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Swingers & swinging...

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Oncey's Poll

  • you agree more with Rosco it isnt at all racist

    Votes: 38 97.4%

  • you agree with foureyes, there were racist/derogatory undertones

    Votes: 1 2.6%
  • Total voters
    39
[quote author=Sheik Yerbouti link=topic=24077.msg584670#msg584670 date=1212192153]
[quote author=FoxForceFive link=topic=24077.msg584659#msg584659 date=1212191774]
I've a mate who gets off on seeing his missus fuck other fella's.

[/quote]

Got your PM mate. Nah, not doing nothing Saturday.
[/quote]

hahaha!
 
I've nearly had a couple three's-ups but it didn't quite happen and it's probably for the best (esp. the first time, since I was still with my ex... and neither of the girls were my ex). I find these occasions tend to creep up when MDMA and alcohol are around.

I don't think I could be secure enough to deal with swinging if it was with a girl I was actually emotionally involved with or dating but the thought in the abstract has some appeal.
 
Swinging is wierd. I can appreciate people in open-relationships who want to experiment with multiple sexual partners, but it's wrong for people in a committed relationship to act out of lust for another person. There will be many, of course, which will gladly state: "Oh, it's perfectly healthy and it enhances both our sex-lives and our relationship", etc. However I disagree. For me, swingers are people trying to quash the clear differences that exist between being single and in a relationship, choosing to enjoy the 'best of both worlds', but in this 'perfect' situation, where all the lines are blured, there are clear consequences that are surely over-looked.

I, and I'm sure many of you too, couldn't bear the prospect of your partner sleeping with someone else. Whilst the term jealousy has often been used by bitchy, bitter woman in magazines, in a bid to crucify and belittle their ex-boyfriend, but what they fail to see, is that jealousy is a natural emotion that stems from love, care, and devotion - all of which are qualities which must be lacking within the swingers 'relationship'. This, in turn, raises obvious questions, such as: if you're in a position whereby you're willing to sleep with someone other than your partner, should you really be together? Probably not.

Consentual cheating is still cheating - for even though you may have your partners blessing, the betrayel is not just against them: it's against every happy moment you once shared; it's against those moments of pure ectasy that only your partner can make you feel; it's against the lost memories from a time when you couldn't dream about wanting anybody else.

If they've all diminshed to the point that just don't care, then it's time to move on...
 
[quote author=Squiggles link=topic=24077.msg584782#msg584782 date=1212230369]
Swinging is wierd. I can appreciate people in open-relationships who want to experiment with multiple sexual partners, but it's wrong for people in a committed relationship to act on lust for another person. There will be many, of course, which will gladly state: "Oh, it's perfectly healthy and enhances both our sex-lives and our relationship", etc. However I don't agree. For me, swingers are people trying to quash the clear differences that exist between being single and being together, and so to enjoy the 'best of both worlds', but, in this 'perfect' situation, where all the lines are blured, there are clear consequences that are surely over-looked.

I, and I'm sure many of you too, couldn't bear the prospect of your partner sleeping with someone else. Whilst the term jealousy has often been used by bitchy, bitter woman in magazines, in a bid to crucify their ex-boyfriend, it's a natural emotion which stems from love, care, and devotion. All of which are traits which must be lacking within the swingers 'relationship', which, in turn, raises obvious questions, such as: if you're in a position where you're wanting to act on lust for someone other than your partner, should really be together? Probably not. Consentual cheating is still cheating, for even though you may have your partners blessing, the betrayel is not just against them, it's against every happy moment you once shared together; it's against those moments of pure ectasy that only your partner can make you feel; it's against the lost memories from a time you once shared when they couldn't even dream about wanting anybody else.

I'm not a fan at all.


[/quote]

Good post mate.
 
That's all based on the assumption that love can only exist in a monogamous relationship. Or indeed, that there is only one kind of love.

I'm a little surprised at how close minded people are being about this. It's a little like preaching religious beliefs: "Suuuuure, you could go believe in another god, but you'd be completely wrong and will go to hell. There is only one truth. Ours."
 
Heh, hardly, I wouldn't say I've been dismissive of other forms of love, though my post was written upon swinging with marriage/long-term partners, etc. I think it's more to do with the majority of people/couples sharing common values: appreciation, respect, commitment, all the building blocks of a 'successful' relationship... Swinging is so at odds with all of them, and that makes it difficult to accept as swinging morally right.
 
[quote author=FoxForceFive link=topic=24077.msg584659#msg584659 date=1212191774]
I've a mate who gets off on seeing his missus fuck other fella's.

Now that is just fucking mental. It actually turns him on.

I'd just kill them, but no, he cracks one off. Mental.
[/quote]

Can I have her number pls ?

Cheers
 
Heh, but just because it's difficult for one set of people to comprehend, doesn't make it impossible. Society has greatly evolved with regards to it's views and morals on sex and relationships overall - who is to say we have got the final picture now?

It's funny how we can view sex as a casual thing with certain partners, but with others it suddenly turns into this deep, meaningful, spiritual thing. If it can take on such different meanings for one individual, then surely there is a huge amount of scope for differences when it comes to different people, cultures and belief systems.

As someone said earlier, if the subject was homosexuality instead of swinging, people would be up in arms the minute someone branded it as wrong and immoral. It took a long time for them to gain some sort of initial acceptance, I guess it'll be the same with other groups.
 
[quote author=Roger REDerer link=topic=24077.msg584844#msg584844 date=1212238681]
I've went to swinging parties before (as a single male).

Best thing that ever happened to me.
[/quote]

I'm sure you have mate.
 
[quote author=Roger REDerer link=topic=24077.msg584844#msg584844 date=1212238681]
I've went to swinging parties before (as a single male).

Best thing that ever happened to me.
[/quote]

Well that settles it, then...

Roger likes it, therefore it s the most wrong thing that there could possibly ever be.
 
[quote author=Whaddapie link=topic=24077.msg584846#msg584846 date=1212238888]
[quote author=Roger REDerer link=topic=24077.msg584844#msg584844 date=1212238681]
I've went to swinging parties before (as a single male).

Best thing that ever happened to me.
[/quote]

Well that settles it, then...

Roger likes it, therefore it s the most wrong thing that there could possibly ever be.
[/quote]

hee hee. Nice one rog!
 
[quote author=keniget link=topic=24077.msg584843#msg584843 date=1212238535]
Heh, but just because it's difficult for one set of people to comprehend, doesn't make it impossible. Society has greatly evolved with regards to it's views and morals on sex and relationships overall - who is to say we have got the final picture now?

It's funny how we can view sex as a casual thing with certain partners, but with others it suddenly turns into this deep, meaningful, spiritual thing. If it can take on such different meanings for one individual, then surely there is a huge amount of scope for differences when it comes to different people, cultures and belief systems.

As someone said earlier, if the subject was homosexuality instead of swinging, people would be up in arms the minute someone branded it as wrong and immoral. It took a long time for them to gain some sort of initial acceptance, I guess it'll be the same with other groups.
[/quote]

Obviously it's unlikely there will ever be a "final picture". I think the majority of people find love a messy, complex subject, so like to simplify it with what's 'right' and what's 'wrong'. I'm guilty of doing it myself. And, when you study the decline in marriage rates, coupled with the upsurge in divorce rates, it would take a brave man to still be a staunch advocate for marriage, heck, I think anyone getting married deserves a medal for just getting that far - but the success of marriage is largely insigificant, especially when looking at future trends.

I do think you're right that society is becoming more liberal-minded by the day and judging by the evidence we could well see little girls not aspiring to be married, not running around with pillow-cases on their little heads, but instead choosing to dispell the 'simple' love, and it embrace it's messy idealisms and push the boundaries of acceptability. It's likely we'll see a rise in the amount of cohabitating couples, all of which will have different levels of commitment towards one another - the fact that no declaration has been made before God, and their friends and family, lends itself to an increase in swinging and it's likely, for better or worse, that it will become more 'accepted'.
 
I propose a Brendan/Rollergirl/Misred/Oncy wife swapping session with a full report to follow.
 
I expect Brendan and Oncy would just ride each other and the women would have a cuppa and a chat.

You'd still crack one off though Roger and why not? We're all adults here.
 
[quote author=Mr Moominpoops link=topic=24077.msg584884#msg584884 date=1212243670]
I expect Brendan and Oncy would just ride each other and the women would have a cuppa and a chat.

You'd still crack one off though Roger and why not? We're all adults here.
[/quote]

The women would be pouring their tea all over me and would be busy licking it off my Mandingo.

But becos we're such good mates Gene, I'll let you hold the camcorder too.
 
I'll be in the toilet with my straight banana if anyone is looking for me.
 
Had I been around yesterday to continue posting on this thread, I would have said all the things Keniget said. Except far less eloquently of course.
 
[quote author=Mamma Mia link=topic=24077.msg584938#msg584938 date=1212250629]
Had I been around yesterday to continue posting on this thread, I would have said all the things Keniget said. Except far less eloquently of course.
[/quote]

You just got back from a swingers party haven't you ?
 
Ok. Fair enough.

A lot of well thought out and logical arguments from both sides on this one... That's what I was looking for, and expected.

IMHO, there's no right or wrong answer on this topic, or in most of the 'big', real life debates - It's just whatever works for the people themselves - Nobody knows what makes up another person.

Question for all the "It's just wrong" brigade, though: Your missus brings her beautiful college girlfriend home, after a girls night out and a few cocktails, and they both want to 'try something new' with you tonight.
Your wife is keen, her girlfriend's keen, and it's all up to you. No strings attached - She's going home tomorrow...

Same answer?
 
Relationship between 2 lovers is already so fraught with complications, add another 1 or 2 persons into the mix will create more problems exponentially!!!!

To avoid it, no thanks for me too....
 
[quote author=Y1 link=topic=24077.msg585112#msg585112 date=1212308741]
Relationship between 2 lovers is already so fraught with complications, add another 1 or 2 persons into the mix will create more problems exponentially!!!!

To avoid it, no thanks for me too....
[/quote]

You speak upon experience, Mike?



=p
 
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