Poll Man United Vs Man City

[mwake]

Log Notes No. 4557/4990
Liverpool FC: Paranormal Research Division
April 13th, 2019

RE: The Spirit of Shankly possession inducer service

Dear Mr Klopp,

We are happy to report that we've done it, we've cracked it, as a result, the plan will go live on as Sunday 21/04/19 at 16:00 GMT.

Using computer models, results show there is an 86% probability the Spirit of Shankly god energy helping to influence a morale-deflating loss for City. As such, the plan is that newly turned Agent Ole, a closet Liverpool fan, will be given the encryption key to secretly summon the god Spirit of Shankly which will reside within him until the end of United/City game. Admittedly early detection scans have confirmed Agent Ole is infected with a virus called Japanese Knotweed but we're confident it will not resist the Spirit of Shankly.

The spirit of Shankly is then programmed to leave Ole's body and instead possess our other sleeper agent Brendan "raise that one arm salute" Rogers. Computer models show the Spirit of Shankly inspires a Vardy hattrick and a sending off for the same player.

Also please be advised Mr. Kloop that the LFC Paranormal Reseach Division has taken the liberty to reply to agent Benitez's query of whether he should or should not make Newcastle 'down tools' when we play them. We have instructed agent Benitez to carry on as normal, that we don't want to add unnecessary attention to the claims that we are manipulating the powers of the god Lady Luck. Please be assured, we have instructed Agent Benitez to play normally so that we can also use it as a training exercise for the upcoming match against the living God "Messi".


PS: Promising results with experimental voodoo technology indicates we may be able to engineer Moreno scoring a last minute winner against Spurs in the final.


Yours faithfully, this means more


Research Chief
LFC Paranormal Research Division

 

[tombrown]

boo

 

[6TimesaRed]

Wtf was that..

Spirit of Shankly have never represented the majority of liverpool fans imho..

 

[SummerOnions]

Kloop out

 

[ibromurph]

I'd find it funny if United got smashed 7-0 and all their fans started rationalising it with "well at least it means Liverpool won't win the league, so I'm happy".

.. and then Burnley to beat City 1-0, and we got onto win the league. And United qualify for the Europa League.

 

[Hansern]

Herrera and Shaw are back for Utd.
De Bruyne is out for City.

 

[darkstarexodus]

I'd find it funny if United got smashed 7-0 and all their fans started rationalising it with "well at least it means Liverpool won't win the league, so I'm happy".

.. and then Burnley to beat City 1-0, and we got onto win the league. And United qualify for the Europa League.

Clearly the best result. But I don't want to take any chances. Ole at the wheel tomorrow please.

 

[Insignificance]

Surely we all want Ole in charge going into next season???

He will be. According to the Norwegian commentators he is clearly not resposible for the last row of results... it was the players who badly let the club, and Ole of course, down against Everton... And Ole was the brave one who dared to appoligize directly on the players behalf afterwards. So no worries there.

I think I remember that it was the players who let Cardiff also down a few years back according to the same journous. And these guys are known for their critical deep analysis so there is defo something to it.

 

[jimmy]

He will be. According to the Norwegian commentators he is clearly not resposible for the last row of results... it was the players who badly let the club, and Ole of course, down against Everton... And Ole was the brave one who dared to appoligize directly on the players behalf afterwards. So no worries there.

I think I remember that it was the players who let Cardiff also down a few years back according to the same journous. And these guys are known for their critical deep analysis so there is defo something to it.

But he was definitely responsible for that initial run of wins...

 

[Insignificance]

But he was definitely responsible for that initial run of wins...

Of course.... No doubts there.

 

[LeTallecWiz]

Poll added ... what is the result you're expecting today lads?

 

[Brizzle]

I hate Herrera but he's worlds better than Fred. Hope he can get a start - he'll get right up in Fernandinho's grill like no other Utd player would.

 

[Insignificance]

Poll added ... what is the result you're expecting today lads?

Huge win for City. Will out money on them with a 1-0 handicap on the game

 

[Insignificance]

Dear @ManUtd Please put up some sort of fight today vs City. You ruined chunks of my childhood by being good & now you could ruin a chunk of my adult life by being utter crap. I promise never to tweet another gif of a car with the wheels coming off if you at least try!

 

[Mystic]

Fair play to Ole for pointing out the snide nature and dirty nature of City, it gets overlooked by almost everyone, but it's there, and epitomised by Fernandinho. It's clearly wound up Pep as well - '"Did he say that? With 65% or 70% possession, how do we do that?" said Guardiola.' - it's for when you lose that possession, which you're only able to keep because you park 8 people in their final third, you bellend.

 

[Insignificance]

Fair play to Ole for pointing out the snide nature and dirty nature of City, it gets overlooked by almost everyone, but it's there, and epitomised by Fernandinho. It's clearly wound up Pep as well - '"Did he say that? With 65% or 70% possession, how do we do that?" said Guardiola.' - it's for when you lose that possession, which you're only able to keep because you park 8 people in their final third, you bellend.

But with Ole pointing out that City will destroy Uniteds match by being dirty feels as aquarate as if Warnock felt that the cheating aggressivity was the difference between Cardiff and City.

 

[HC]

City will make this look easy.

 

[Mystic]

City will make this look easy.

It will be easy.

 

[Molbystwin]

I'm resting my hopes on the sneaky horrible cunt Vardy nicking a late one against them and they, therefore, draw against Leicester...

Utd have absolutely fucking no chance against em...

cos they are shite.

 

[hmmmmm1]

The worst united team in years and add in the fact that most of their fans are happy to loose means the pressure may be off or the players. clutching at straws maybe. we should have smashed united when we had the chance.

 

[keniget]

The hammering against Everton and subsequent fallout should mean that they're fired up and the derby presents the perfect platform to demonstrate they're not completely hopeless.

Unfortunately they are and City will win easily.

 

[moron]

The hammering against Everton and subsequent fallout should mean that they're fired up and the derby presents the perfect platform to demonstrate they're not completely hopeless.

Unfortunately they are and City will win easily.

Your first paragraph was pure foreplay, your second was all about walking out before penetration. BASTARD !!!

 

[Modo]

Don't get your hopes up fellas...
Any other result than Man U losing will be a major surprise for me.

 

[Woland]

 

[Raz]

It’ll be a draw. But there will be another twist or 2 before we pick up that Trophy.

 

[Halmeister]

City will score inside the first ten.

Man Utd will probably battle valiantly just to tease us, but will lose, appeasing the United fans. The perfect result for all, except us.

Either that or they'll get a proper bumming. There's no other scenario that plays out. United aren't getting any points.

 

[Raz]

As much as I hate the little rat, he is still a Liverpool fan, that doesn’t change over night. The mancs know it too.

 

[Judge Jules]

Sorry but that's just not true. Overnight or not, the little weasel has absolutely gone over to the dark side. It's not very long since he told a Liverpudlian journo that he wouldn't have spoken to him if he'd known he was from Liverpool, and he was dead serious about it, the try-too-hard little tw@t.

 

[Modo]

It’ll be a draw. But there will be another twist or 2 before we pick up that Trophy.

Yep that our thing. Wouldn't surprise me if we go into the last fixture top of the table and needing a win and obviously we'll draw against Wolves and have to wait for the result from the Brighton - City game.

 

[keniget]

As much as I hate the little rat, he is still a Liverpool fan, that doesn’t change over night. The mancs know it too.

Dunno, I think the Liverpool love has gone.