Ok. So last night i had this dream that i broke into an England team meeting and as they were about to kick me out i whispered something into Rooneys ear and he stopped them and said he needed me to help him sort out his form. We left the room and walked out onto this golf course.
I sat Rooney down and gave him an 'any given sunday'-esque motivational talk. I cant remember all of it, but the main gist was that he forgot how to enjoy playing football, how to love being out on the grass with his mates doing what he loved, and how hed gotten bogged down in the PROFESSIONAL part of being a proffessional footballer and how the important part was the FOOTBALLER part. It went on for some time, and in the end i said 'look Wayne, i cant change you, much less the game, but you can change the way you percieve it, ignore the stadiu
, the fans, the baggage and remember that you were the best player on the park with your mates. Remember that and let everything else go' and he said thank you, told the staff that i was to be hired and promised me a hat trick in his next game.
I wish i had this dream before an England game.