What do or did your parents do?
- Thread starter aRdja
- Start date
- Latest activity Latest activity:
jexykrodic said:
part of the reason ... i grew up there (6.5 years), but with that, it was also for ideological reasons too obviously.
T
The Abacus
Guest
Some of this is very interesting.
My Mum was a Purchaser for Honeywell (the electronics firm) and my Father the chief accontant of a local authority in the West country.
They split when I was about 18. They are both retired and remarried.
My Mum will be 70 in October and has already booked her flights to visit me with my Stepdad. My sister and her husband and daughter are coming, as are my Dad and Stepmum.
We will all go out and have a fantastic meal together. My Mum and Dad get on better now than they did when they were together.
That said, my Dad spends half his life jetting off to Spain and Florida and Mum hardly ever goes anywhere!
They split when I was about 18. They are both retired and remarried.
My Mum will be 70 in October and has already booked her flights to visit me with my Stepdad. My sister and her husband and daughter are coming, as are my Dad and Stepmum.
We will all go out and have a fantastic meal together. My Mum and Dad get on better now than they did when they were together.
That said, my Dad spends half his life jetting off to Spain and Florida and Mum hardly ever goes anywhere!
I have to say this is an excellent thread and has brought a lump to my throat aswell as smile on more than one occasion.
Nice to get an insight into peoples lives that we may never have got if this thread hadn't bee started.
Anyway, my go - my mum was a teacher and has now retired although she still does some supply work.
Dad is an architect and although he is 67 is still working.
I like bunnyman now have a better relationship with my Dad since I had my son, we always spoke but we had no common interests (unlike he had with both of my brothers) as he isn't into football, films and music other than Classical and Abba!!
Although I think this is helped by the fact that my older brother, who as the fist-born and apple of his eye, has become a waster doley who can't even be arsed to get out of bed to see his daughter on the one day a week she visits him.
He's quite cool now although he can still moan with the best of them!!
Always had a good relationship with my mum, she took interest in things I did as a kid, footy, rugby etc...
However on the whole, I would say I now get on better with my dad although its good to have them both on side for babysitting duties at weekends!!!
Nice to get an insight into peoples lives that we may never have got if this thread hadn't bee started.
Anyway, my go - my mum was a teacher and has now retired although she still does some supply work.
Dad is an architect and although he is 67 is still working.
I like bunnyman now have a better relationship with my Dad since I had my son, we always spoke but we had no common interests (unlike he had with both of my brothers) as he isn't into football, films and music other than Classical and Abba!!
Although I think this is helped by the fact that my older brother, who as the fist-born and apple of his eye, has become a waster doley who can't even be arsed to get out of bed to see his daughter on the one day a week she visits him.
He's quite cool now although he can still moan with the best of them!!
Always had a good relationship with my mum, she took interest in things I did as a kid, footy, rugby etc...
However on the whole, I would say I now get on better with my dad although its good to have them both on side for babysitting duties at weekends!!!
gene hughes said:
That explains some things.
I wonder if it wasn't part of our parents' generation that dads so often didn't really cultivate a close relationship with their kids. My dad is a Ph.D chemist who spent all of our years at home (youngest of 3 brothers) working or volunteering. He just wasn't around very much, and he wasn't capable of opening up when he was home.
It wasn't until I forced him to start playing golf with me as a 17 yr old that I started really getting to know him. And now, I am the only son living close to my parents, and the only one with a bunch of kids for the grandparents to spoil. We do home improvement projects together, and of course, play golf badly. And for the first time ever, he has started telling me about his childhood. That explains some things as well.
Despair, mostly
Brendan said:
Ha ha. Of you, or the world in general?
Open up, Brendan - this is the touchy-feely thread...
My Dad was a Personnel Director for Sperry Univac which became Unisys and my mum was a professional housewife.
I never bonded with my Dad when I was a kid but now I'm older and he is we have finally reached an understanding with each other. This is good and bad as I'm obviously happy that we have reached this point but with his ailing health I'm not sure how long it will last.
My mum and Dad split up best part of 20 years ago and my mum has been held back by her lack of nous from being "just a housewife". She fends for herself but she's more like a big sister to me. I can tell her absolutely everything.
My stepmum is a book-keeper.
I made a vow to myself that when I was a kid I'd be nothing like my Dad was to me - ie show no interest in my interests - and its a wake up call for me if I feel like I'm being like him with my wonderful son. In spite of the fact my son lives in Northern Ireland we have a wonderful bond and I'm so glad I learnt from my Dad's mistakes - albeit I still make mistakes!!!
But I know that my son and I will always be close - its just something we have subconsciously committed to.
I never bonded with my Dad when I was a kid but now I'm older and he is we have finally reached an understanding with each other. This is good and bad as I'm obviously happy that we have reached this point but with his ailing health I'm not sure how long it will last.
My mum and Dad split up best part of 20 years ago and my mum has been held back by her lack of nous from being "just a housewife". She fends for herself but she's more like a big sister to me. I can tell her absolutely everything.
My stepmum is a book-keeper.
I made a vow to myself that when I was a kid I'd be nothing like my Dad was to me - ie show no interest in my interests - and its a wake up call for me if I feel like I'm being like him with my wonderful son. In spite of the fact my son lives in Northern Ireland we have a wonderful bond and I'm so glad I learnt from my Dad's mistakes - albeit I still make mistakes!!!
But I know that my son and I will always be close - its just something we have subconsciously committed to.
leftpeg said:
I've had a tear in my eye a few times during this thread, for a variety of reasons.
A marvelous thread in many, many different ways.
Please permit me to be a bit (hugely) self indulgent for a while as we seem to have moved on to talking about our relationships with our dads.
My dad died late last year after a long illness, having lived a long and up till his last year or so, a healthy life. While not wanting him to go through a lot of suffering and a slow decline till death it did at least give me time to reconcile myself to his eventual passing.
While not being incredibly close or anything I think we still enjoyed a decent father son relationship. When I was a kid he worked as a farm labourer, having to give many more hours than his wages paid him for.( the reason why I am still a committed socialist despite doing all right for ourselves now that you very much) When he wasn't working he was tending a garden helping to put that extra bit of food on the table. (What was worse though was that he made us work the garden with him!!!!)
Despite all this he still found time for us and brought us to the footy (Gaelic) on a regular basis. Being a bit older now and being a father myself I now know that he done even more for me than I ever realised, Somehow though I never felt as though we were incredibly close. I think I was always conscious of the age gap between us, he was forty five when I was born, and as a kid I was embarrassed to have an "old dad" Sad but true.
During his slow decline I was given the opportunity to say and do the things that I think I wanted to say and do for a long time, probably the same things I say and do with my own sons. His illness gave me the opportunity for me to be more tactile with him, to care for him in a way that I could never before. It also gave me the opportunity to tell him that I loved him, maybe for the first time ever. I don't really know if he understood and so if it meant anything to him but it meant an awful lot to me. I respected admired and loved my dad and now that he is gone I am really glad that I got the opportunity to tell him.
My two boys are just the best thing that has happened to me in my life (as well as the Countessa of course) and I am sure that most of you feel exactly the same about your offspring. I know that my boys love me, look up to me and god bless their innocence think I am a hero. I love the fact that they think this way and really hope that they will feel the same way about me when they are adults(well ok, I may not be a hero by then) Even better still, maybe they could tell me how they feel about me occasionally.
Sorry for being so self indulgent. I'll get back to my beer now.
My dad died late last year after a long illness, having lived a long and up till his last year or so, a healthy life. While not wanting him to go through a lot of suffering and a slow decline till death it did at least give me time to reconcile myself to his eventual passing.
While not being incredibly close or anything I think we still enjoyed a decent father son relationship. When I was a kid he worked as a farm labourer, having to give many more hours than his wages paid him for.( the reason why I am still a committed socialist despite doing all right for ourselves now that you very much) When he wasn't working he was tending a garden helping to put that extra bit of food on the table. (What was worse though was that he made us work the garden with him!!!!)
Despite all this he still found time for us and brought us to the footy (Gaelic) on a regular basis. Being a bit older now and being a father myself I now know that he done even more for me than I ever realised, Somehow though I never felt as though we were incredibly close. I think I was always conscious of the age gap between us, he was forty five when I was born, and as a kid I was embarrassed to have an "old dad" Sad but true.
During his slow decline I was given the opportunity to say and do the things that I think I wanted to say and do for a long time, probably the same things I say and do with my own sons. His illness gave me the opportunity for me to be more tactile with him, to care for him in a way that I could never before. It also gave me the opportunity to tell him that I loved him, maybe for the first time ever. I don't really know if he understood and so if it meant anything to him but it meant an awful lot to me. I respected admired and loved my dad and now that he is gone I am really glad that I got the opportunity to tell him.
My two boys are just the best thing that has happened to me in my life (as well as the Countessa of course) and I am sure that most of you feel exactly the same about your offspring. I know that my boys love me, look up to me and god bless their innocence think I am a hero. I love the fact that they think this way and really hope that they will feel the same way about me when they are adults(well ok, I may not be a hero by then) Even better still, maybe they could tell me how they feel about me occasionally.
Sorry for being so self indulgent. I'll get back to my beer now.
There you go, yet another tear in my eye during that.
Oh, & that wasn't self indulgent in the slightest.
It is a bloody good thing to have been able to have had that before he died. Many people regret not doing exactly that.
Oh, & that wasn't self indulgent in the slightest.
It is a bloody good thing to have been able to have had that before he died. Many people regret not doing exactly that.
Iv enjoyed reading this thread and makes me think a little re the South Asians who migrated to the UK, many of the dads ended up working long long hours to support the family. The mum's rarely worked for a number of reasons including cultural norms, to ensure the kids were fed and clothed many of the dads spend 12 plus hours a day working.
My dad being one of those, he moved away from his home leaving behind mum and kids while he worked and saved for a house. When we were together as a family dad would work mainly manual labour jobs to earn a living. I hardly ever saw him as a child as I remember and moved out basically (even though it was only across town) when I was 16, meaning I saw even less of him.......anyway wont bore you lot with the rest of it but neither my bro nor me have a great relationship with dad mainly cos we hardly talked, If I was a little younger I may resent him for it but it makes me think. He sacrificed pretty much his whole life for the sake of his children and his siblings (as he is the oldest of the brothers, he ended up setting them on their feet also).
I dont have the best realtionship with him still as when I do try and talk to him he just nods or mumbles but I should stay patient with him as his sacrifice will God wiling mean I have a better chance and so more time to spend with my children and hopfully a better relationship with them.
My dad being one of those, he moved away from his home leaving behind mum and kids while he worked and saved for a house. When we were together as a family dad would work mainly manual labour jobs to earn a living. I hardly ever saw him as a child as I remember and moved out basically (even though it was only across town) when I was 16, meaning I saw even less of him.......anyway wont bore you lot with the rest of it but neither my bro nor me have a great relationship with dad mainly cos we hardly talked, If I was a little younger I may resent him for it but it makes me think. He sacrificed pretty much his whole life for the sake of his children and his siblings (as he is the oldest of the brothers, he ended up setting them on their feet also).
I dont have the best realtionship with him still as when I do try and talk to him he just nods or mumbles but I should stay patient with him as his sacrifice will God wiling mean I have a better chance and so more time to spend with my children and hopfully a better relationship with them.
R
RafasShanksLC
Guest
I've always had a great relationship with my Mum and Dad.
I do loads of stuff with my Dad like going to the match, fishing, playing golf and just going to the pub. I suppose I'm very lucky because some of my mates have the complete opposite relationship with their parents.
I've always been able to tell them anything aswell. If I've got a problem I know I can always go to either of them and they will help me out. Sometimes you just take things like this for granted but then something makes you realise just how lucky I have been.
I do loads of stuff with my Dad like going to the match, fishing, playing golf and just going to the pub. I suppose I'm very lucky because some of my mates have the complete opposite relationship with their parents.
I've always been able to tell them anything aswell. If I've got a problem I know I can always go to either of them and they will help me out. Sometimes you just take things like this for granted but then something makes you realise just how lucky I have been.
FoxForceFive said:
I really appreciate having had the opportunity to say and do all those things with my dad. Although, because of his Alzheimer's I doubt if it meant a single thing to him (although if I am honest, his alzheimer's probably gave me an easy opportunity to express my feelings) it has meant so much to me and i think has made his passing easier to cope with. I am still waiting for the sledge hammer to hit me and the dark cloud to descend. Maybe because of those last months it might not happen
Wow what a thread. I'd left it alone till now, hadn't expected anything from it.
I'm lucky in that my Dad and i get on great. I get on with my Mum (although she drives me mad) as well, although Mums don't seem to be involved with this thread sadly. I suppose it'll always be the case of mums and daughters and dads and sons. A lot of people think we're very similar and I suppose we are. It's definitely a compliment. I take him to the football and the pub whenever we do it and I do miss the long car journeys together where we'd discuss everything.
The real killer about this thread is my granddad died recently (Dad's dad) and it was a long, slow, painful and inevitable one. I'm lucky in that I remember all my grandparents and they're all amazing and did so much for me, although sadly I didn't realised how much at the time. My Dad was never anywhere near as close to him as me and my dad are but its affected him (and me) so much I could never take my parents for granted. If I ever could.
I'm lucky in that my Dad and i get on great. I get on with my Mum (although she drives me mad) as well, although Mums don't seem to be involved with this thread sadly. I suppose it'll always be the case of mums and daughters and dads and sons. A lot of people think we're very similar and I suppose we are. It's definitely a compliment. I take him to the football and the pub whenever we do it and I do miss the long car journeys together where we'd discuss everything.
The real killer about this thread is my granddad died recently (Dad's dad) and it was a long, slow, painful and inevitable one. I'm lucky in that I remember all my grandparents and they're all amazing and did so much for me, although sadly I didn't realised how much at the time. My Dad was never anywhere near as close to him as me and my dad are but its affected him (and me) so much I could never take my parents for granted. If I ever could.
Paddy said:
Haha.
Come here Paddy.
I'll be your daddy.
