What do or did your parents do?

[Ryan]

My dad's always been a womanising, overly charming drunken fool, now he's just a lonely drunken old twat.

I dont particularly care in all honesty, he's never earned any respect from me.

I'd absolutely hate to have to say that about my Dad.

I'm not finger-pointing or anything Jon, just that I couldn't imagine that at all.

 

[Sheik Yerbouti]

My dad's always been a womanising, overly charming drunken fool, now he's just a lonely drunken old twat.

*Looks into crystal ball and sees Little Sheik posting exactly the same thing in 20 years time*

 

[FoxForceFive]

My dad's always been a womanising, overly charming drunken fool, now he's just a lonely drunken old twat.

I dont particularly care in all honesty, he's never earned any respect from me.

I'd absolutely hate to have to say that about my Dad.

I'm not finger-pointing or anything Jon, just that I couldn't imagine that at all.

Nah, it's fair enough, but I've never known anything else, he's always been a twat!

My mum did better, but only a little better! I'm almost 100% self made, which is something that's made me stronger than most, I've had no support emotionally or financially yet I've still done reasonably well.

As I say, I've known nothing else, & it's made me stronger, & definitely more independent.

 

[Ryan]

I wish I could say the same as Ryan and Sheik in that my dad is one my best friends but it simply wouldn't be true.

I tolerate him and that's about it.

Yeah, that just about sums it up for me too...

I cant even begin to think what it would be like to genuinely consider my Dad as "one of my best mates". Weird.

I do try.

But every time I do, it just makes me miss my grandfather more. He was genuinely one of my best mates.

And what kills me is that I've never once visited his grave since the funeral.

I was the same with my grandparents.

I wa sin New York when they died, and the only member of the family to miss the funerals, but I never bothered to visit their graves for about 2 years afterwards. Which was fucking pathetic really.

I made myself go and see them before I left for OZ though. Felt an awful lot better afterwards. You should really do it mate.

 

[Rosco]

Yeah I know I should I've been telling myself that for a long time now. The graveyard is about a half an hour walk from my house but I just can't bring myself to do it.

I miss him a lot, and visiting the grave is just a huge reminder of that. I struggle to even visit my Grandmother, just because I know he won't be in the house.

It's a fantasy world I live in, one were my grandfather isn't dead. I just don't get to see him.

 

[anfieldanfield]

I wish I could say the same as Ryan and Sheik in that my dad is one my best friends but it simply wouldn't be true.

I tolerate him and that's about it.

Yeah, that just about sums it up for me too...

I cant even begin to think what it would be like to genuinely consider my Dad as "one of my best mates". Weird.

I do try.

That puts me to shame a bit, you're mid twenties and you're still making an effort.

I dont even try any more to be honest.

It might seem a bit ruthless but he had his chance to forge a relationship with me for about sixteen or seventeen years. It was too late after that.

 

[Rosco]

I wish I could say the same as Ryan and Sheik in that my dad is one my best friends but it simply wouldn't be true.

I tolerate him and that's about it.

Yeah, that just about sums it up for me too...

I cant even begin to think what it would be like to genuinely consider my Dad as "one of my best mates". Weird.

I do try.

That puts me to shame a bit, you're mid twenties and you're still making an effort.

I dont even try any more to be honest.

It might seem a bit ruthless but he had his chance to forge a relationship with me for about sixteen or seventeen years. It was too late after that.

Well I (still) live in the same house as my father, I get the impression you don't live with yours ?

So it is easy for me to make an effort. Something more than a grunt in acknowledgement at the dinner table is an effort as far as I'm concerned.

 

[Ryan]

I wish I could say the same as Ryan and Sheik in that my dad is one my best friends but it simply wouldn't be true.

I tolerate him and that's about it.

Yeah, that just about sums it up for me too...

I cant even begin to think what it would be like to genuinely consider my Dad as "one of my best mates". Weird.

I do try.

That puts me to shame a bit, you're mid twenties and you're still making an effort.

I dont even try any more to be honest.

It might seem a bit ruthless but he had his chance to forge a relationship with me for about sixteen or seventeen years. It was too late after that.

Do you not live with him?

 

[Sheik Yerbouti]

I find it really sad when things get so bad that a father and son or daughter can't stand each other. I obviously don't know you lad's personal circumstances and in my opinion that's something personal to you.

But, there is one thing I've always promised myself and that is no matter how bad my relationship with my wife ever became (and despite the impression I portray on here about the missus, there isn't any strain), I would never, ever do anything to jeapordise my relationship with my little ones. Even if that meant me staying in an unhappy relationship, I'd put aside my needs for the sake of my kids. No doubt people will ask if that is a healthy environment for children to be brought up in but I'd try my upmost to make it work.

 

[anfieldanfield]

I wish I could say the same as Ryan and Sheik in that my dad is one my best friends but it simply wouldn't be true.

I tolerate him and that's about it.

Yeah, that just about sums it up for me too...

I cant even begin to think what it would be like to genuinely consider my Dad as "one of my best mates". Weird.

I do try.

That puts me to shame a bit, you're mid twenties and you're still making an effort.

I dont even try any more to be honest.

It might seem a bit ruthless but he had his chance to forge a relationship with me for about sixteen or seventeen years. It was too late after that.

Do you not live with him?

Nah, I live with my Mum and two sisters, bit of a female orientated household! One way or another me and my big sis are moving out in late summer, so it will be all change...

Parents split when I was about 15, but I wasn't close with my Dad before we moved so it made little or no difference to our relationship. And as I said, I gave up making an effort with him about three years ago.

He took me to about three football matches in about 15 years of living with him. Poor.

Jesus, this thread had turned a bit serious, hasn't it ?!

 

[Rosco]

It certainly has.

It's the first time a thread on an internet forum has brought a tear to my eye.

 

[Ijg]

I find it really sad when things get so bad that a father and son or daughter can't stand each other. I obviously don't know you lad's personal circumstances and in my opinion that's something personal to you.

But, there is one thing I've always promised myself and that is no matter how bad my relationship with my wife ever became (and despite the impression I portray on here about the missus, there isn't any strain), I would never, ever do anything to jeapordise my relationship with my little ones. Even if that meant me staying in an unhappy relationship, I'd put aside my needs for the sake of my kids. No doubt people will ask if that is a healthy environment for children to be brought up in but I'd try my upmost to make it work.

I fucking salute you sheik. For what it's worth mate, you just rose extremely high in my esteem.
I've seen plenty of bastards who have destroyed kids live just so they can be happy. I really admire that comment mate.
*Gives sheik a round of applause*

 

[livvy145]

I wish I could say the same as Ryan and Sheik in that my dad is one my best friends but it simply wouldn't be true.

I tolerate him and that's about it.

That mirrors the feelings I have towards my dad.

 

[Sheik Yerbouti]

I fucking salute you sheik. For what it's worth mate, you just rose extremely high in my esteem.
I've seen plenty of bastards who have destroyed kids live just so they can be happy. I really admire that comment mate.
*Gives sheik a round of applause*

Cheers Genius. I'm far from the persona I portray myself as on here. In fact, in real life, I'm probably nothing like 'The Sheik'.

*Ponders and wonders why he was low in Genius' estimation in the first place*

:wink:

 

[Ryan]

I wish I could say the same as Ryan and Sheik in that my dad is one my best friends but it simply wouldn't be true.

I tolerate him and that's about it.

Yeah, that just about sums it up for me too...

I cant even begin to think what it would be like to genuinely consider my Dad as "one of my best mates". Weird.

I do try.

That puts me to shame a bit, you're mid twenties and you're still making an effort.

I dont even try any more to be honest.

It might seem a bit ruthless but he had his chance to forge a relationship with me for about sixteen or seventeen years. It was too late after that.

Do you not live with him?

Nah, I live with my Mum and two sisters, bit of a female orientated household! One way or another me and my big sis are moving out in late summer, so it will be all change...

Parents split when I was about 15, but I wasn't close with my Dad before we moved so it made little or no difference to our relationship. And as I said, I gave up making an effort with him about three years ago.

He took me to about three football matches in about 15 years of living with him. Poor.

Jesus, this thread had turned a bit serious, hasn't it ?!

I just couldn't imagine what that would be like.

The one thing I miss more than anything about being over here is not being able to sit and watch football matches with my Dad, and go to games with him.

Last week, I got up at 4.30am on Wed, Thurs, and Fri to watch the United, Liverpool and Spurs games cos I knew he'd be on the other side of the World watching them and that he'd be ringing me at half-time to chat about "Carrickher" scoring for United, and all that good-stuff.

I was fucking shattered, but I wouldn't have missed it for the World.

The missus doesn't understand it one bit, and neither do I in a way, but it's so so easy to get up for.

 

[Marquis]

It's a broad and sweeping claim that I make mate that's for sure. I'm not being critical of single parents or couples who have families and live together without marrying and nor am I suggesting all married dads are automatically good fathers because they wear a wedding ring. I'm just saying that (very) generally speaking, marriage remains the family backdrop that is most likely to result in a stable upbringing.

Very generally indeed. There are a legion of kids out there whose parents 'stayed together for the kids' and they are just as fucked as the ones raised by single parents.

It's not about whether parents are married or single, it is about having the right kind of support network

 

[Ijg]

I fucking salute you sheik. For what it's worth mate, you just rose extremely high in my esteem.
I've seen plenty of bastards who have destroyed kids live just so they can be happy. I really admire that comment mate.
*Gives sheik a round of applause*

Cheers Genius. I'm far from the persona I portray myself as on here. In fact, in real life, I'm probably nothing like 'The Sheik'.

*Ponders and wonders why he was low in Genius' estimation in the first place*

:wink:

Haha you weren't low, you were mid-table, now your a league winning side!

 

[LeTallecWiz]

The one thing I miss more than anything about being over here is not being able to sit and watch football matches with my Dad, and go to games with him.

I feel the same 'emptiness' as since I've moved here, I've been lucky to seen my parents 2-3 weeks a year ... It's not easy when you're close to your family to pack up and leave but I guess that's what people do for love (ry) or ideology (me) etc ...

 

[Dave]

My dad's always been a womanising, overly charming drunken fool, now he's just a lonely drunken old twat.

I dont particularly care in all honesty, he's never earned any respect from me.

I wish I could say the same as Ryan and Sheik in that my dad is one my best friends but it simply wouldn't be true.

I tolerate him and that's about it.

I guess that puts me somewhere in the middle of you two.

 

[TheBunnyman]

My dad was a dentist, and now plays golf all the time. My mum was his receptionist, and now spends most of her life reading novels.

I've got a good relationship with both (made stronger by me having kids), but if anything my relationship with my dad is probably warmer and easier, partly because we've got more interests in common (ie sport, music, dirty jokes) and partly because he's a more extrovert personality. My mum's really shy.

Some of your comments about your fathers make me sad, mainly because I am a father, and I would hate to end up like that with any of my sons...

 

[LeTallecWiz]

Some of your comments about your fathers make me sad, mainly because I am a father, and I would hate to end up like that with any of my sons...

Yah Bunny, that' what struck me too straight away ... It's just very sad to see ...

 

[Oncy]

My dad was a dentist, and now plays golf all the time. My mum was his receptionist, and now spends most of her life reading novels.

I've got a good relationship with both (made stronger by me having kids), but if anything my relationship with my dad is probably warmer and easier, partly because we've got more interests in common (ie sport, music, dirty jokes) and partly because he's a more extrovert personality. My mum's really shy.

Some of your comments about your fathers make me sad, mainly because I am a father, and I would hate to end up like that with any of my sons...

Dont be sad Fluffykins, just dont be like that. Be a father to your kids, be a friend, be a place to seek refuge and a place to seek joy.
Be everything you would have wanted in your father. Be their trust and thier happiness, be their strong hand and their guiding light.
Be their rock, be their hope, be their ambition and their yardstick.

My father was none of these things, he was an alchoholic, wife beating mess. My ma was all those things to me. i am proud of her, she worked 2 jobs to look after me and my sister, and although it wasnt the perfect life, i am still glad she left my father when i was too young to remember him.

I sometimes think about looking him up (he probably still lives in Oldham somewhere) but for all the wrong reasons, i would only want him to see that i made it, that i am happy and healthy and have a beautiful family of my own. Then i would want to put my boot to his throat. I dont care for me you see, i ended up strong and independant, but my ma lost 17 odd years of her life bringing us up alone, and she didnt deserve that.

No father deserves respect for having a kid, dads earn respect for being a father.

 

[Avmenon]

i have a great Dad..

this thread is actually surfacing at a weird time for me, i'm actually nursing a little guilt...i havent been at home for a while now..been 'busy'...so today my brother rings me and asks me how Dad's doing?...

i ask him what he means and he says that our Dad's been ill for a week now.

i didn't know; he hasnt mentioned anything when i've called; but i should have gone to check on him.

i guess i've taken him for granted.

 

[aRdja]

My dad was a dentist, and now plays golf all the time. My mum was his receptionist, and now spends most of her life reading novels.

I've got a good relationship with both (made stronger by me having kids), but if anything my relationship with my dad is probably warmer and easier, partly because we've got more interests in common (ie sport, music, dirty jokes) and partly because he's a more extrovert personality. My mum's really shy.

Some of your comments about your fathers make me sad, mainly because I am a father, and I would hate to end up like that with any of my sons...

Dont be sad Fluffykins, just dont be like that. Be a father to your kids, be a friend, be a place to seek refuge and a place to seek joy.
Be everything you would have wanted in your father. Be their trust and thier happiness, be their strong hand and their guiding light.
Be their rock, be their hope, be their ambition and their yardstick.

My father was none of these things, he was an alchoholic, wife beating mess. My ma was all those things to me. i am proud of her, she worked 2 jobs to look after me and my sister, and although it wasnt the perfect life, i am still glad she left my father when i was too young to remember him.

I sometimes think about looking him up (he probably still lives in Oldham somewhere) but for all the wrong reasons, i would only want him to see that i made it, that i am happy and healthy and have a beautiful family of my own. Then i would want to put my boot to his throat. I dont care for me you see, i ended up strong and independant, but my ma lost 17 odd years of her life bringing us up alone, and she didnt deserve that.

No father deserves respect for having a kid, dads earn respect for being a father.

Kinell..

I'm sorry mate.

 

[jexykrodic]

The one thing I miss more than anything about being over here is not being able to sit and watch football matches with my Dad, and go to games with him.

I feel the same 'emptiness' as since I've moved here, I've been lucky to seen my parents 2-3 weeks a year ... It's not easy when you're close to your family to pack up and leave but I guess that's what people do for love (ry) or ideology (me) etc ...

You left home for ideology?

 

[Oncy]

My dad was a dentist, and now plays golf all the time. My mum was his receptionist, and now spends most of her life reading novels.

I've got a good relationship with both (made stronger by me having kids), but if anything my relationship with my dad is probably warmer and easier, partly because we've got more interests in common (ie sport, music, dirty jokes) and partly because he's a more extrovert personality. My mum's really shy.

Some of your comments about your fathers make me sad, mainly because I am a father, and I would hate to end up like that with any of my sons...

Dont be sad Fluffykins, just dont be like that. Be a father to your kids, be a friend, be a place to seek refuge and a place to seek joy.
Be everything you would have wanted in your father. Be their trust and thier happiness, be their strong hand and their guiding light.
Be their rock, be their hope, be their ambition and their yardstick.

My father was none of these things, he was an alchoholic, wife beating mess. My ma was all those things to me. i am proud of her, she worked 2 jobs to look after me and my sister, and although it wasnt the perfect life, i am still glad she left my father when i was too young to remember him.

I sometimes think about looking him up (he probably still lives in Oldham somewhere) but for all the wrong reasons, i would only want him to see that i made it, that i am happy and healthy and have a beautiful family of my own. Then i would want to put my boot to his throat. I dont care for me you see, i ended up strong and independant, but my ma lost 17 odd years of her life bringing us up alone, and she didnt deserve that.

No father deserves respect for having a kid, dads earn respect for being a father.

Kinell..

I'm sorry mate.

Nothing to be sorry about, my ma raised me and she did a stand up job. I have no regrets.

 

[leftpeg]

Oh, and the obscene chants at the game is a good one. I remember us nearly being evicted from the Centenary Stand one day after him hurling abuse at Neil Ruddock for half the game. "Fuck Ruddock, you are AWFUL!" being a favoured one.

I had to laugh at that. I took my Dad to the 96 Open Golf at Royal Lytham. We got there early on the Friday and one of the first groups out was John Daly (who was defending champion), Phil Mickelson and somebody else. Anyone who is familiar with Lytham will know that on the front nine, there are back-to-back par 5s. I can't remember which hole it was but we were standing in the front row on the tee, watching Big John Daly trying desperately to get himself back into the tournament. He drove off with such venom that he almost fell over. He was disappointed with the drive and slammed his driver down onto the ground. The graveyard-like silence was only broken by my old man 'tut-tutting' very loudly. Daly glared at him and his caddie walked right up to the old fella and stood nose to nose with him for what felt like ages. Fuck me I thought, my Dad's going to get chinned by the Open champion's caddie.

Anyway, a bit later on and we were sat on a bank behind one of the par 3s, just watching group after group come through. I had the list of groups with me and my old man asked who was next. Ben Crenshaw I said. The old man replied: "Crenshaw? Crenshaw? I don't like him. I've never liked him. Arrogant bugger. I can't stand Ben Crenshaw." Anyway, you get the picture. This carried on from the moment Crenshaw stepped onto the tee until the moment he reached the green. At which point, the woman sat next to my Dad leapt to her feet and shouted: "Come on Ben, I love you Darling." Crenshaw blew her a kiss. Well he would. It was his wife.

 

[LadyRed]

Wow. That thread really made me feel teary.

Sad; for those of you who feel you don't have the relationship...but I guess like Oncy said, if you never have something it's hard to miss it.

Hopeful; for those of you who have children and are determined to do things are certain way.

Joyful; I love how much of a part LFC plays in so many of your lives with your dads. It's the same for me with my dad, I guess I'm the Liverpool supporting son he never had!

Relieved; That my dad's not the only one that pronounces everyones names wrong!

 

[IanTheRed]

I'll start.

Mum's a dermatologist, Dad's a general practitioner. Nothing too exciting..

My mum is a Nurse, my Dad's a postman in Maghull. He retires in September after 44 years of 'doing the rounds'.

 

[Bologna]

Mum is a housewife (sorry, home maker)
Dad was (retired) a Mersey river pilot