So for those still clinging on to that misplaced faith and optimism with regards to FSG, and for those desperately trying to convince themselves this latest transfer fiasco is not as bad as it looks, I will refer you to this following post going forward...
We could probably start as far back as just after our champions league win. I remember myself and a couple of others saying that now was the time to strengthen. Strengthen while you're on top. Add quality to quality as you go along.
We signed Sepp Van Den Berg in the summer, then Minamino in the January.
Sure, we won the league, but still, a lot of us knew our chickens would be coming home to roost in a few years if we didn't plan for the inevitable decline.
We seemed to make a bit of an attempt at guarding against that. Players like Jota, Konate, Diaz came in and have proven to be decent buys that supplemented the squad. Still, the fact remained that much of that spine was all of a similar age and profile, and if we weren't careful, we'd need to rebuild the entire side all in one go.
We let Lovren go and didn't replace him. Now, I hated the cunt, but expecting Gomez and Matip to stay fit and not get a 4th centre back in was sheer folly. Of course, Weetabix legs and cardboard shins got injured, and then we were scrambling about last minute for any old random. We ended up with Ben Davies who didn't play a minute, Kabak who stunk, and Fabinho and Henderson as centre backs at times. Nat Phillips and Rhys fucking Williams had to step up in the end. Lack of foresight and risk analysis almost cost us a Champions League spot. Thankfully, our fucking goalkeeper scoring a 95th minute winner had a big hand in keeping us in the Champions League. Phew! Close one. Let's not have that happen again, eh?
At some point, Michael Edwards leaves and Julian Ward comes in. I wasn't too thrilled with that, but hey, maybe he's developed into the man for the job.
The midfield is a couple of years older. We're still reliant on Henderson, Fabinho, geriatric Milner, an injury prone Thiago who, for me at least, took us on an unnecessary detour away from what had worked for us before, crocks in Keita and Ox who may as well have not been there, and a couple of kids in Elliott and Jones. We have a good season, nearly win the quad, but we need to start rebuilding that midfield and adding quality from a position of strength.
We go for Tchouameni. He chooses Madrid. Fair enough, that can happen. We decide he's the only guy for us and decide to wait another year. That makes me uncomfortable. In the meantime, we become enamoured with Bellingham and embark on a 2 year courtship of the player.
We settle for a little "cost-effective" gamble in Arthur Melo when things get a little nervous and twitchy. He's a stopgap until Jude signs afterall. In the words of Tony Stark, "not a great plan".
Our midfield falls to bits and it is clear as day for everyone to see that it's an absolute must to strengthen in time for the following season, lest we get left behind and cut adrift. A season outside of the Champions League isn't great, but we'll sort it in the summer and we'll be back.
Julian Ward leaves at some point under mysterious circumstances and no replacement comes in.
The season ends and EVERYONE knows we need a midfielder. Not to worry. That long courtship of Bellingham will bear fruit, right? Nope. Off to Real Madrid. Oh well, that can happen. Let's look elsewhere. Not ideal, but at least we have some good pros that we can add some youth to and help the latter develop and flourish.
Jorg Schmadtke (who!?) comes in for 3 months.
Mac Allister and Szobo sign after we trigger their release clauses. Good stuff. Pretty straight forward.
Lavia... right okay. 19. Young. A prospect. Not played many games, but has a high ceiling. Plays defensive mid where we're already desperate after the glaring holes were made evident followimg an abysmal campaign. They want how much!? Right, let's monitor this. And prepare. And monitor. Let's try and get that fee down. Get Jorg on the phone. What do you mean he's in Ibiza? Just tell him to fax something over...
Saudi Arabia come calling for Henderson and Fabinho, offering ridiculous sums for both. They're both finished, but we need all the bodies we can get in their positions. Fine, let them go, but let's be smart about this. It's a crucial area that we need to improve, that much was made obvious last season. We look at Thuram as well but back out for whatever reason. Too expensive? Balk! Probably.
We needed a DM before Henderson and Fabinho left, everyone knows we're desperate, but FSG hate being taken to the cleaners. Who doesn't love a little haggle, barter and a bargain? Time to shine. Let's spend months pretending we're skint so that we can knock Southampton down from £50m to about £46m. Sure, we're Liverpool. Sure, we can afford it. Yeah £4m over 5 years isn't a lot. Especially when you've already committed £40m plus. But by GOD do we love a thrifty bargain. Besides, the player is desperate for us and nobody else is interested. We hold all the cards.
Fast forward through tedious weeks of incremental bids, stringing the poor lad along and pissing Southampton off, and quite frankly, fucking ourselves over because this is all time that could've been used getting Lavia integrated into our squad and getting used to the way we play. But no, think of the back pats we'll be able to give ourselves when we knock a few quid off.
Suddenly we receive a call from Caicedo's (dodgy as fuck) agent. Yeah, he's gonna cost us, but Chelsea are stalling, he's a great player, and Klopp is a big fan. Forget wheeling and dealing! Do a 180! Break the bank! These completely reputable and trustworthy FOOTBALL AGENTS from SOUTH AMERICA have assured us he'll join us. Swerve Lavia. Never wanted him anyway. BREAK ALL RECORDS FOR CAICEDO! Klopp, do a presser and tell them it's all gravy.
Turns out we got played. Caicedo was never interested in us, we were needed as a stalking horse to get Chelsea to make a bid that Brighton would accept. Mission accomplished. And, oh, we've pissed off Chelsea - these dodgy lunatics with bottomless pits of cash - and now, just for trying to fuck with them, they're going to throw money at Lavia.
Speaking of whom, Lavia's now been made to feel like a right fucking mug as Liverpool have spent what seems like months arguing over pennies, before whipping their (tiny) dick out and placing it on the corner of the table in a bid to entice Caicedo. Problem is, Caicedo had already eyed up Chelsea stroking that 12 inch schlong from across the room. Lavia will still come to us, though, right? Right!?
Wrong. Chelsea put in a better offer than we have all summer, and in a last pathetic, desperate attempt to land someone we've already made feel subpar, we throw in a bid well over what we were ever willing to pay in the first place. Business 101. Lavia, understandably, chooses Chelsea. More money, longer contract, maybe during the negotiations they didn't make him feel like chopped liver? I don't know.
Jorg is probably still in Ibiza. Or Deepdale carpark. Who knows.
So, here we are. Everyone has known for years we're desperate for a central midfielder. Up until now, we'd done a good job of convincing the world we were skint.
But upon revealing our transfer kitty and desperation, we've also revealed something much more deep-rooted and cancerous. We don't have a fucking strategy any more. We don't have a plan. We don't even look like we're trying to formulate one. We used to be the standard bearer for how to get deals done quickly, efficiently and ruthlessly. Now, we're even second choice to a Chelsea in turmoil. Even we can offer more playing time.
We've outed ourselves as cash rich and common sense deprived in a shark tank. Yeah, I'm mixing my metaphors, but fuck it. It's quite apt when discussing these owners, the transfer committee and the club as a whole at the minute. It's a fucking mess. We're ripe for fleecing and we're no longer the prospect we once were.
There was a time when the lure of the badge, of Klopp, of Anfield was enough to sway almost anyone. I didn't think it would end so quickly. And I'm not sure we're capable of pulling that back.
TLDR: We're shit and fucked.
