The slammer

[dee]

We are rapidly approaching Jim White's pay day when the transfer Window SLAMS shut

What are we expecting / hoping / wishing for in the final week leading up to 11pm on Monday 1st

Expecting

Balotelli signed up
Borini moved on

Hoping

Lucas sold (not loaned) to Napoli
Agger sold (not loaned) to somewhere decent for ~£10m
Assiadi sold to Stoke for £6m+
Jones upgrade to be signed (Romereo?)
Kolo moved on / Loan for Coates

Wishing

One more signing in Midfield

 

[Oncy]

Nailed it Dee.

 

[Oncy]

Oh also I hope we sign Chelseas physio

 

[DHSC]

 

[Oncy]

I would like to put my peepee in her until it shouts.

 

[Richey]

Not really that bothered if we buy another keeper or not.

Brad Jones is not terrible and doesn't seem that fussed if he plays or not, whereas signing back up keepers normally means we are guaranteeing them cup games at least, even if they end up being a bit shit.

We must have at least one reasonable keeper in the reserves who can play in a real emergency.

 

[Oncy]

If I play for them I be all like (well firstly a massive cunt, then...) awww man, Bell has a groin strain AGAIN!! PHYSIO!!!

 

[737Max]

Expecting SSNHQ to interview Arry at the gates of the QPR raining ground talking out the window of his Range Rover proclaiming player x y and z are triffic.

Expecting dick head football fans at every ground where the Sky cameras are to go "woooooahhh" every time those pricks at Sky say they are signing player x y or z.

Expecting Jim white to be in that shitty suit with yellow gold tie combo like its a symbol of transfer deadline day.

 

[Frogfish]

Romero to sign
We can't let Agger, Coates and Kolo go - we are then down to 3 CBs and we know that's not enough. Coates to go on loan, Agger sold and Kolo stays as #4 (as he has already said he is going to do anyway).
One more DM.

Otherwise Dee has it down pat.