JAMIE: So what exactly happened then, Dad? We 'ad to chuck your pizza away you were so flippin' late!
'ARRY: I'll tell you what happened, son. The flippin' filth 'appened - that's wot! One of 'em was an Asian, the other one was a flippin' I-talian and the one on the desk in the flippin' station was a flamin' Irishman! I thought to meself, flamin' nora, what's happened to Dixon of Dock Green, eh?
JAMIE: Flippin' foreigners!
'ARRY: Flippin' foreigners!
LOUISE: I quite like Japanese people. They buy my records. Or they used to, anyway.
JAMIE: Er, yeah, I quite like a crispy duck every now and then...
OTHER BLOKE: ha ha - "quack quack!" Ha ha!
'ARRY: Who IS that bloke?
JAMIE: Dunno, Dad. I thought he came in wiv you.
'ARRY: Whoever he is, he sounds a bit 'simple' to me.
JAMIE: Anyway, why were you at the police station?
'Arry: Good question, son. I suppose it was because I was English! That's what this country has flippin' come to! "Evening all - 'ere, allo allo allo, are you English? Born and bred? Come wiv me, pervert!" That sort of thing.
JAMIE: I bet Cappelo wasn't there. Or Benitez. I bet neither of them had a stripy outfit on and a ball and chain round their flippin' ankle!
'ARRY: Too right, son! By the way, Louise, how was all that Armani stuff, frocks an' that, me mate brought off the back of that lorry earlier on?
LOUISE: Lovely, Dad. Nicer than all that Prada stuff he delivered the day before!
'Arry: Plenty more where that came from, luv! Anyway, back to the filth. They only tried to charge me!
JAMIE: Wot? For being the bestest Dad in the whole wide world? And the best manager?
'ARRY: No, for being a flipping patriot! Or, as they put it, all snidey like, 'Being found to have been guilty of various criminal acts'! Flipping idiots!
JAMIE: Flipping fools!
LOUISE: Fancy a curry when we've finished this game?
'ARRY: Cor, that sounds smashing luv!
OTHER BLOKE: Ha ha! Luvvly jubbly! Ha ha!
'ARRY: Who
IS he?