's a very educated man," said Merv admiringly. "He's got a degree from Cambridge. When I bowled to him, I used to give him a mouthful. But I never understood what he said back to me."
Old but still good:
1. Rod Marsh & Ian Botham: When Botham took guard in an Ashes match, Marsh welcomed him to the wicket with the immortal words: "So how's your wife & my kids?"
2. Daryll Cullinan & Shane Warne: As Cullinan was on his way to the wicket, Warne told him he had been waiting 2 years for another chance to humiliate him. "Looks like you spent it eating," Cullinan retorted.
3. Glenn McGrath (bowling to portly Zimbabwean chicken farmer Eddo Brandes): "Hey Eddo, why are you so F**ing Fat?" Eddo Brandes: "Because everytime I F*** your mother, she gives me a biscuit"
4. Robin Smith & Merv Hughes during 1989 Lords Test Hughes said to Smith after he played& missed:"You can't f**king bat". Smith to Hughes after he smacked him to theboundary: "Hey Merv, we make a fine pair. I can't f**king bat & you can't f**king bowl."
5. Merv Hughes & Javed Miandad during 1991 Adelaide Test, Javed called Merv a fat bus conductor. A few balls later Merv dismissed Javed: "Tickets please", Merv called out as he ran past the departing batsman.
6. Merv Hughes & Viv Richards during a test match in the West Indies, Hughes didn't say a word to Viv, but continued to stare at him after deliveries. "This is my island, my culture. Don't you be staring at me. In my culture we just bowl." Merv didn't reply, but after he dismissed him he announced to the batsman: "In my culture we just say f**k *ff."
7. Ian Healy his legendary comment which was picked up by the Channel 9 microphones when Arjuna Ranatunga called for a runner on a particularly hot night during a one dayer in Sydney... "You don't get a runner for being an overweight, unfit, fat c***!!!"
8. James Ormond had just come out to bat on an ashes tour and was greeted by Mark Waugh....... MW : "f*** me, look who it is. Mate, what are you doing out here, there's no way you're good enough to play for England" JO : "Maybe not, but at least i'm the best player in my family"
9. McGrath to Ramnaresh Sarwan: "So what does Brian Lara's d*ck taste like?" Sarwan: "I don't know. Ask your wife." McGrath (losing it): "If you ever effing mention my wife again, I'll F*ing rip your F*fing throat out."
10. Mark Waugh standing at second slip, the new player (Adam Parore) comes to the crease playing & missing the first ball. Mark - "Ohh, I remember you from a couple years ago in Australia. You were shit then you're fu*king useless now". Parore- (Turning around) "Yeah, that's me & when I was there you were going out with that old, ugly sl*t & now I hear you've married her. You dumb c*nt".
11. Yet another Australian witticism with this time porky Sri Lankan batsman Arjuna Ranatunga the victim. Shane Warne, trying to tempt the batsman out of his crease mused what it took to get the plump character to get out of his crease and drive. Wicketkeeper Ian Healy piped up, "Put a Mars Bar on a good length. That should do it."
12. Ravi Shastri v/s the aussie 12th man .Shastri hits it to this guy and looks for a single...this guy gets the ball in and says "if you leave the crease i'll break your f***ing head" Shastri: "if you could bat as well as you can talk you wouldn't be the f***ing 12th man"
13. Malcolm Marshall was bowling to David Boon who had played and missed a couple of times. Marshall : "Now David, Are you going to get out now or am I going to have to bowl around the wicket and kill you?"
14. Fred Trueman. The batsman edges and the ball goes to first slip,and right between Raman Subba Row's legs. Fred doesn't say a word. At the end of the over, Row ambles past Trueman and apologises sheepishly. "I should've kept my legs together, Fred". "So should your mother" he replied.
15. Another one for the Ashes was Atherton, if you think of his well spoken tone, he nicked one to Ian Healy at the MCG and didnt walk and was given not out, Healy shouted at him '' You cheating bastard'', Athers replies with 'when in Rome old boy, when in Rome".
1. Rod Marsh & Ian Botham: When Botham took guard in an Ashes match, Marsh welcomed him to the wicket with the immortal words: "So how's your wife & my kids?"
2. Daryll Cullinan & Shane Warne: As Cullinan was on his way to the wicket, Warne told him he had been waiting 2 years for another chance to humiliate him. "Looks like you spent it eating," Cullinan retorted.
3. Glenn McGrath (bowling to portly Zimbabwean chicken farmer Eddo Brandes): "Hey Eddo, why are you so F**ing Fat?" Eddo Brandes: "Because everytime I F*** your mother, she gives me a biscuit"
4. Robin Smith & Merv Hughes during 1989 Lords Test Hughes said to Smith after he played& missed:"You can't f**king bat". Smith to Hughes after he smacked him to theboundary: "Hey Merv, we make a fine pair. I can't f**king bat & you can't f**king bowl."
5. Merv Hughes & Javed Miandad during 1991 Adelaide Test, Javed called Merv a fat bus conductor. A few balls later Merv dismissed Javed: "Tickets please", Merv called out as he ran past the departing batsman.
6. Merv Hughes & Viv Richards during a test match in the West Indies, Hughes didn't say a word to Viv, but continued to stare at him after deliveries. "This is my island, my culture. Don't you be staring at me. In my culture we just bowl." Merv didn't reply, but after he dismissed him he announced to the batsman: "In my culture we just say f**k *ff."
7. Ian Healy his legendary comment which was picked up by the Channel 9 microphones when Arjuna Ranatunga called for a runner on a particularly hot night during a one dayer in Sydney... "You don't get a runner for being an overweight, unfit, fat c***!!!"
8. James Ormond had just come out to bat on an ashes tour and was greeted by Mark Waugh....... MW : "f*** me, look who it is. Mate, what are you doing out here, there's no way you're good enough to play for England" JO : "Maybe not, but at least i'm the best player in my family"
9. McGrath to Ramnaresh Sarwan: "So what does Brian Lara's d*ck taste like?" Sarwan: "I don't know. Ask your wife." McGrath (losing it): "If you ever effing mention my wife again, I'll F*ing rip your F*fing throat out."
10. Mark Waugh standing at second slip, the new player (Adam Parore) comes to the crease playing & missing the first ball. Mark - "Ohh, I remember you from a couple years ago in Australia. You were shit then you're fu*king useless now". Parore- (Turning around) "Yeah, that's me & when I was there you were going out with that old, ugly sl*t & now I hear you've married her. You dumb c*nt".
11. Yet another Australian witticism with this time porky Sri Lankan batsman Arjuna Ranatunga the victim. Shane Warne, trying to tempt the batsman out of his crease mused what it took to get the plump character to get out of his crease and drive. Wicketkeeper Ian Healy piped up, "Put a Mars Bar on a good length. That should do it."
12. Ravi Shastri v/s the aussie 12th man .Shastri hits it to this guy and looks for a single...this guy gets the ball in and says "if you leave the crease i'll break your f***ing head" Shastri: "if you could bat as well as you can talk you wouldn't be the f***ing 12th man"
13. Malcolm Marshall was bowling to David Boon who had played and missed a couple of times. Marshall : "Now David, Are you going to get out now or am I going to have to bowl around the wicket and kill you?"
14. Fred Trueman. The batsman edges and the ball goes to first slip,and right between Raman Subba Row's legs. Fred doesn't say a word. At the end of the over, Row ambles past Trueman and apologises sheepishly. "I should've kept my legs together, Fred". "So should your mother" he replied.
15. Another one for the Ashes was Atherton, if you think of his well spoken tone, he nicked one to Ian Healy at the MCG and didnt walk and was given not out, Healy shouted at him '' You cheating bastard'', Athers replies with 'when in Rome old boy, when in Rome".
The James Ormond/Marl Waugh is my fave. Well played.
So are the Aussies going to drop MJ or what? Ponting is a ruthless enough cunt when he wants to be, and apparently MJ was no great shakes against Northants.
[quote author=doctor_mac link=topic=33622.msg914045#msg914045 date=1248851434]
So are the Aussies going to drop MJ or what? Ponting is a ruthless enough cunt when he wants to be, and apparently MJ was no great shakes against Northants.
[/quote]
Word is that both he and Siddle could get dropped.
I'd be surprised. Johnson has still taken 8 wickets this Series, of course he's done that for about 2356891045 runs, but his capacity to get players out hasn't totally escaped him, so if he can tone down the run-rate - he's in with a shot.
Who knows what they're gonna do? But remember this is a side that shocked everyone by starting the first test with Hilfenhaus in ahead of Clark, so whatever side they put out at Edgbaston shouldn't really surprise.
So are the Aussies going to drop MJ or what? Ponting is a ruthless enough cunt when he wants to be, and apparently MJ was no great shakes against Northants.
[/quote]
Word is that both he and Siddle could get dropped.
I'd be surprised. Johnson has still taken 8 wickets this Series, of course he's done that for about 2356891045 runs, but his capacity to get players out hasn't totally escaped him, so if he can tone down the run-rate - he's in with a shot.
Who knows what they're gonna do? But remember this is a side that shocked everyone by starting the first test with Hilfenhaus in ahead of Clark, so whatever side they put out at Edgbaston shouldn't really surprise.
[quote author=Ryan link=topic=33622.msg914170#msg914170 date=1248865959]
[quote author=doctor_mac link=topic=33622.msg914045#msg914045 date=1248851434]
So are the Aussies going to drop MJ or what? Ponting is a ruthless enough cunt when he wants to be, and apparently MJ was no great shakes against Northants.
[/quote]
Word is that both he and Siddle could get dropped.
I'd be surprised. Johnson has still taken 8 wickets this Series, of course he's done that for about 2356891045 runs, but his capacity to get players out hasn't totally escaped him, so if he can tone down the run-rate - he's in with a shot.
Who knows what they're gonna do? But remember this is a side that shocked everyone by starting the first test with Hilfenhaus in ahead of Clark, so whatever side they put out at Edgbaston shouldn't really surprise.
[/quote]
Hilfenhaus has adapted to English conditions brilliantly TBF.
[quote author=doctor_mac link=topic=33622.msg914045#msg914045 date=1248851434]
So are the Aussies going to drop MJ or what? Ponting is a ruthless enough cunt when he wants to be, and apparently MJ was no great shakes against Northants.
[/quote]
Word is that both he and Siddle could get dropped.
I'd be surprised. Johnson has still taken 8 wickets this Series, of course he's done that for about 2356891045 runs, but his capacity to get players out hasn't totally escaped him, so if he can tone down the run-rate - he's in with a shot.
Who knows what they're gonna do? But remember this is a side that shocked everyone by starting the first test with Hilfenhaus in ahead of Clark, so whatever side they put out at Edgbaston shouldn't really surprise.
[/quote]
Hilfenhaus has adapted to English conditions brilliantly TBF.
I really can't see it. The pressure is really building on him. He went for a run a ball against Northants FFS!! One fer 100 odds.
Looks like he will play- though he'll be used differently according to Punter:
Australia look set to keep faith with the out-of-form Mitchell Johnson for the third Ashes Test – but the captain, Ricky Ponting, has admitted they may use the paceman "in a slightly different way" than in the opening two games of the series.
Ponting revealed that Johnson may not take the new ball against England at Edgbaston as his side look to claw back a 1-0 deficit. Johnson has struggled to reproduce the kind of performances which helped Australia to triumph in their winter series in South Africa, but Ponting was encouraged by Johnson's display in the warm-up game against Northamptonshire last week, even though his figures were modest.
Ponting said: "We've all looked pretty closely at what Mitchell has done and there has been a lot of talk about his technique and his action being all over the place, and we've had some good close looks at that.
"It is actually not. At the moment it is more of a confidence thing. Probably in this game we will look at using him in a slightly different way than we have in the first couple of games and using him more as a strike, impact bowler.
"He has had the ability to strike for us. He has taken eight wickets in two games so that part of his game is still there, so we have got to look at using him in different ways.
"We just last week tried to get back to the basics for him and let him go into the game at Northampton without a great deal of expectation, just to run in and bowl and clear his mind, and be clear about what he wants to do.
"Although his figures did not look flattering, towards the latter part of the game he started to get the ball through at a really good pace. You could see he was a lot clearer in what he was trying to achieve and what he was trying to do."
However, Ponting added: "Will he open the bowling? Not necessarily. With all the talk about the ball here and how much it swings here in England, that is why he has been a bit off the boil. He has tried too hard to swing the new ball. The new ball has not swung at all. It has swung later in the innings."
Ponting is expecting the wicket to take spin and was full of praise for the performances of Nathan Hauritz at Cardiff and Lord's.
He said: "We have talked about a lot of scenarios over the last couple of days, what will be the right balance for these conditions. The wicket is drier than I thought it would be. But I saw England had named two spinners in their squad and it did not make any sense to do that if the pitch wasn't like that.
"It is still not overly hard on top so there will be something there for the seamers as well. That wicket looks like it will spin pretty much straight away because it is a bit soft on top. Generally when the ball seams, it spins. I think this one will spin.
"There is always a place for a quality spinner and Nathan has done all we could expect of him in the first couple of games, if not a bit more. I thought he bowled beautifully at Cardiff and got the early wickets in the second innings at Lord's."
Ponting also insists he has no regrets about putting England in to bat in the corresponding game four years ago, after Glenn McGrath was injured before play, when the hosts scored more than 400 on the first day.
"I will do what I think is right to do on the day and what the wicket and overhead conditions say we should do, which is what I did in 2005. The make-up of the side could have some bearing on where we go. It will be nice to win a toss in this series."
Australia look set to keep faith with the out-of-form Mitchell Johnson for the third Ashes Test – but the captain, Ricky Ponting, has admitted they may use the paceman "in a slightly different way" than in the opening two games of the series.
Ponting revealed that Johnson may not take the new ball against England at Edgbaston as his side look to claw back a 1-0 deficit. Johnson has struggled to reproduce the kind of performances which helped Australia to triumph in their winter series in South Africa, but Ponting was encouraged by Johnson's display in the warm-up game against Northamptonshire last week, even though his figures were modest.
Ponting said: "We've all looked pretty closely at what Mitchell has done and there has been a lot of talk about his technique and his action being all over the place, and we've had some good close looks at that.
"It is actually not. At the moment it is more of a confidence thing. Probably in this game we will look at using him in a slightly different way than we have in the first couple of games and using him more as a strike, impact bowler.
"He has had the ability to strike for us. He has taken eight wickets in two games so that part of his game is still there, so we have got to look at using him in different ways.
"We just last week tried to get back to the basics for him and let him go into the game at Northampton without a great deal of expectation, just to run in and bowl and clear his mind, and be clear about what he wants to do.
"Although his figures did not look flattering, towards the latter part of the game he started to get the ball through at a really good pace. You could see he was a lot clearer in what he was trying to achieve and what he was trying to do."
However, Ponting added: "Will he open the bowling? Not necessarily. With all the talk about the ball here and how much it swings here in England, that is why he has been a bit off the boil. He has tried too hard to swing the new ball. The new ball has not swung at all. It has swung later in the innings."
Ponting is expecting the wicket to take spin and was full of praise for the performances of Nathan Hauritz at Cardiff and Lord's.
He said: "We have talked about a lot of scenarios over the last couple of days, what will be the right balance for these conditions. The wicket is drier than I thought it would be. But I saw England had named two spinners in their squad and it did not make any sense to do that if the pitch wasn't like that.
"It is still not overly hard on top so there will be something there for the seamers as well. That wicket looks like it will spin pretty much straight away because it is a bit soft on top. Generally when the ball seams, it spins. I think this one will spin.
"There is always a place for a quality spinner and Nathan has done all we could expect of him in the first couple of games, if not a bit more. I thought he bowled beautifully at Cardiff and got the early wickets in the second innings at Lord's."
Ponting also insists he has no regrets about putting England in to bat in the corresponding game four years ago, after Glenn McGrath was injured before play, when the hosts scored more than 400 on the first day.
"I will do what I think is right to do on the day and what the wicket and overhead conditions say we should do, which is what I did in 2005. The make-up of the side could have some bearing on where we go. It will be nice to win a toss in this series."
It depends on what the Aussies want really. If they want a 5th bowler then it has to be Watson coming in for Hughes (unless they drop North who scored a ton in the 1st match).
Like Ryan said MJ is still picking up wickets and he does have the potential to be a match winner + He's proven to be quite useful with the bat as well.
If they do drop him, then without Lee there attack seems very friendly indeed pace wise and they have a longer tail.
Like Ryan said MJ is still picking up wickets and he does have the potential to be a match winner + He's proven to be quite useful with the bat as well.
If they do drop him, then without Lee there attack seems very friendly indeed pace wise and they have a longer tail.
There has been extensive discussion of the state of the pitch on Radio 5 Live. The groundsman, who is a former professional cricketer, says that because of all the rain lately, the water table is very high. This, he says will produce a slow wicket which will not offer much help to the bowlers.
The groundsman predicts a draw!
I will have a look at the bookies' odds.
The groundsman predicts a draw!
I will have a look at the bookies' odds.
[quote author=Portly link=topic=33622.msg914199#msg914199 date=1248868680]
There has been extensive discussion of the state of the pitch on Radio 5 Live. The groundsman, who is a former professional cricketer, says that because of all the rain lately, the water table is very high. This, he says will produce a slow wicket which will not offer much help to the bowlers.
The groundsman predicts a draw!
I will have a look at the bookies' odds.
[/quote]
The odds are very short on less than 20 overs being bowled on the 1st day. They showed pictures of the ground on the TV this morning and there were puddles everywhere.
There has been extensive discussion of the state of the pitch on Radio 5 Live. The groundsman, who is a former professional cricketer, says that because of all the rain lately, the water table is very high. This, he says will produce a slow wicket which will not offer much help to the bowlers.
The groundsman predicts a draw!
I will have a look at the bookies' odds.
[/quote]
The odds are very short on less than 20 overs being bowled on the 1st day. They showed pictures of the ground on the TV this morning and there were puddles everywhere.
The team that bats first will be the only team with even a hope of winning. This is a huge toss, and I hope Punter continues his form. Which England Captain was it that used to always (almost) lose the toss?
Hughes dropped for third Test
30th July 2009, 8:00 WST
Young opener Phil Hughes has reportedly been dropped and replaced by Shane Watson in the Australian team for the third Ashes Test starting tonight (6pm WA time).
The Australian says sources close to the team revealed 20-year-old Hughes will make way for the all-rounder after struggling in the first two Tests of the series.
Watson would not only take over at the top of the batting order but provide another fast bowling option as cover if paceman Mitchell Johnson’s form slump continues.
Hughes has made scores of 36, 4 and 17 in the series and critics believe England’s pace bowlers, led by Andrew Flintoff, have shown the diminutive opener to be susceptible to rising deliveries.
If dropped, it will cap a dramatic reversal for Hughes, who started the series with an average of 63 from his initial three Tests in South Africa.
30th July 2009, 8:00 WST
Young opener Phil Hughes has reportedly been dropped and replaced by Shane Watson in the Australian team for the third Ashes Test starting tonight (6pm WA time).
The Australian says sources close to the team revealed 20-year-old Hughes will make way for the all-rounder after struggling in the first two Tests of the series.
Watson would not only take over at the top of the batting order but provide another fast bowling option as cover if paceman Mitchell Johnson’s form slump continues.
Hughes has made scores of 36, 4 and 17 in the series and critics believe England’s pace bowlers, led by Andrew Flintoff, have shown the diminutive opener to be susceptible to rising deliveries.
If dropped, it will cap a dramatic reversal for Hughes, who started the series with an average of 63 from his initial three Tests in South Africa.
It is probably a good call by Punter.
And we are off. Aussies win the toss and choose to bat. Only 25 overs today due to the rain. Brad Haddin broke a finger 2 minutes before the game started, so England gave permission for the back up keeper to be subbed in. Bonus.
Anderson opens with the new ball.
Anderson opens with the new ball.
S
Squiggles
Guest
A draw would suit England nicely
[quote author=Loch Ness Monster link=topic=33622.msg915221#msg915221 date=1248969665]
And we are off. Aussies win the toss and choose to bat. Only 25 overs today due to the rain. Brad Haddin broke a finger 2 minutes before the game started, so England gave permission for the back up keeper to be subbed in. Bonus.
Anderson opens with the new ball.
[/quote]
Why?
Fuck the convict cunts (apologies to James and Danielle). Did we have to let them sub or could we have made him play?
And we are off. Aussies win the toss and choose to bat. Only 25 overs today due to the rain. Brad Haddin broke a finger 2 minutes before the game started, so England gave permission for the back up keeper to be subbed in. Bonus.
Anderson opens with the new ball.
[/quote]
Why?
Fuck the convict cunts (apologies to James and Danielle). Did we have to let them sub or could we have made him play?
Hahahahaha
Cheers Mr. Cricket. Great start by Onions.
Cheers Mr. Cricket. Great start by Onions.
We could have made them play without a WK. Too nice, that's our trouble.
[quote author=Piedro link=topic=33622.msg915607#msg915607 date=1249001212]
[quote author=Loch Ness Monster link=topic=33622.msg915221#msg915221 date=1248969665]
And we are off. Aussies win the toss and choose to bat. Only 25 overs today due to the rain. Brad Haddin broke a finger 2 minutes before the game started, so England gave permission for the back up keeper to be subbed in. Bonus.
Anderson opens with the new ball.
[/quote]
Why?
Fuck the convict cunts (apologies to James and Danielle). Did we have to let them sub or could we have made him play?
[/quote]
We couldn't have made him play but we could have insisted they play without a replacement, i.e.with only 10 in their side. In other words we actually didn't have to let them bring a sub in, but the Aussies would undoubtedly have allowed us to do so if the boot had been on the other foot.
[quote author=Loch Ness Monster link=topic=33622.msg915221#msg915221 date=1248969665]
And we are off. Aussies win the toss and choose to bat. Only 25 overs today due to the rain. Brad Haddin broke a finger 2 minutes before the game started, so England gave permission for the back up keeper to be subbed in. Bonus.
Anderson opens with the new ball.
[/quote]
Why?
Fuck the convict cunts (apologies to James and Danielle). Did we have to let them sub or could we have made him play?
[/quote]
We couldn't have made him play but we could have insisted they play without a replacement, i.e.with only 10 in their side. In other words we actually didn't have to let them bring a sub in, but the Aussies would undoubtedly have allowed us to do so if the boot had been on the other foot.
