This was my favourite story from his bio. They used to give Gattuso (Rino) some going over
"Rino's always been my favourite target, top of the table by some distance. This despite the fact that on several occasions he's tried to kill me with a fork. During meal times at Milanello, we'd invent all sorts to torment him and put him on the spot. When he got his verbs wrong (pretty much the whole time), we'd jump on him immediately. And then when he actually got them right, we'd make out that it was still wrong just to wind him up even more. Me, Ambrosini, Nesta, Inzaghi, Abbiati, Oddo: that was the group of bast***s right there.
"Rino, how are you?"
"Bad. We got beat yesterday. I was better if we won."
"Rino, try again. It's: 'I'd be better if we'd won.'"
“But it's the same thing."
"Not exactly, Rino."
"Fine then. I'd be better if we'd won."
"Rino, just how ignorant are you? 'I was better if we won.' That's how you say it."
"But that's what I said before."
"What, Rino?"
"That thing about winning."
"What thing, Rino? Can you repeat it?"
You could see the red mist coming down and he just wasn't able to hide it. We could tell what was coming and so we'd commandeer all the knives. Gattuso would grab a fork and try to stick it in us. On more than one occasion, he struck his intended target and the fork sank into our skin. We were as soft as tuna; the kind you can cut with a breadstick. Some of us ended up missing games because of one of Rino's fork attacks, even if the official explanation from the club was one of “muscle fatigue”.
We'd get out of his way when he got mad but once he'd calmed down and gone to his room, we'd come back out, pile up the sofas in front of the door and block his exit.
"Let me out – training starts in a while."
"Deal with it, terrone."
He'd then go crazy again, smashing up everything in sight. But even when he was angry, he was one of the good guys.
Amongst other things, I've seen Rino catch and eat live snails for a bet. He really does belong in a film."
