The departed
- Thread starter Dreambeliever
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My sincere condolences Jon. My thoughts are with you. Tough times ahead but stay close to your buddies and loved ones. They'll not take away the hurt but will offer comfort and support. Embrace that and it will help in even a small way
Really sorry - much condolences Jon numbers.
This has been a really weird, horrible and grounding week.
About 10 years ago, my closest friend and his brother came to mine to celebrate New Year. My best mate brought his wife, and his twin brother brought his girlfriend. I knew both girls well, I'd actually known the second girl longer than my Mrs, we'd knocked around together in our late teens, and my Mrs knew her too from another circle of friends and from when they went to Primary school together. Both girls were the life and soul of any party.
Neither couple are a couple these days, but we all live in the same area, so we see each other and still all get on well. To provide an example of how closely knit this area is and it's "small town" life, my best mate had two sons to his girl - one lad is best friends with my eldest lad. My mate is still my closest mate, we see each other every week.
Both girls are now in their 30's/40's, one 5 years younger than me and the other around the same age as me. Ironically, both had similar conditions from different initial problems that led to them needing Kidney Dialysis regularly, one had a transplant several months ago which ultimately didn't work.
Anyway, I digress, both passed in the last couple of days, two days apart to be precise.
What an age to go, what a way to go. Not cancer, not a sudden heart attack, car accident or any of the usual suspects. Both from organ failure at relatively tender ages. Both were once close friends to each other and partners to twin brothers. Four young teenage kids left behind.
I dug out photos this week from that New Year, looking at them both loving life, drinking, happy. I just don't get it, I can't get my head around our frail mortality and don't think I ever will. But there's an even more horrible, sick irony, that they have both gone so close together, for the same reasons.
About 10 years ago, my closest friend and his brother came to mine to celebrate New Year. My best mate brought his wife, and his twin brother brought his girlfriend. I knew both girls well, I'd actually known the second girl longer than my Mrs, we'd knocked around together in our late teens, and my Mrs knew her too from another circle of friends and from when they went to Primary school together. Both girls were the life and soul of any party.
Neither couple are a couple these days, but we all live in the same area, so we see each other and still all get on well. To provide an example of how closely knit this area is and it's "small town" life, my best mate had two sons to his girl - one lad is best friends with my eldest lad. My mate is still my closest mate, we see each other every week.
Both girls are now in their 30's/40's, one 5 years younger than me and the other around the same age as me. Ironically, both had similar conditions from different initial problems that led to them needing Kidney Dialysis regularly, one had a transplant several months ago which ultimately didn't work.
Anyway, I digress, both passed in the last couple of days, two days apart to be precise.
What an age to go, what a way to go. Not cancer, not a sudden heart attack, car accident or any of the usual suspects. Both from organ failure at relatively tender ages. Both were once close friends to each other and partners to twin brothers. Four young teenage kids left behind.
I dug out photos this week from that New Year, looking at them both loving life, drinking, happy. I just don't get it, I can't get my head around our frail mortality and don't think I ever will. But there's an even more horrible, sick irony, that they have both gone so close together, for the same reasons.
Condolences Mark.
You know, I'm pretty good at this stuff. I get really numb at death because I find it so unfathomable. I'm not sure if that's a good thing, I show empathy, sympathy, horror, shock, everything else. I feel it in my heart, but I feel detached from it too. It's weird.
We each deal with it as we need do ... Just best to handle these things as best as possible so you can heal and move on. It's tough ... I still find it odd that my mom has no parents - I mean, it's a world I know I'll probably have to face one day but it just seems surreal - more a nightmare than a possible reality.
I get that, because I grew up with one living Grandparent, whom for the last 20 years or so of her life I never got to see anyway. Whereas mine and the missus both have living parents who adore our kids and have shared in so much love and great times with them.
Thoughts and prayers, mark. Wizzy's absolutely right - there is no right and wrong in such things and you have to do what you yourself find most helpful. Those photos are a reminder that you played your part in making them happy. I feel sure that thought will help you as time goes on.
Thanks mate.
My wife's grandmother passed away last night.
She was 94.
She grew up in Poland ... the family's last link to that world.
She survived the Holocaust in Poland due to her neighbors, who hid her and her family in the back of their barn (put a plank next to the back, so her family of 10 could hide).
Three of her family members died there in front of her.
When the war ended, the surviving family went back to their home and were almost killed by the 'new' tenant (post-Holocaust pogroms were common sadly).
The family made its way to Switzerland ... She was very sick due to what her body went through in those 3 years and has to be hospitalized to recover ... but she did meet her husband, who survived the camps, while hospitalized.
She struggled to have kids - her body went through a lot of trauma, but after many failed attempts, managed to have 2 children.
Her husband died from a heart attack when she was 60 ... he saw two grandchildren though.
She moved to Israel in '94 and despite many health issues (open heart surgery, problems with walking etc) she managed to host her 8 grandchildren every week for a meal, and spent quality time with her 12 great grandchildren (she'll miss seeing the 7th grandchild get married, and my next child later this year 🙁 ) ...
This generation survived hell ...and they still managed to make the most of their lot, and bring happiness and love back into their worlds.
May her memory always be a blessing to those who knew her ...
She was 94.
She grew up in Poland ... the family's last link to that world.
She survived the Holocaust in Poland due to her neighbors, who hid her and her family in the back of their barn (put a plank next to the back, so her family of 10 could hide).
Three of her family members died there in front of her.
When the war ended, the surviving family went back to their home and were almost killed by the 'new' tenant (post-Holocaust pogroms were common sadly).
The family made its way to Switzerland ... She was very sick due to what her body went through in those 3 years and has to be hospitalized to recover ... but she did meet her husband, who survived the camps, while hospitalized.
She struggled to have kids - her body went through a lot of trauma, but after many failed attempts, managed to have 2 children.
Her husband died from a heart attack when she was 60 ... he saw two grandchildren though.
She moved to Israel in '94 and despite many health issues (open heart surgery, problems with walking etc) she managed to host her 8 grandchildren every week for a meal, and spent quality time with her 12 great grandchildren (she'll miss seeing the 7th grandchild get married, and my next child later this year 🙁 ) ...
This generation survived hell ...and they still managed to make the most of their lot, and bring happiness and love back into their worlds.
May her memory always be a blessing to those who knew her ...
Sorry for your loss, Avram, and shalom to her soul. I get a double dose of church today (singing in the choir at an Anglican church - Episcopalian in US terms - before I go to Mass at my Catholic parish church) and will offer prayers for you all, including your impending new arrival, at both.
Thanks so much for sharing mate. She was some woman to see and survive all that. May she rest in peace.
