It's often strange that we have such wildly differing standards between what we accept in others and what we accept in ourselves - in both directions.
Sometimes we might mercilessly harangue ourselves over a minor incident that would barely register had another person done it, and yet we also accept levels of internal dialogue that we would *never* put up with from somebody else.
That said - I guess it comes back to the fact that you can avoid other people and cut them out of your life. If they've pissed you off or have been rude to you you can decide "Right, fuck 'em, I'm having nothing to do with that person anymore" - but it's hard to do that to yourself.
Really it's no wonder we don't like ourselves sometimes. Would we like anybody who was so harsh to us? Would we remain friends with somebody that constantly reminded us of our flaws and delighted in tormenting us over our insecurities? How could we stay close to someone who acted such a cunt towards us so often, and with such spite and venom?
We all know that we've got to work at relationships with friends and family and loved ones, but it's easy to forget that sometimes we've got to work at our relationship with ourselves as well. We've got to try to be nice to ourselves. To be understanding of our weaknesses, forgiving of our flaws, patient with our problems.
There's some saying that goes along the lines of when you dislike a person something as simple as the way in which they hold their cutlery can drive you almost insane with rage, and yet if you're well disposed towards them they could tip their plate in your lap and you'd find a way to forgive them.
Too often we're intolerant and judgemental of ourselves.
When you hate somebody it doesn't matter how many representations others may make on their behalf, or how nice everyone says they are, or how well-liked they are, or all of the evidence to the contrary - as far as you're concerned they're just a cunt, a prick, a fucking arsehole and a twat. The hatred may be irrational, but hatred it is. Equally, when you feel that way about yourself, the reassurances people try to give - that they love you, that they care about you, that you're funny, popular, interesting, intelligent or anything positive is always going to fall on deaf ears. You don't want to hear it, you can't accept it - they haven't seen the other side of 'that person', the horrible side, the side that you hate - they can't see what you see, they don't know who 'that person' - who you - really are.
But they do. They know the person they see and love. The one who isn't a horrible cunt that picks up on every little thing about them and bullies them over it, because that person doesn't do that to them, because that person isn't a horrible cunt to them - he's only a horrible cunt to you. But he doesn't have to be, all he has to do is to treat you - to treat himself - in the same way as he does everybody else.
With love, kindness and forgiveness.
It's okay to be good to yourself.
You won't feel like shit forever, and you certainly don't deserve to feel this way.
You don't deserve to be miserable - it's okay to feel like that if that's how you feel, it's natural and it's just like the millions of other people around the world who feel the same way - but know that you don't deserve it, know that you haven't earned it, know that there is no justification for you being punished your whole life and more than that know that you are not the judge and jury that gets to decide that you are guilty of being a bad person.
To err is human, to forgive is divine