Where the actual fuck are the fucking RAAAAAAAATINGS?!
Fine, I'll put 'em here. I won't dwell on the coach antics, but the Anfield cauldron was at full blast last night, and City were obliterated in a first half of cauterising ferocity.
It didn't seem at first as if the opposition were overly rattled, they were calm and kept possession well, indeed over the 90 minutes they comfortably "won" that stat.
However, there was an air of casual superiority - this is what we do, nobody can stop us - that led to some sloppy mistakes. And that's when it all changed, as one sign of weakness is all it required for Klopp's blitzkrieg football to be unleashed. Suddenly City had no time, no space, no air to even breathe, as red shirts swarmed all over the them and launched attack after attack.
TAA, Firmino and Salah cut City apart for the opening goal, and then Chamberlain smashed in a beautiful second after Milner had demolished a dawdling, bewildered Gundogan in midfield to win possession. Salah, bewitching the hapless Laporte all evening, then curled a delightful cross onto the head of the diminutive Mane for a third. Bedlam.
The second half saw the filthy-rich Arab state football club look to their £200m bench, and replace a dizzied Gundogan with Sterling, and that changed the tempo, as they passed the ball around at pace around an understandably tiring Liverpool midfield. But there was still no real penetration or bite to their play, as our defence repelled all threats quite magnificently. A clean sheet was deserved, and while this is by no means over, they know they're in a real battle now.
Karius (7) No real saves to make, but I liked his calmness and front-foot goalkeeping, and he claimed some good catches with no fuss.
TAA (9) Had plenty to prove, as he'd been roasted in two previous displays against tricky, fast wide players. Maybe he wouldn't have played had Gomez been fit. No matter, he had arguably the best game of is career so far. Disciplined, fast, tenacious and judicious in possession. Sane saw lots of the ball, but he found TAA in imperious form and could not get the better of him all night.
Lovren (8) When he plays like this, he looks every inch the top quality CB. Won everything with a display of controlled aggression. Crucified Jesus, who was left disconsolate and frustrated.
Virgil (8) Powerful, quick and brilliant in the air, this was another very, very good display from the defensive lynchpin. Best CB we've had since Carragher at his very peak.
Robertson (9) Best LB in the league? Possibly. This was another lung-scorching display from the Scot, who caused havoc in attack, and then dashed back whenever City threatened. Poor old Gundogan didn't know what the fuck to do with him, and Sterling got nothing either.
Milner (9) A monster of a game. Was the first to get into City, and he allowed Silva and de Bruyne no time to play. Or even think. Used the ball well, and set up the second goal with a threshing machine tackle that Gundogan will be replaying in his nightmares.
Henderson (7) Didn't get started until about 10 minutes in, and then set about City with relish, with simple passes and tenacious harrying. Never gave up anything as a lost cause, and seemed to be in tw0 places at once sometimes. Shame about the yellow, he'll be missed in the second leg.
Chamberlain (8) What. A. Fucking. Goal. Turned with the ball, saw the space ahead of him, ran into it for a few steps, and then unleashed a guided missile into the corner. Ederson would have needed a tank for a hand to stop it. Worked really hard defensively, and was quick to attack with good passing and movement. Nice one.
Mane (8) He was a menace all game, and when we needed a big performance, we duly got it from Sadio, who rarely fails to deliver. Has only one thing in mind when he gets the ball: cause maximum damage.
Salah (9) Guardiola seemed to think that Laporte was the answer to stopping Salah. Hahahahahaha. Ran riot in the first half, scoring one and creating another. They couldn't get near him in the first half, as he swerved, tricked and galloped in, around and over their defence at will.
Firmino (7) Closed down their players all game, and made countless runs into space to pull City left and right. Indefatigable. Helped mug Walker for the first goal, after reacting first to his own saved effort.