Do I have to? Do the RAAAAAAAATTTIIIIINGS? Really? OK.
What a load of shit. Yeah, we got beat by the better team, and they fully deserved the win, but we really made it easy for them, especially in the disgracefully supine first 45 minutes. The irritation at getting beaten yet again away from home was amplified by our own dismal, lethargic incompetence and the fact that PSG are a bunch of horrible, cheating, preening hateful cunts, with a histrionic Herr Flick twat of a manager.
And the ref had a dreadful shocker of a game, too, allowing PSG's overpaid mercenary brigade of cunts to cheat, foul, roll about and fake injury for the entire game.
But all that aside, we got what we deserved. Fuck all. And what to do? Klopp didn't pick the team anyone wanted, but more worrying is the overall malaise, the lack of aggression (Milner aside), and the slow, nervous movement and again, an almost total lack of genuine goal threat.
Alisson (7) Poor fucker hasn't had this type of barrage since......well, since he played us last season. Made several important saves and deserved better from the defence. One silly pass - as usual - but overall he looked every inch a world class goalkeeper.
Gomez (4) Looked weirdly sluggish and was turned inside out as PSG attacked almost at will. Couldn't deal with the pace and movement of M'Bappe, Di Maria and Neymar. Play him at CB, Klopp. ALWAYS.
Lovren (4) He was almost never where he should have been, rushing around like a demented fireman with a leaky bucket trying to put out fires. Made a few important clearances, but was never in control of any situation.
Van Dijk (4) Often left isolated by The Wandering Fuckwit, but he was also well below average, especially by his own usually imperious standards. Careless defending for the goal, and then just sloppy in possession.
Robertson (6) Had few chances to attack in the first half onslaught, but made a few energetic forays forward after the break, and was one of our few attacking threats, even if he wasted a few good opportunities.
Henderson (3) Fucking useless. He looked like he was wearing wellies for most of the game, as the quicksilver PSG players waltzed around him at will, and he seemed to be playing the game a second behind everyone else. His passing was conservative at best, but mainly just fucking shit. Slow, laboured, sloppy and helpless.
Wijnaldum (4) The Wijnaldum Shithouse Ghost Train once again rolled into an away game in Europe, following his very popular (for the opposition) showing against Red Star. Caught in possession, gave the ball away, did fuck all. He should never play with Henderson. Two of these water-carrying bellends in the same team is asking for fucking trouble against top teams with good, quick, technically skilful players. Who fucking knew?!
Milner (7) Once again, one of the few outfield players to actually perform at a decent level, and gets an extra point for the nerveless penalty. He was also laboured at times, but at least he got fucking stuck in and actually tried to pass forwards. But let's be honest, we all knew that we'd win fuck all with a midfield trio of Milner, Henderson and Wijnaldum - as did Klopp - but the fact that he spent £100m on new midfielders and then fielded all three in a game like this, is nothing short of a fucking disgrace.
Mane (6) The only real threat from our attacking players, he was dangerous with his running and movement as the game opened up a bit in the second half. His pace and skill worried the PSG defence, who needed to be alert when he was in possession, and had help from Marquinhos to ensure he didn't cause too much trouble.
Salah (5) Mediocre, and that's generous. Run into trouble, coughed up possession and seemed amazed when PSG worked out his "move ball onto left foot. Shoot" tactic, and blocked every attempt. Fuck, 5 is generous. Score him what you like, I don't care.
Firmino (4) Back in his more preferred position, but didn't do anything at all really. Didn't even give Veratti a hard time, which was so obviously needed, and showed his usual lack of goal threat, by not having any goal threat. Good job we spent money on a new strike...oh. It's genuinely incredible how much game -time he has had for so little end product this season. At least there's lots of chat that we will be looking at spending big on a new striker in summer, albeit too late.
Subs:
Shaqiri (5) OK, I suppose, didn't make that much of a difference
Sturridge (5) Booked. Er, that's about it.
Keita (5) Our £60m midfield man was MADE for games like this! Came on, did fuck all. Yay.
