Given the subtly racist undertones in this thread, I think this is a good read:
[size=12pt]Here's one white boy El Hadji Diouf failed to offend[/size]
The Senegalese striker may be irritating but as a racial slur 'white boy' doesn't cut it
El Hadji Diouf, who had cross words with a ballboy and claimed bananas were thrown at him by the crowd, talks with the referee, Lee Mason, at Goodison Park during Blackburn's match against Everton. Photograph: Paul Childs/Action Images
I'm finding it extremely difficult to be offended by El Hadji Diouf. Racially, that is. He's offended me in a million other ways. Late tackles, spitting, that weird cornweave thing he does. In many ways he has placed himself on my tits. The idea that saying "white boy" to a white boy, as he has been accused of, is a racial slur, though? Well, that's just nonsense.
In football there is a long and glorious tradition of being appalled and outraged by the behaviour of others, specifically when those others happen to be playing for the opposing team. This is usually about behaviour that we're more than happy to indulge from our own, but that brings us out in an attack of the vapours when done by others. This is the joy of partisanship, to be blokeish and forgiving one minute and fainting like a Victorian lady the next.
I've done my fair share of howling at goalkeepers who suddenly felt the need to slowly change the side they take their kick-outs from, if their team happen to snatch the first goal. If we're ahead, well, that stopper always favours his left doesn't he? Now he's just spreading the play around.
Timekeeping is another example. As fans are constantly complaining about how expensive the tickets are these days, you'd think a few extra minutes added to the end of a game would make everyone happy. Oh goody, they'd say. This 3-3 draw at Old Trafford has been super! I just don't want it to end! Please can we have a few more minutes?
But no. Even in "the current climate" the little bit of extra value for money seems to have divided the room.
Take Craig Bellamy, for yet another, and completely unrelated, example. A week ago I wrote that him being the voice of sanity (photographed calming the away fans in the Adebayor goal celebration) was some sort of sign of the Apocalypse. Craig, duly noting the imminent danger to humanity, only went and punched a supporter the next day. Or at least it looked like he punched him, in that one photo I kept seeing all week. Mark Hughes, whose objectivity isn't up for question, described it as a "push". Maybe we could agree that it was a very … focused push.
Bellamy has always supplied value for money. Particularly in the video game world, where he's the only real person who features in three different games. You can play as Craig Bellamy in FIFA 10, Tekken 6 and Tiger Woods PGA Tour 07.
Anyway, somebody ran on the field and Bellamy sorted him out, escaping during the week with only a warning from the FA. And do you know what? Fair enough. While it's great fun to slag off the little Welsh hothead, I think he was in the right there. Much as some Man United fans might like to complain, including the pitch intrudee in The Lying Rag, if you step on to the field of play, particularly with the clock ticking down at the end of a pulsating match, you can expect some rough treatment.
Of course, if the final whistle is blowing, you're a lower-league team, you've just knocked one of the big boys out of the Cup and it's the entire town running on, well then, that's a beautiful and heart-warming spontaneous celebration (cf Barnsley v Chelsea, FA Cup 2008). No "push" for you.
If you're on your own, however, and the match is still going on, well, then you might get the odd shove to the face. No amount of bleating to the tabloids will make you look like the victim.
Which brings us to Diouf. A famously divisive character, he added to his catalogue of gaffes this week by claiming bananas were thrown at him at Goodison. Sadly, El Hadji, bananas are pretty traceable. They tend to leave a trail of bananas. And there seem to have been precious few bananas lying round.
But this doesn't mean calling somebody "white boy" is a racist slur. And I speak as a white boy. For too long the fact that we're roughly 90% of the population (2001 census) has disguised just how oppressed we whites really are. When he allegedly said "white boy", well it just reminded me of all those other times people called me "white boy" just to put me down, just to make me, and the other 55 million white people in the UK, feel small.
No, of course not. If you're white, you just don't get a go at being the victim of racism. Did that ballboy go home and cry when he was called "white boy"? He didn't. The phrase carries no power at all. What's the insult? He might as well have said "Tall boy!", or "You with the blue eyes!" for all the pain it was going to cause.
For people who complain that it's unfair that white people can't be slurred the way black people can, well, life's just tough isn't it? And for Everton fans who desperately want a provable reason to hate El Hadji Diouf: don't worry, it's El Hadji Diouf. He'll do something else stupid eventually.