Bet you're beating the ladies off with a stick, mate... You being such a smooth-talking and evolved sophisticate 'n all.
Summer rebuild 2023
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Bet you're beating the ladies off with a stick, mate... You being such a smooth-talking and evolved sophisticate 'n all.
Well do you talk to your parents the same way you talk to your kids? or teachers/pupils? or your mates?
Then ask yourself if you think I talk to ladies like I do with a bunch of fellow Liverpool fans......
She's what they call a False 69
As a reasonably educated and somewhat evolved grown up, I don't say "flat-chested pig-nosed..." about anybody, to anybody, anywhere.
Well forgive me for not being as well educated as you Whaddaaaaaaaaaa.
Maybe just try not being a horrible oaf, mate..? That'd be a nice start.
Really? What if you were on your way to your car in the car park and you almost got hit by a woman who was texting. Then, your heart still thumping, you walked over to your car and realized, hey, that very same lady must have been parked here, and, for shame, this very same lady hath opened her car door most hastily directly into one of your side panels. It is dented most troublingly!
You sigh, remembering yourself, the baby jesus, and England and put your groceries away. You enter the road, wait at a traffic light where you were humming one of your favourite passages from the Eroica symphony, while counting your numerous blessings, and you continue on past a line of parallel parked cars. One abruptly pulls out and smashes into you, causing your dry washed ethiopian coffee to scald your testicles.
Zounds you say, zounds, struth! Before you can even fully leave your wreck of a car, still in slight shock, testicles still stinging, you are stunned to see the very same texter from before. It is as though she has come back to more thoroughly address your side panel. You take a deep breath and are just about to ask if the fair maiden is ok, when she pushes her glasses up conspicuously with her bony middle finger, causing her button nose's ample nostrils to flair agressively, all the while she clutches a small corgi wearing diamonds. For her small frame, and limited diaphragm, she emits an outsized screech, and begins screaming "look at what you've done to my car you ugly wretch, it's worth more than your house." Her dog, sensing blood, begins yapping endlessly. In between insults, she consoles her pooch. "I'm sorry this stupid man hurt you, Valentina."
Still not?
No you're right, that was foolish of me.....that's just the types of discourse me and Momo get into on a daily basis, it gets indescribably.....inappropriate and grotesque at times so I'm sorry you had to endure that.
Wow! That's a lot of effort for nothing, Farky...
It's not very much effort for almost nothing and you've got a grip on my career.
Ok, mate. Have a wonderful day.
I've failed to lighten the mood.
Your very presence lightens the mood...
It's because I'm making solid poops again. I'm glowing!
(they are an alarmingly white color still)
(they are an alarmingly white color still)
I’d love to see what your last bird looked like.
So would I tbh, I didn't get the chance to see right before she suffocated me then proceeded to blindfold me in her bikini.
Probably was some ugly slapper though.
I’m going to assume binomial hasn’t had sex since losing his virginity in Zante aged 17.
Usually we save them for international breaks.
Can always rely on Momo to be the 1 to lead us there, that man turns everything into a sexual innuendo.
I thought innuendoes were Italian suppositories.
What??
At the risk of shit discourse, I think this justifies further elaboration...
I'm not a doctor but I think that I had such a horrible stomach bug that I got malabsorption of nutrients from my food. First I just had horrible diarrhea and barely ate, then I was left with fatty white stool. The healthy brown flush I love so much seems to be returning.
All in all, what a fun weekend on me tod, as my dad says.
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Binomial lost his virginity to Dantes!!!!!!!!!
4 goals in 6 games as CF. I've never heard of him till you just mentioned him. Considering how shambolic our recruitment is, I doubt we will gamble with South American talent until they arrive in Europe and proved themselves with a European club
He's going to end up at Arsenal or Chelsea if we don't get our fucking act together.
Martinelli
Marquinhos
Endrick
Santos
Joao Gomes
Who else we gonna miss out on?
Who was the last 1 we signed? Lucas 15 years ago!?!
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