I never understand why people somewhat downplay the role that such grievous officiating plays in our matches...
Yes, Spurs should have put us away before we even equalized, but they didn't due only to Ali's brilliance and their own failures in front of goal. Both of these factors are game-related. They happen. Goalies made saves, strikers miss sitters. Nothing untoward or unusual here.
But when we are first denied a one-man advantage for the majority of the match and then an undeniable penalty because of the ref's abject failure to apply the laws of the game, that is a completely different matter. We've not received the 'rewards' that we've earned, not because of our own miscues or Tottenham's brilliance, but simply because the officials didn't do the right thing.
Saying "Well, we didn't deserve it, 'coz they should have scored 5" just doesn't make sense... Apply the laws correctly, send Kane off, and they wouldn't have had all those chances to miss.
They should have won but didn't because they missed many great chances. That's on them.
We didn't win, in very large part to the utter ineptitude of the officials. That's not on us.