Liverpool open talks for Brazil starlet as Jurgen Klopp eyes another South American

[Insignificance]

What? WHAT?

Just simply and calmly explain what the cunting fucking hell you are on about.

What player are you comparing to Morientes? Or are you comparing a hypothesis to a real person?

Relax mate. I like lunatics... you make me look sensible.

But while we don't have to see Morientes as Morientes bit rather as a expensive experienced player whom we desperate should splash cash on since we have cash and need a stop gap.... And yet we have missed out on these signing before and then mocker those who believed they would become any good.

 

[kingjulian]

I can't really comprehend some posts in this thread.

Usually I'm good at filling in the blanks...but the choice of words in some of the posts above makes me feel utterly clueless.

 

[Jack D Rips]

I seem to recall that when we signed him, Nunez had never played a full 90 minutes of top-flight football in his entire life, and had almost become a part-time footballer, who was going to jack it on to be a solicitor or accountant or something.

He was a part-time footballer. Spent the rest of his time as a stunt double for Rowan Atkinson.

 

[Mamma Mia]

Tomkins should've had his fingers cut off just to make sure he doesn't write anything anymore, ever. People who voluntarily read through his boring fucking drivel need their heads examined. Or smashed

How much of his stuff did you voluntarily read in order to form this opinion?

I read one of his pieces once and didn't like his style much. So I didn't read any more. I suspect some of his most vociferous critics enjoy recreational outrage so much that they 'voluntarily read' a lot of his stuff, and I guess you are right... they need their heads examined.

 

[Fabio]

How much of his stuff did you voluntarily read in order to form this opinion?

I read one of his pieces once and didn't like his style much. So I didn't read any more. I suspect some of his most vociferous critics enjoy recreational outrage so much that they 'voluntarily read' a lot of his stuff, and I guess you are right... they need their heads examined.

I don't think I've ever read an entire one of his articles

He surely is the inspiration for "TL;DR"

 

[tombrown]

Is he? And what striker are being heavily linked to and are now discussing at great length, so I should know what the fuck the idiot is on about?

 

[Shadey]

We could always wait for Southampton to buy this lad first

 

[Dirty Sanchez]

I can't really comprehend some posts in this thread.

Usually I'm good at filling in the blanks...but the choice of words in some of the posts above makes me feel utterly clueless.

That's the typical outcome when Insignificance starts banging on his keyboard and clicking "Post Reply"

 

[jan]

How much of his stuff did you voluntarily read in order to form this opinion?

I read one of his pieces once and didn't like his style much. So I didn't read any more. I suspect some of his most vociferous critics enjoy recreational outrage so much that they 'voluntarily read' a lot of his stuff, and I guess you are right... they need their heads examined.

Not much, just skimmed through what's been posted on here over the years. I don't know if it counts as voluntary as I just came across it while reading this board?

 

[Woland]

I bought Tomkin's book about Rafa's first season after we won the CL. It was defo his first book and very well received and reviewed so though I don't normally buy footy books I knew he had self published and I thought it sounded like something really positive. Well I suppose it was, but to a degree... It's hard to describe. But you know those letters in Playboy where someone goes on about how fit someone was they were fucking and it's difficult to read? Well it was that for 200 pages.

 

[Dreambeliever]

Given how we all remember his gloriously inaccurate scouting report of Lucas*, which seemed to not only get his playing style and technical attributes wrong, but also appeared to be describing an entirely different person physically, I'm not sure what to make of this.

Except he sounds shit on a cosmic scale.

*"He’s an exciting player of the type that Brazilian football hasn’t produced too many of recently. Lucas is different. He's a big, blonde figure whose power and physical strength comes with attacking ability. He can pass well and loves to rumble forward. He gets on the scoresheet both with blistering shots from range and from bursting beyond the strikers."

Which is still one of the all-time greatest, most wrong things ever written about a footballer, ever.

In fairness that was what Lucas was doing in Brazil before he came here.

 

[juniormember]

In fairness that was what Lucas was doing in Brazil before he came here.

To be fair he wasn’t.

 

[gene hughes]

I bought Tomkin's book about Rafa's first season after we won the CL. It was defo his first book and very well received and reviewed so though I don't normally buy footy books I knew he had self published and I thought it sounded like something really positive. Well I suppose it was, but to a degree... It's hard to describe. But you know those letters in Playboy where someone goes on about how fit someone was they were fucking and it's difficult to read? Well it was that for 200 pages.

Playboy had letters?

 

[Dreambeliever]

To be fair he wasn’t.

Well according to his documentary he was.

 

[juniormember]

Well according to his documentary he was.

He had a grand total of 4 goals for Gremio.

 

[manwithnoname]

Well according to his documentary he was.

He wasn't ever "big", either. All that Vickery shite made him sound like Emmanuel Petit, "rumbling forward" with his "power and physical strength"

So, no, it wasn't what Lucas was doing, and nor was it an accurate description of what he looks like, plays like, or any of his physical attributes

All of which I said IN THE FIRST FUCKING POST, so I would suggest next time you just fucking read it properly

 

[Lippy]

He wasn't ever "big", either. All that Vickery shite made him sound like Emmanuel Petit, "rumbling forward" with his "power and physical strength"

So, no, it wasn't what Lucas was doing, and nor was it an accurate description of what he looks like, plays like, or any of his physical attributes

All of which I said IN THE FIRST FUCKING POST, so I would suggest next time you just fucking read it properly

Or there’ll be some form of punishment?

 

[Fabio]

Or there’ll be some form of punishment?

Effectively it'll be this

 

[manwithnoname]

Or there’ll be some form of punishment?

No, it clearly didn't work when his school teachers tried, so what's the point.

 

[tombrown]

No, it clearly didn't work when his school teachers tried, so what's the point.

He was deported to the colonies