I'd be much more interested to hear the conversation with the barman:
GERRARD: Okay, la, can I just dry me hands?
BARMAN: You've not been washing them AGAIN?
GERRARD: Well, I touched a couple of people. They were slightly dirty.
BARMAN: Okay, but it's not natural, you know, lad.
GERRARD: [Starts drying them] I just...want them...nice and...clean.
BARMAN: That's probably enough, son.
GERRARD: Clean...mmmm...must be clean...
BARMAN: Look, lad, you'll wear your hands out at this rate!
GERRARD: Mmmm, perfectly clean...no germs...clean...
BARMAN: Okay, you're beginning to scare me now.
GERRARD: Just a bit more...a bit more...just a bit more...wipe all the dirt away...
BARMAN: I'm sure they're spotless now, Stevie. Really, lad, leave it.
GERRARD: Just...a...tiny...bit...left...mmmm...DONE! Thanks, la! See ya!
BARMAN: That's okay, Ste- OI! You've just dumped a bloody dirty towel down here! Bastard!