This Mascherano Stat

[Woland]

I just been searching for mine. I thought I always just said he was shite. But no.

Orwell had it wrong, his dystopian dream has come true but Hell on Earth isn't a jackboot stomping on a face for eternity but a midfield pairing of Lucas and Henderson constantly passing the ball two yards sideways to each other as withered skeletons turn to dust in the main stand.



I've gone through the looking glass.

Real actual people who seem normal are actually expecting this actual shitheel to actually transform us.

IT'S FUCKING LUCAS. HE'S FUCKING WANK.



Adam already has more goals and assists in a few games than Lucas has managed in over 100 appearances.

I think that alone proves which side of the debate can't see what's painfully obvious. Lucas is quite bad at football.




LUCAS IS A CUNT



By the way. Lucas... How people seem to accept that this clusterfucking gangwank is actually a footballer is beyond my comprehension. 4 years, hundreds of games, 1 assist. People say you need a holding midfielder and blah blah blah. He's fucking hopeless. Holding midfielder? Hamann? Molby? Whelan? Souness? McMahon? Alonso? People who not only could defend, but knew what a fucking football was. Cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt.

That'll do, I'd be at it all day.

 

[manwithnoname]

Typically, my own criticism of Lucas was emotionally detached, fact-based and objective.

 

[Piedro]

Larry is one of the most underrated posters on this site. Hes fucking superb.

 

[LarryHagman]

Alli Dia got 50 minutes before he was found out. Lucas Leiva played for Liverpool Football club 350 times. He had a good game against Man City once and scored a goal against Havant & Waterlooville. Other than that, he was in charge of the fuckin sausages.
Passing the ball 5 yards to the side or booting it in the stand, then barging some cunt over. Any prick could do that. He's the type of player that makes any alehouse yard-dog think they could play defensive midfielder in the Premier League. I knew he was spunk 30 seconds after seeing him.
"He's Brazil's Carlton Palmer moment" was one of my personal faves.
Nice fella I'm sure, no doubt knows his way round a few marinades but, as a footballer, absolute monkey cum.

 

[Judge Jules]

Don't worry Fabio, you can always rely on the most embarrassing LFC fan forum in the world, the execrable RAWK, to easily top anything that even our most stupidest cunts can dream of:

"Lucas will win more honours in his career than any other Liverpool player.
Lucas will win as many prizes as his (team-mates) at Liverpool, under Dalglish. And hopefully, later, Rafa, again. And this might well be a considerable tally.

Our future captain. Already excellent, will be the best in the land in a short while."

"Masch was good at getin the ball but nought else. lucas can get it, run with it comfortably, pass it short and long and he has vision unlike masch"

"Lucas is the better of the two in my opinion right now, and Lucas is still just getting started"

"Lucas is a volante, masch was a destroyer though. Lucas is better for what we are trying to acheive with Kenny, and with the football we're playing now."

"The lad is awesome and runs our midfield like clockwork. Passing, workrate, passion, agression. The only thing he's lacking at the moment is the goals, but now the team is springing forward so quickly with our pass and move, he's getting in some excellent positions in the box. The goals will come."

"Lucas is certainly a better, more accurate, and quicker passer of ball, a more allround player, and will be regarded as a greater for us when he leaves/retires. Fits into Kenny's style of play better, and I definately wouldn't swap them at this stage, even if I thought Masch was outstanding in his first 18 months at our club. However, he didn't evolve his game, and I actually thought he got worse on the ball in his final season"

"He's a player I'd love to see captaining the side in the next couple of years...I think he's the stand-out candidate at the club. No outfield player offers anywhere near his leadership or depth of experience (by which I mean how he's come through hardship) or his fight or his attitude to younger players. I almost get bored these days of Gerrard and Carra being singled out for praise for how they lead the younger ones...they don't. Not like Lucas. The pair of them have always had their favourites, sure they've been great for Spearing...can Ngog or Lucas say the same? No. Lucas doesn't have favourites in that sense...he's the ultimate team player, and that's why he'd be a great captain, even more so than Reina who is hampered by his position and lacks the unique perspective Lucas' birth in fire has given him."

Heh heh heh

"The unique perspective Lucas' birth in fire has given him."

The sheer swivel-eyed lunacy of it.

 

[Mamma Mia]

You didn't try very hard.

http://www.sixcrazyminutes.com/index.php?threads/lucas-to-be-better-than-masher-very-soon.13305/

The thread was started by Fox, who is arguably the stupidest cunt to ever post on this site, but still, it's worth a read.

Highlights:

"I predict hardly anyone on here in 6 months time will say Masher is better than Lucas. The rate he has improved in the last 9 months is extraordinary and very soon will be more useful to us than Masher every was" - Fox (please get him back on here, someone)

"Fox I thoroughly agree, he's better than Masher now. People get blinded by his little legs running and slide tackles and think he's hard. Lucas is a footballer an improving one at that, come the Copa America all arguments will be resolved" - KopKing (another massive stupid cunt)

Obviously I didn't try at all. I was hoping someone would though. It's been too long since we had a Wonderman thread.

 

[Dirty Sanchez]

The thread was started by Fox, who is arguably the stupidest cunt to ever post on this site, but still, it's worth a read.

Was it ever even really an argument?

 

[Portly]

Fox's political opinions were very sound, though.