A close season boring anecdote about season tickets.

[Woland]

About ten years ago my uncle wanted a pair of season tickets, so he went down to the ticket shop to enquire. The girl laughed at him and said they had a billon people on the waiting list so he said well, if I pay you for two now can you send them out if you get any cancellations?

She was all like WTF, and he said, listen, here's the cash, take it off me and give me a receipt. I'll come and get it back if nothing comes up. Two weeks later a pair of season tickets in the upper centenary arrived.

There is no try, only do.

 

[Red Astaire]

That's a great story. I love it when the cosmic clay just comes together. Like your lads story about the time he gave a bunk into the kop for his mate. I love stories of cheeky scamps! How he did that I'll never know. It seems damn near impossible!

 

[peterhague]

I hope the person he deprived of that ticket wasn't a 16 year old cancer victim with 10 months to live who'd waited patiently for his turn for many years.

 

[Woland]

I was telling this story to my mate a couple of weeks ago and he had a similar one. He was going on someone else's season ticket... him and three of his mates sit together. The lad whose ticket it actually was, the one he'd 'borrowed' it off for years went to prison and ended up giving it to someone who could do favours for him inside - so my mate was left fucked... so he went up to the ticket office and explained the situation, said it was right next to his mates and he'd been going on it for years and was gutted etc. The girl said come back in a couple of weeks and she'd see what she could do, and he ended up with one right behind them, so instead of four in a row it was a letter L. He was never on the list.

No wonder that list is so fucking long when you can jump the queue with a half decent blag.

 

[the count]

I hope the person he deprived of that ticket wasn't a 16 year old cancer victim with 10 months to live who'd waited patiently for his turn for many years.

Surely Woland's uncle was more deserving as he would have got more use out of the tickets?

 

[Woland]

Surely Woland's uncle was more deserving as he would have got more use out of the tickets?

Not only that, it's been mine this season. And since he got them he moaned that his legs were knackered and turned them into fucking awesome seats halfway between the kop and halfway line halfway back in the lower centenary.

To be fair his legs are fucked. His loss was my gain.

 

[Red Astaire]

Ha ha!

 

[Woland]

But... his fucking son wants it next season so I'm doooooomed.

I haven't had one in my own name for aeons.

 

[peterhague]

Surely Woland's uncle was more deserving as he would have got more use out of the tickets?

I have a lot of sympathy for young cancer victims with just months to live.

 

[the count]

I have a lot of sympathy for young cancer victims with just months to live.

Now I know you are telling fibs

 

[Dreambeliever]

So 10 years ago someone near the top of the waiting list cancelled and he knew this was going to happen?

Very smart.

 

[Woland]

What?

 

[peterhague]

Now I know you are telling fibs

Yeah I overplayed my hand there.

 

[Brizzle]

My Uncle got into our Wembley CL Final claiming to be a steward using a stewards vest/jacket he had procured from somewhere

 

[Squiggles]

I need to work on my sob story.

 

[Spaghetti Legs]

Watch the X factor when it starts if you need any tips.