I wish I had a lijnders.
I'm sorry, I'm a very busy man, here is my substitute. He appears whenever I really don't give a shit about something and think it's beneath my effort. He's so enthusiastic and verbose however, that you can't really be upset at me halfassing this meaningless presentation. Look, look! Look at his round smiling face. See, isn't that better? You think I would have been a tenth of that excited to be here?