Benteke - BOOOOOO the puns

[Oncy]

You've opened up an interesting topic there Gene... What's the most epic argument we've ever had on the site?

There was night many years ago when we had a fight thread in the GC.
It turned really nasty as I remember. Marky, Nikeser and Paddy were given awful abuse.

 

[Frogfish]

The biggest issue is not having a DoF for me. That would have made this so much easier.
Rodgers knows what qualities he's looking for and someone like Monchi gets him that.

Except what you've just described is a 'Chief Scout' .. which we have already 😉

 

[Hansern]

Except what you've just described is a 'Chief Scout' .. which we have already 😉

Well, a chief scout wont get you the player. He'll recommend and find someone suitable sure but not follow the process through until he signs.
I'd rather have someone like Monchi at the top. 🙂

 

[Spionkop69]

You told me Peter was a cunt @Spionkop69


*rubs hands with glee*

You post pedantic, semi literate WUM

 

[Hansern]

John Cross thinks its a good signing.

*Alarm bells ringing*

 

[beejay]

Frogfish has nailed this thread throughout.

It looks to me from the acquisitions we have made that we will regularly line up in a 4-4-2 next season with Benteke leading the line and another busy striker playing off him (Firmino/Ings/Origi). We've got some good options there, way better than last year and I'm starting to get just a little excited about the new side.

 

[hmmmmm1]

£30 million i the going rate for strikers of that ilk.

lukaku and bony went for similar monies.

 

[keniget]

Ah, so we're switching to 4-4-2. I'm glad we spent so much time and money getting and nurturing floaty attacking midfielders then.

 

[jexykrodic]

Fuck the floaty types, let's get some goals.
1. Get a new striker.
2. Feed the new striker.
3. Get goals.
4. Win games.
5. Claim to have always liked new striker.

 

[Judge Jules]

You telling Brendan Sissoko would be boss springs to mind.

Who is this guy Brendan Sissoko?

 

[keniget]

Fuck the floaty types, let's get some goals.
1. Get a new striker.
2. Feed the new striker.
3. Get goals.
4. Win games.
5. Claim to have always liked new striker.

I hope it turns out to be that simple.

 

[Red Bird]

£30 million i the going rate for strikers of that ilk.

lukaku and bony went for similar monies.

So did Diego Costa and Sanchez. It all depends where you do your shopping.

 

[dmishra]

Fuck the floaty types, let's get some goals.
1. Get a new striker.
2. Feed the new striker.
3. Get goals.
4. Win games.
5. Claim to have always liked new striker.

Lol.

 

[ibromurph]

So did Diego Costa and Sanchez. It all depends where you do your shopping.

We notably missed out on both those players. So it isn't through lack of trying to be fair.

 

[mark1975]

Ah, so we're switching to 4-4-2. I'm glad we spent so much time and money getting and nurturing floaty attacking midfielders then.

It's pretty obvious we can play a few different systems, I think we'll alternate between 3, 2 or even 1 upfront depending on the game. I don't think Rodgers has ever stuck to a set system and with Benteke it gives us further flexibility. We've got a bit of variation up there with Benteke, Origi, Ings, Sturridge and Firmino, aswell as our other deeper attackers.

 

[FMSPWR]

Like the legend of Dalglish the King
Benteke gets the net bulging
What keeps Benteke playing
Is goals from the beginning.

He's far too hot
to give up on fourth spot
So let's raise our hands
and wave to the fans

He won't give interviews to The Lying Rag
Brendan told him he needs to run
He's up all night to score some
We're up all night for Benteke

We don't talk to The Lying Rag
We want a good cup run
We're up all night to score some
We're up all night for Benteke

We're up all night for Benteke
We're up all night for Benteke
We're up all night for Benteke
We're up all night for Benteke

Brendan is not fibbing
FSG keep on giving
Who is this we're signing?
Sterling has left, I'm with it


We've won too much
to forget who we are
So let's raise the bar
and sign some stars

We don't talk to The Lying Rag
We want a good cup run
We're up all night to score some
We're up all night for Benteke

We're up all night for Benteke
We're up all night for Benteke
We're up all night for Benteke
We're up all night for Benteke

 

[Rosco]

Mystic probably has something better than that in mind

 

[Mystic]

Mystic probably has something better than that in mind

Ben, Ben, Benteke,
Throw your weight around,
Merrily, Merrily, Merrily, Merrily,
Throw them to the ground.

 

[ILD]

We might have to throw out the Craig David Rewind tune to encourage Benteke to move about up front?

Ben-tek-ke,
When the Kop say go, press them.

I was gonna say 'molest them' but felt it was too sexually charged. Ha.

 

[Woland]

Anyone moaning about wasting the sterling money wanna have a cash bet about who gets the most goals and assists next year out of that little shitcunt and bentekkers?

Eh?

 

[Fabio]

Eh?

I doubt anyone will take you up on this

 

[Woland]

This should be the template for his song.

 

[Oliver Twist]

Eh?

I'm up.

I'll take Benteke.

 

[hmmmmm1]

So did Diego Costa and Sanchez. It all depends where you do your shopping.

We are shopping in asda

We will never pay in those players wages.

 

[Red Astaire]

1. I was really enjoying that Peter/D-Mac quarrel until D-Mac went with the 'I've spoken to people who I won't name, but who've met you and claim you're a dick in real life' line. Was I the only one who cringed at that? Seriously? That's a bit low for my liking. You can roll with all the 'fucking prick/pseudo-intellectual' shit all you like cos it's meaningless, but that's a bit personal for my liking. Plus, who are the fucking knobheads who were happy enough to meet Peter, have a beer with him, and then go and call him out to some other random on this site behind his back? Have a look at yourself.

Ha! I bet it was me. The fuzzy haired tart still owes me a tenner from a shared cab ;-) Nah Peter is sound. As are all the London lads. OOTs and proud!

 

[mark1975]

The delay is because Ayre is in Oz. Btw.

 

[Oliver Twist]

The delay is because Ayre is in Oz. Btw.

Really, what the fuck's he doing there?

Who's running this sham?

 

[gene hughes]

You've opened up an interesting topic there Gene... What's the most epic argument we've ever had on the site?

I don't know but it was definitely years ago before the Internet started getting nice.

Fights used to be to the death on forums like this. Now it's like the row described above. Doc basically peeled off his silk glove and threw it in Peter's face. They then pushed each other like five year olds for a minute. No knives. No eye gouging. No headbuts or punches. No roundhouses even attempted! I thought at least Doc would try to grab Peter's ample nipples and twist them, but no.

When newbies used to come here, they used to slip on the bloody floor. Now they're given a cucumber sandwich, told to remove their shoes and asked to fill in a form about allergies.

It used to be the Wild West but the internet, including this place, is gentrified now.

 

[Skullflower]

This should be the template for his song.

'Benteke crappy'?

 

[737Max]

Really, what the fuck's he doing there?

Who's running this sham?

It's the annual CEO being hoisted onto Gods shoulders event.