I had to be very strict in picking my Top 5. Didn’t pick the nice guys, the funny guys, my drinking buddies or anything like that. Just picked our all time top 5 posters IMO. Load missed out but i’m sure they’ll understand when they read my list.
We have a big selection of forum royalty. Some have been here since day one. A shout out to FFF, Piedro, Ross, Shiek, Sunny, Del, Gerry, Mark1975, Vlad, Portly, Hansern, Mystic, Brizzle, LTW, JJ, SummerO, Bradley, Single, Fabio, LNM, Refugee, Spion, MM, Doc Mac, darkstar, Pesam, Dmish, Slug, Red Astaire, macca, the count, rurik, Dreamy, Buddha, StevieM, Binny, Hal, the Mac family, Stu, Cerb, Modo, Jono, etc etc. I’ve obviously forgotten loads there but believe me ye are in my etc etc.I had to stop or we'd need a brush to sweep up all the names I was dropping. We have some great new posters coming through like Athens, Cloggy, studsup and Whirly who seem to 'get' what the place is about. Then we have our random group of ninja posters who partake in guerilla warfare posting. i.e Malibu, FasterBlade, Skully, Dantes, QUADRASPAZ (all capitals), Bongoloid etc. Themn the massive flirt can't be considered as he comes and goes too often. You need to commit brother. ha.
However five stand out from the rest for different reasons. My top five posters of all time in no order are;
Brendan
Brendan has to make a top 5 list of Six Crazy Minutes posters of all time. Love him or hate him, no one can deny that he played a huge part in our forums folklore. A playground bully, could easily be accused of picking on the weak (no offence Fox) but my god did he provide some interesting posts and threads. We all still remember the thread, ‘Thanks for the CL, now fuck off please.’ His put down’s were concise and clinical and not many could deliver an insult as eloquent as him.
A quick nod to ‘Xmas Brendan’, who was a joy to read in the General Chat. Slap a santa hat on that recognisable avatar of his and you had a festive, happy go lucky teddy bear. Unfortunately we had to take the good with the bad. At the end of the day he probably had to go. His constant bullying, his aggressive posting style and repeated derailing of threads rendered his position here untenable. His levels of self involvement and constant need to massage his own ego seemed to be downfall. I genuinely believed he wanted Crouch to play badly at times to suit his agenda and reassert his sensationalistic opinions. However, we all read his posts and if he posted today we would continue to do so.
Ryan
I have always been in the Pro Ryan camp. Ryan could easily be accused of being a poster of similar ilk to Brendan. I could c&p in bits of Brendan’s ‘eulogy’ from above and a lot of it wouldn’t look out of place if directed towards Ryan . I’m not sure if Ryan would take that as a compliment or an insult to be honest.
Ryan’s footballing posts can’t be questioned. Personally, I’m a big fan of his post match reflections. He has a great eye for detail and he genuinely seems to enjoy dissecting a game rather than providing a simplistic review or a tired clichéd analysis. He has provided a lot of drama in the past and this can’t be overlooked when selecting a top 5 poster of all time. Famously booted from his own site yet still posting gained him some notoriety over the years but I see it as an achievement and proves his worth to the site as a whole. The place wouldn’t be the same without the witty, narcissistic, egocentric, perhaps self deluded (WINKY FACE) fashionista. Often perceived as a painful c*nt at times but he seems to be toning it down for the better of the site. I know this reads as a heavy back handed compliment to him but this is Ryan we are dealing with here. He can take it.
Keniget
I’ll keep it short and sweet for Keni. He doesn’t care for fame or adulation. Keni has hit the nail on the head with his postings from day one. Has he ever failed to call it like it is? Knows his football inside out. He must have a masters in taking names and kicking ass and is the one poster I ALWAYS agree with. Oh did I mention that he is never wrong? If you miss the game and looking for a match report, find his review. He has no agenda or general bias towards players. He isn’t a part of any clique, a lone wolf respected by all. A Six Crazy Minutes Footballing God.
Herr Onceared
There is only one Andy Bell. Our brave leader, our Bolo (glue), our friend. He can adapt to any posting style he needs to depending on the situation, poster or thread. I don’t think this forum would be the same without Oncy bouncing around the boards with his contagious enthusiasm. DAT POST COUNT.
He is excellent at name dropping some of the ‘lesser known’ poster and recognising the efforts of all and not just the forum big hitters. The return of his SCB should spur him on to finish the posting year out strong. Yeah an obvious choice but it’s deserved. He is the soul, spirit and essence of Six Crazy Mins.
Gene Hughes
Gene is my Six Crazy Minutes’ GOAT. He dazzled us with various incarnations, from The Abacus to Mr Moominpops. Regardless of his guise, Gene is always out to entertain us with his whimsical nature that wouldn’t be out of place in a Wes Anderson film. (Gene will probably take exception to that no doubt.) He has given us titbits into his life but his persona remains irredeemably aloof, a mystery, an enigma to many. I still don’t know if he’s Irish or English. Claims to live in New York but it could all be a long con. His love of eggs, his poetry competitions and his satirical look at the forum are just a few things that encourage us to read his posts. He’s the only poster to enter a match thread and not talk about the game ‘and I just made that up’. He has a laminated ‘Six Crazy Minutes Off Topic Hall Pass’. He can come and go in a thread as he pleases. Forum Royalty. It was tough to pick between Oncy & Gene and for a while ‘it had draw written all over it’.
Wildcard : Woland
He’s only here a short time compared to others but he has already done enough IMO to place himself in forum folklore. I’d never scroll past that avatar of John ‘Lizard’ Henry without reading the adjoined post. A baffling, hilarious yet interesting man. I don’t think many of us would survive ten minutes of enduring his inner monologue. Woland Krump is definitely our forum wildcard. It would be a travesty to lose him, I can’t wait to try ride his coat tails when he’s famous. HE WILL BE FAMOUS ONE DAY, INTENTIONAL OR NOT.
