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Carra vs Neville

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Football commentators always, conveniently, claim to support clubs so humble and inoffensive they must have been chosen by a computer. Tyler, for example, claims he supports Woking (with Chester as his second team). Yes, of course you do, Martin. Similarly, John Motson insists he's a lifelong Barnet fan, and Clive Tyldesley, whom everyone knows is a rabid Manc fan, ludicrously tells people he only supports a non-league team, which he refuses to name. I guess commentators tend to be Nobby No-Mate types who could have grown up with a passion for such lowly clubs but it's all a bit too convenient.


FYI, here's who the hacks support, as far as I know:


The Telegraph
Chris Bascombe: Liverpool
Luke Edwards: Newcastle
Roddy Forsyth: Rangers
Thom Gibbs: QPR
John Ley: Arsenal
Jonathan Liew : Spurs
Mark Ogden: Manchester United
Matt Scott: Arsenal
Alan Smith: Arsenal
Alan Tyers: Hibernian


The Times
Henry Winter: Chelsea
Oliver Kay: Liverpool
Gabriele Marcotti: Chelsea
George Caulkin: Newcastle
Allison Rudd: Liverpool
Matt Hughes: Arsenal
Peter Lansley: Wolves
Rory Smith: Liverpool

The Independent
James Lawton: Arsenal
Sam Wallace: Arsenal
Ian Herbert: Wrexham
Simon Rice: Arsenal

The Guardian
Paul Doyle: Arsenal
Dominic Fifield: Crystal Palace
David Lacey: Arsenal
Amy Lawrence: Arsenal
Kevin McCarra: Celtic
Jacob Steinberg: West Ham
Daniel Taylor: Nottingham Forest
Louise Taylor: Sunderland
John Ashdown: Sheffield United

The S*n
Neil Ashton: Crystal Palace
Shaun Custis: Newcastle
Simon Barnes: Arsenal

The Daily Mail
Martin Samuel: West Ham
Matt Lawton: Arsenal
Dominic King: Liverpool
Matt Fortune: Arsenal
Neil Moxley: Everton

The Mirror
Oliver Holt: 'Stockport County'
Martin Lipton: Spurs
Darren Lewis: Liverpool
David Maddock: Liverpool
Simon Bird: Newcastle
James Nursey: Norwich
John Cross: Arsenal
Matt Law: Aston Villa
Alan Green has to be a Liverpool supporter.
 
Alan Green has to be a Liverpool supporter.

Oh yeah. He has never hidden his hatred of United (and especially Baconface) which admittedly must be hard even for a professional.

But his snarky bitterness and disappointment when we don't play well, or have some under performing players, is also treated to OTT reactions from him in commentary

He sounds angry and suicidal sometimes.
 
Explains why I much prefer the radio commentary.

There hasn't been a decent commentator in ages. It's full of absolute bores.

Jonathon Pearce was the last one I like. He made everything sound like Robot Wars, which was funny, and at least he has a bit of passion about him. The current lot are dull beyond measure.
 
It must be ten years or more since I've sat and watched any pre or post match analysis. I mean I've caught a few minutes here and there when it's been on in the background but I don't even pay any attention to any of it. I'd rather talk about it with my mates or on here.

As for commentators, the only stand out one of the past few years that's really done my head in has been Owen, while Tyldesely has made me mute any match for many years. The thing about Tyldesley is, he turned up at Radio City (Liverpool's local private radio station) in the mid 80s and covered all our games... this was before live TV was a thing, so the majority of our away games would involve me and my mates sat round a radio listening to him. It was quite obvious that he put on a John Motson accent... I think he was only young at the time and Motson was the main man, but me and my mates used to take the piss out of the way he'd use not only the same phrases but say them exactly the same. Embarrassing. But he made a career out of it, and probably invented some form or commentator lexicon that gets picked up in academic circles. I mean as if anyone says any of that shit. Phrases such as 'he just put a bit too much purchase on that' that no one in the world says ever but is a standard phrase in bellend TV world because Motson said it once and they all wanted to be him. I'll shut up now.
 
Has Alan Green had his teeth done? I hadn't heard him for ages, and was bemused by how weird he sounded now.
 
Hadn't noticed TBH but I'll have a listen for that next time. Maybe he's just getting older. In fairness to the guy he has shown he can change over the years - he had a spell where his contribution to any commentary would be to harp endlessly on about something incidental, like what a mess the commentary box was in, or (if you can believe it) what a daft idea squad numbers were, instead of both sides wearing 1 to 11 as they always used to. Fortunately that nonsense is long gone and nowadays he tends to stick to actual commentary, which he's always done well. Some of his descriptions of European nights at Anfield in particular have been high quality radio.
 
Bill Bothwell. Now there was a commentator. You could walk around the garden, radio on your shoulder, trying for the best reception on long wave, and just listening to Bill you would know the exact spot on the pitch that the action was happening.
 
Most UK pundits are weak and driven by group think.

See the backing Rooney got from ex pros, treat football fans for fools
 
It must be ten years or more since I've sat and watched any pre or post match analysis. I mean I've caught a few minutes here and there when it's been on in the background but I don't even pay any attention to any of it. I'd rather talk about it with my mates or on here.

As for commentators, the only stand out one of the past few years that's really done my head in has been Owen, while Tyldesely has made me mute any match for many years. The thing about Tyldesley is, he turned up at Radio City (Liverpool's local private radio station) in the mid 80s and covered all our games... this was before live TV was a thing, so the majority of our away games would involve me and my mates sat round a radio listening to him. It was quite obvious that he put on a John Motson accent... I think he was only young at the time and Motson was the main man, but me and my mates used to take the piss out of the way he'd use not only the same phrases but say them exactly the same. Embarrassing. But he made a career out of it, and probably invented some form or commentator lexicon that gets picked up in academic circles. I mean as if anyone says any of that shit. Phrases such as 'he just put a bit too much purchase on that' that no one in the world says ever but is a standard phrase in bellend TV world because Motson said it once and they all wanted to be him. I'll shut up now.

Yes, pre and post match analysis is fucking awful. I only watch after 90 minutes if we've won and I want to gloat for a bit and see the goals again

As for Tyldesley, I used to quite like him on City, but I don't suppose I had much of a frame of reference. Plus it was what, 25-30 years ago?
 
And a failed midfielder!
I was at Anfield for Carra's debut against Villa. He played centre midfield and SCORED a header from a corner..........I turn to my Dad and say "Thank god, it looks like we might finally have a goalscoring midfielder"........................3 goals in his next 500 games prove me wrong.
 
Our biggest fan amongst commentators is Alan Parry, although even he went through a phase of hiding that behind his involvement with Wycombe Wanderers. It obviously worked well enough as, although Sky used to ban him from commentating on our games, he's back doing them on occasion these days.
 
Our biggest fan amongst commentators is Alan Parry, although even he went through a phase of hiding that behind his involvement with Wycombe Wanderers. It obviously worked well enough as, although Sky used to ban him from commentating on our games, he's back doing them on occasion these days.

I remember his signoff at the end of one game years ago involving the Mancs, who hadn't played well. Some of their supporters began to slope off early, and Parry tartly observed: "There they go, off home. To Singapore."
 
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