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Urinal Etiquette

Discussion in 'The Vault' started by Mistadobalina, Sep 20, 2013.

  1. LarryHagman

    LarryHagman Well-Known Member

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    I'd fucking brick it if I walked in the bogs and there was a bloke stood at the urinal with his kecks and bills round his ankles.
     
  2. Dahuge

    Dahuge Very Active Member

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    Quality, this has made my morning..
     
  3. Rouge Penguin

    Rouge Penguin Very Active Member

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    Imagine how crazy taking a shit must be in his world.

    Couching like a monkey, with feet on the seat and trousers, shirt, kecks and socks hung on the door peg.
     
  4. Rouge Penguin

    Rouge Penguin Very Active Member

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    Some weird mutha fuckers even stand up to wipe. I mean who stands up? Youre asking for shitty shirt tail. Mad, truely mad people.

    Who knew the bathroom could provide such mentals.
     
  5. Aidan O' Neill

    Aidan O' Neill Well-Known Member

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    This. I've had this argument with several people. How the hell can people wipe standing up?
     
  6. nealmac

    nealmac Turn around Member

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    Well you have to at least "half" stand up into a squatting position. Does that count as standing up?
     
  7. Rouge Penguin

    Rouge Penguin Very Active Member

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    It's a lean and look at best.
     
  8. Dirty Sanchez

    Dirty Sanchez I Moustache You a Question Member

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  9. Red Mullet

    Red Mullet Well-Known Member

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  10. doctor_mac

    doctor_mac My cowboy name is Garland Justice Moderator

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    I know a guy who used to do the trousers round the ankles thing at urinals (in work) for a laugh.  Whenever he found himself going into the toilets and there was a relatively new member of staff he'd go in and drop the trousees.
     
  11. Frogfish

    Frogfish Gone to Redcafe Member

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    I think you are all missing a trick here.  I stand right next to the bugger and smile at the wall in front of him ..... they can't look my way without making eye-contact, it stops their flow dead, they squirm and are out of there prompt like, thereby giving me a full choice of urinals ... or I can wave it from side to side and use all at once !
     
  12. doctor_mac

    doctor_mac My cowboy name is Garland Justice Moderator

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    Why have I had two likes in this thread today on a post I made in 2013? Not complaining, but interested.
     
  13. C/O

    C/O Well-Known Member

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    Markeh mentioned this thread in the Awards thread, which prompted RedNinja to link it.

    I still can't believe this isn't referenced more to be honest, class thread.
     
    6TimesaRed and doctor_mac like this.
  14. nealmac

    nealmac Turn around Member

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    I've just given you another one Doc.

    Seriously. This this is fantastic. How is it only 2 pages long?
     
  15. nealmac

    nealmac Turn around Member

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    [​IMG]

    I AM DA DAWG, DA BIG BAD DAWG!
     
  16. doctor_mac

    doctor_mac My cowboy name is Garland Justice Moderator

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    I've developed a fire-side psychologist's theory about boys who pull the trousers around the ankles – that they were taught how to pee standing up by their mums. No Dad would let their son whip the kecks down when pissing in a urinal. We know it's a fucking weird and frankly unnecessary thing that might lead in unfortunate circumstances to brutal buggery. Mums be like, 'oh just pull the whole lot down Frederick instead of fiddling about with that zip!'
     
  17. Athens

    Athens Greatest Bloke Ever [Citation Needed] Member

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    I knew a girl who thought blokes wiped the end of their cocks with a tissue after a piss. She never knew about the shake! In her defence she didn't have any brothers.
     
  18. jason

    jason ΛΩΔ Member

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    A woman asked me once if I was a dabber or a shaker? E What does this suppossitly reveal ?
     
  19. jason

    jason ΛΩΔ Member

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    I cant see how this would work, where would the nanob's put the recycled poop they would have to dump it in the sweat glands, the headwand bots would revolt. Causing  deathly vapoures.
     
  20. dantes

    dantes Well-Known Member

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    Alternatively, everyone would have iceman powers.
     

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