Lucas Leiva On Twitter

[Roopy]

Now, I've never used Twitter or visited a Twitter site.

But today my friend was sending me quotes from Lucas' twitter... and I found some of this shit pretty funny.

If only Lucas' was as good on the pitch as he is with comedy ... Actually it's probably a fake account but anyway....

1. Its all settled down now. Dan Agger has his heavy metal on, Masch is shadow boxing, Dirks doing sit ups asking Rafa to 'watch me, watch me'

2. Big moment for me this, game of noughts and crosses with Dirk. Rafa has set it up. I see the winner of this gaining the seat next to him.

3. Aquilani and Degen have made a 'den' at the back of the coach out of sleeping bags. Sign on the front of it saying 'No Physios Allowed'

4. Jamie did a few prank calls on Phil Neville. Just repeatedly saying 'Ya shit, ya shit lad'. We played the Rizla game - I got Kasey Keller.

5. Kyrgiakos now sitting with the driver. Telling him that he's 'A carnivore, plain and simple. Only the weak and women eat anything green'.

6. Dirks been giving Rafa wine. I can tell when hes drunk because he stares at me disappointingly saying he wishes he'd got a receipt for me.

7. Brighter note, Pepe brought Uno. Jamie getting really competitive. Hes already hit Plessis & he wasnt even playing. He was 'putting him off'

8. Aquilani has hurt himself in the den. Typical. He can't move to get out and because of the sign, none of our physios can go in. Real dilemma

9. Its a papercut. He's out of Thursdays match. Looks like I'll be playing again. At least I'm not travelling all this way for nothing.

10. Carra and Stevie sharing headphones listening to some loud Scouse House. Rafa is really drunk now.

11. He's singing 'Que Sera' with his arm round my neck. This is just like I imagined it. Dirk is watching on enviously. 1-0 to Leiva.

12. Few ppl in their pyjamas now. Either NGog has a baseball bat down there or hes one blessed, blessed boy. Jesús Christi its like another arm!

13. Off to try and get some sleep now. Nabil 'n Babel still rapping in Dutch and French together. Kyrgiakos sleeping standing up, fists clenched

 

[franklyfrank]

Obviously not from him but very funny nonetheless.

 

[Mamma Mia]

"probably"

 

[Skullflower]

not even 'quite' funny

 

[zlatan18]

hahaha thats some funny shit 🙂

 

[Jürgen4PM]

Dirks doing sit ups asking Rafa to 'watch me, watch me'

11. He's singing 'Que Sera' with his arm round my neck. This is just like I imagined it. Dirk is watching on enviously. 1-0 to Leiva.


Haha

 

[the count]

[quote author=Skullflower link=topic=39887.msg1091169#msg1091169 date=1271859200]
not even 'quite' funny
[/quote]

I laughed.

 

[Pesam]

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

I'm laughing at those of you who found the original post funny.

 

[Mersey86]

[quote author=Pesam link=topic=39887.msg1091177#msg1091177 date=1271860233]
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

I'm laughing at those of you who found the original post funny.
[/quote]
So everybody's happy, then. Nice.

 

[doctor_mac]

The characterisation of Zorba is pretty funny.


...
Screw that, Soto has an industrial sized tub of Houmous. And no bread. Or spoon. Its like a drink to him. He's a monster.
...
I lent on Sotos chair by accident. Big mistake. Apparently I've 'compromised Olympus'. He's now spouting poetry in Greek with his eyes shut.

 

[Buddha]

[quote author=Mamma Mia link=topic=39887.msg1091168#msg1091168 date=1271859110]
"probably"
[/quote]

jury's out.

 

[Oncy]

The Greek is fucking amazing.

 

[Loch Ness Monster]

[quote author=doctor_mac link=topic=39887.msg1091179#msg1091179 date=1271860636]
The characterisation of Zorba is pretty funny.


...
Screw that, Soto has an industrial sized tub of Houmous. And no bread. Or spoon. Its like a drink to him. He's a monster.
...
I lent on Sotos chair by accident. Big mistake. Apparently I've 'compromised Olympus'. He's now spouting poetry in Greek with his eyes shut.
[/quote]

I love this. And the fact he sleeps standing up, fists clenched.

 

[Friend no. 2]

thi=at is absolutely brilliant!!

 

[Dreambeliever]

Strange some wouldn't find parts of that hilarious.

The Greek bits are quality.

 

[SummerOnions]

[quote author=Roopy link=topic=39887.msg1091163#msg1091163 date=1271858844]

12. Few ppl in their pyjamas now. Either NGog has a baseball bat down there or hes one blessed, blessed boy. Jesús Christi its like another arm!

13. Off to try and get some sleep now. Nabil 'n Babel still rapping in Dutch and French together. Kyrgiakos sleeping standing up, fists clenched
[/quote]

ahahahaha.

 

[Ryan]

[quote author=Pesam link=topic=39887.msg1091177#msg1091177 date=1271860233]
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

I'm laughing at those of you who found the original post funny.
[/quote]

Exactly.

 

[Bradley]

[quote author=Loch Ness Monster link=topic=39887.msg1091222#msg1091222 date=1271873699]
[quote author=doctor_mac link=topic=39887.msg1091179#msg1091179 date=1271860636]
The characterisation of Zorba is pretty funny.


...
Screw that, Soto has an industrial sized tub of Houmous. And no bread. Or spoon. Its like a drink to him. He's a monster.
...
I lent on Sotos chair by accident. Big mistake. Apparently I've 'compromised Olympus'. He's now spouting poetry in Greek with his eyes shut.
[/quote]

I love this. And the fact he sleeps standing up, fists clenched.
[/quote]

That worked for me.

Titter titter.

 

[Jack D Rips]

So the guys who think its funny, just think its funny, and dont think that the guys who dont think its funny, are funny, and the guys who dont think its funny, think the guys who do think its funny, are funny.

 

[The Slugmonster]

[quote author=Jack D Rips link=topic=39887.msg1091420#msg1091420 date=1271926760]
So the guys who think its funny, just think its funny, and dont think that the guys who dont think its funny, are funny, and the guys who dont think its funny, think the guys who do think its funny, are funny.
[/quote]

Oh the greeks gonna get you 8)

 

[Holle]

Quiet enough to go to sleep now. Dreaming about scoring at the Vicente Calderón. I'd be quite happy with several passes back to Jamie though

Don't know who brought the football on board, Masch has started repeatedly trying to slide tackle it. Like a bull to a red cloth...

All settled down. Aqua is sleeping with one eye open (not sure he can help it), Stevie is listening to some Meat Loaf and Degen is limping.

A sight for sore eyes, Rafa trying to hold a naked Jamie back from writhing all over Plessis back on the floor. I wish I was Jamie right now

All thats woken Jamie up. He's not happy. He's completely naked shouting "who the fucks woke me up." He's gone for Plessis again.

Rafa was doing his best to ignore it but finally responded. "You shouldn't still be here. You were signed to make an agent happy". Silence.

He's gone insane, too much sugar. He's shouting at Rafa saying 'Why am I even here. Please tell me why' with tears pouring down his face.

El Zhar is also still up. Saw him drink a 3 litre bottle of Cherry Coke before so he'll be up till dawn.

Soto is Kyrgiakos for those who are asking, first name is Sotirios. He introduces himself as merely a 'child of Zeus with ankles of Steel'.

He doesnt just talk in his sleep, he has actual conversations. He seems to be arguing that there is no better smell than driving past a farm

Been trying to sleep for hours. Soto talks & smokes a pipe in his sleep. I dread to think what tobacco it is, but it smells like raw meat.

Toilets humming. Sammy was about to use the air freshener, Soto stopped him - 'it is a pure and manly smell that must not be tampered with'.

Someones clogged the toilet up. Rafa has a guilty look. Must have been his beer poo earlier on. Stevie says he saw Dirk sniffing the seat.

Nabils just nipped into a souvenir shop and bought a laser pen. Him and Ryan having an absolute ball with it. Masch really disapproving.

Few nice ladies walked into our carriage. Pepe quickly put his shades on and strolled over to them. I wish I had that charisma. What a man.

TV report about an Iran cleric saying that women dressing inappropriately caused the earthquake there. Kyrgiakos nodding fiercely.

Had to stop off for a couple of hours for Agger to get a new tattoo. His new is of a pouncing Hawk Owl, getting it done on his upper thigh.

Soto asking all passengers if they want their toenails cut by Machete. Says its the 'natural way'. God knows how he got it through customs.

Settled down now. Stevie is watching Steven Gerrard : Centurion on DVD, Aquilanis finger is in plaster, Rafa trying to beat himself at chess

Hes truly lost it now. Hes in the toilet frantically cutting his own hair, muttering 'survival of the fittest'. NGog trying to stop him.

Soto is doing his daily sermon. He's telling us that the Volcano was Zeus's vengeance for us allowing the obese to live.

I asked him directly. He was about to tell me who it was before Jamie stepped in & told him not to be a "snitch house grass". I dont get it.

The key to this mystery is Pellegrino. He's nocturnal (on non-match days) so he must've seen it all happen.

Aquilani because Im keeping him out the team, Soto because I 'compromised Olympus', Dirk because I got the seat next to Rafa. Its a mystery.

Cavalieri bought me an inflatable travel pillow yesterday. Was having a great sleep until someone popped it in the night. Got a few suspects

Its so hot because Kyrgiakos has turned the heating up to full. When questioned about it he replies with only : "This is a mans world"

Boiling hot on this train. Nabil n Babel have (typically) taken their tops off to expose their shaven chests. Nabil's nipples are pierced.

Sammy chased after him, this was two hours ago and we still haven't seen either of them since.

Knocked Plessis to the floor and said 'whos the smallest on the train now you prick'. Plessis got up, edged away and said 'still you'.

We got Sammy Lee and Insua back to back to see who is taller. Insua was, just. Sammy wasnt having it and went for Plessis.

Stopped off for lunch at a Michelin Star French restaurant. Jamie&Stevie had egg & chips. Agger had to eat standing up, his backs gone again

Rafa was really hungover. Good job my mum packed the Calprofen, he called me a 'life saver'. I am Weak. At. The. Knees.

Carra threw his shoe at him & screeched "what fuckin time do you call this you Greek tit" Didnt seem to affect Soto, I think hes in a trance

He blew it, thrice, and shouted "and so signals the start of a new day", looked to the floor and bowed.

Sorry guys, had no connection. Few updates, was woken up very early this morning (6am) - by Kyrgiakos

 

[The Slugmonster]

Lay off the gear you doped up rodent

 

[RolandG]

Some funny stuff there!

 

[manwithnoname]

That's more entertainment than the cunt has ever gien me on a football pitch